[Junaid]

Celebrations are considered as an important aspect of everyone’s life. While there are some people who spend a lot of their financial resources on occasions like weddings and birthdays, other people consider this as entirely unnecessary.In this essay we will talk about why we don’t waste money on such events and why it should be use for social welfare cause.

On the one hand, there are so many people who spend a large amount of money on celebrating several occasions like weddings and birthdays just because they want to show their wealth. Weddings and events are a good platform to show off their designer clothes, jewellery and makeup. In addition, people these days organise such functions like mehndi, garba, dance night to grab attention on social media.Due to these reasons people spend a lot of waste money on such functions.

On the other hand, there are people who consider this spending as a waste of money and this unnecessary spending is not only leads to a financial burden on the host family but also creates a sense of competition among the relatives to organise a better celebration for their loved ones. There have been several instances of people taking personal loans just to impress the society. For such reasons these people find spending on such events as a waste of money and they believe that this money should be utilised for a social cause like feeding poor people or helping charities.

In conclusion, celebrations are important in everyone life. However, it is entirely our responsibility to be watchful about our spending and instead of wasting our hard earned money for impressing people it should be used for social welfare.

[Unknown Member]

Celebrations are considered as an important aspect of everyone’s life. While there are some people who spend a lot of their financial resources on occasions like weddings and birthdays, other people consider this as entirely unnecessary. In this essay we will talk about why we don’t ( shouldn’t) waste money on such events and why it should be use ( used )for social welfare cause.

On the one hand, there are so many people who spend a large amount of money on celebrating several occasions like weddings and birthdays just because they want to show ( flaunt) their wealth. Weddings and events are a good platform to show off their designer clothes, jewellery and makeup. In addition, people these days organise <s>such </s>(not required)functions like mehndi, garba, dance night to grab attention on social media. .Due to these reasons people spend a lot of <s>waste </s>( not required) money on such functions.

On the other hand, there are people who consider this spending as a waste of money and this unnecessary spending <s>is </s>( not required) not only leads to a financial burden on the host family but also creates a sense of competition among the relatives to organise a better celebration for their loved ones. There have been several instances of people taking personal loans just to impress the society. For such reasons these people find spending on such events as a waste of money and they believe that this money should be utilised for a social cause like feeding poor people or helping charities.

In conclusion, celebrations are important in everyone (everyone’s) life. However, it is entirely our responsibility to be watchful about our spending and instead of wasting our hard earned money for impressing people it should be used for social welfare.

Feedback

Task Response:

Organization
is strong, the question is answered but the word requirement is not met. Length is inappropriate, at 295 words. Should not be more than 280 at max.
Ideas
are connected to topic, but could be better supported with more details.
The opinion is clear.

Cohesion/Coherence:

Good
use of linking words / transition words like however, on the one hand,
on the other hand, such as,……..

Vocabulary:

Easy
words are used, such as “show off”. More advanced vocabulary should be used, such as “flaunt“.

Vocabulary repetition–
such as “waste of money”. There should be more paraphrasing.

Fair
use of different sentence structures . Can be further improved.

Grammar:

Incorrect
use of verbs ( marked as above in bold) …… “don’t”, “use”, “is”…..
Incorrect
use of possessive pronoun “everyone’s”

Overall well tried with a good approach . Need to work on “ use of verbs” , sentence formation & types and good use of impactful vocabulary.

Score : 3/6

[Shoaib]

Generally, we have seen that most of the people spend a lot of money on their special occasions like wedding ceremonies and birthdays parties. The below paragraph demonstrates the importance of such events and spending huge money on these events.

The wedding ceremony is very important for the individuals including male and female those wait for this event for whole life and their families will equally be excited to celebrate these happy occasions of their children and everyone stab to make it memorable for the lifetime. Whereas Birthday parties are also very important, we celebrate one time in a year that gives us opportunities for families to gather and gifts with each other. These two events have a lot of importance in our lives and make strong bonding among the families and friends

However, it has been observed that some families spend a lot of money that is totally wastage of resources, and it will not pretend very example in the society. People waste their resources money like booking very expensive hotels, inviting so many people, offering many food dishes, arranging concerts, etc. This totally flaunts the money among others. This attitude creates inequality in the society for example those people that are living in such kind of community might feel inferior while celebrating such kind of occasions for their own children and not able to spend a lot of money

In conclusion, our wedding ceremonies and birthday parties are very crucial and we should celebrate with peace and excellent manner that should be a very good example for others and rather than waste money in unnecessary, we should support to needy families so they can also celebrate and do pray for the happy lives of us.

[Neha]

Celebrations have never the less been the most expensive events in people’s life. To pen down weddings, birthday bash ups etc turn out to be not only costly but also a reason behind keeping up relations intact. I strongly believe that more than the high priced occasions what matters the most is how well we keep up friends and family which wouldn’t depend on the cost of events.

Firstly making marry is by default one of the most important aspects in one’s life. In fact happenings like for example wedding brings many far of people near. As rightly said marriage is not between just the bride and the groom but it is that which brings two families together. Hence it happens to mean that such days can make us love more, care more, it is not only physical union but we get connected spiritually and emotionally.

On the other hand, when we speak about emotional and spiritual connection what remains unseen is the expense that is billed at the background. For families who are capable of spending recklessly will never understand what it would mean to the relatively low household group who burn the midnight oil. However I personally feel people engage in spending lots of money in celebrating such events which is unnecessary and can be enjoyed in their own surroundings.

To conclude, find ways to enjoy and celebrate that can be less priced and yet could do the same work what big fat events do. Making use of what one has and being satisfied is helpful than spending and creating a burden for self and once own family.

[Abhinav]

Neha, since the beginning till the end, you have made an attempt to increase the complexity of the sentences, however, it did not pan out the way you expected. Most of the sentences that you’re joined with multiple cohesive devices, fell out of the meanings. In the initial phase I would like you to make simpler sentences so that your grammatical accuracy is maintained. This alone will stop you from getting a good band score in writing.

There are plenty of grammatical errors which are of course the result of complex sentence framing. Which I assume will decrease gradually with a little more practice. A general recommendation based on your writing skills and grammatical errors, you will be benefited with a personal training in English.

I’m not giving you a score because that would be unfair, and might demotivate you.

[Nilesh]

The people loves to celebrate special moments of their life. Each individual has different concept of celebration and mainly it varies as per resources available with them. In my opinion, celebration is must to cherish memories associated with that particular event but i am against of spending tones of money on such events.

Celebration of the events is one of the most important aspect of individual life. These are the few precious moment in our life which would like celebrate with our family, our friends & best wishers. For example, Wedding is not just belongs to couple but it is creates the bonds between two families and relatives. This the platform where relatives get interacted with each other and get easily mingle with each other. This kind of celebrations are significant to develop bonding between two different families, two different cultures.

On the other hand, there are few creatures believes that spending lot of money on such occasions will create influence of them in our materialistic society. According to such minded people, this is the event where they can show the money power to others & to prove this false statement they waste lot of money on jewellaries, on foods, on clothing which is eventually ruined off after few hours. Sometimes marriage cause the exploitation of bride family as groom family enforced them to spent lot of money on embellishments, fire works, music and several unwanted stuff which resulted in severe economical crisis to bride family. Sometimes they take loans from banks to fund this event which absolutely inhuman.

In conclusion, celebrations are must in our life to make our specious moments more special but wasting hard earn money on such events to make others happy is definitely not supported.

[vivek]

Events are important however some people spend lot of money on celebration of such events. In my opinion people are spending more money on these events than required.

Undoubtedly people are spending too much money on these events, Especially evets like: wedding & birthdays. Events are important even id it is of small cause or as important as wedding but spending too much money is unjustifiable. People can curb their spending and can use the money in a better way. For example, they can save the money for future use or can spent on social cause.

People are spending too much money to showcase their status and also try to please target audience with their lavish celebration. It also increases unconscious competition in celebrating such events. If i want to celebrate an event, i will spend the money as per my budget and try to save some money for any add-hoc event in future. There are instances when people spent more than they are capable of and as a result they are in huge debt before even they realize. As mentioned earlier that events are important but spending too much money will never going to increase the importance of event, even a small celebration is enough.

In conclusion, Spending too much money on events is illogical and people should spend as per their budget. There are lot of ways to celebrate an event and spending too much money is not the only way.

[vivek]

Events are important however some people spend lot of money on celebration of such events. In my opinion people are spending more money on these events than required.

Undoubtedly people are spending too much money on these events, Especially evets like: wedding & birthdays. Events are important even if it is for small cause or as important as wedding but spending too much money is unjustifiable. People can curb their spending and can use the money in a better way. For example, they can save the money for future use or can spend on social cause.

People are spending too much money to showcase their status and also try to please target audience with their lavish celebration. It also increases unconscious competition in celebrating such events. If I want to celebrate an event, I will spend the money as per my budget and try to save some money for any add-hoc event in future. There are instances when people spent more than they are capable of and as a result they are in huge debt before even they realize. As mentioned earlier that events are important but spending too much money will never going to increase the importance of event, even a small celebration is enough.

In conclusion, Spending too much money on events is illogical and people should spend as per their budget. There are lot of ways to celebrate an event and spending too much money is not the only way.

[Abhinav]

Introduction could have been a little longer (most of it is only related to the money not the importance of celebrating such a Events)

Task achievement incomplete. You did not talk about the importance of celebrating such Events in details. This alone takes away 25% of your score.

Sentence construction has got enough variety, complexity. There are a few grammatical errors noted. Lack of lexical resources..

Band Score: 3.5/6.0

[vivek]

Thank you @Abhinav

[Aishwarya]

While some people love celebrating special occasions with loved ones ,others believe it is a waste of resources and is an unnecessary nuisance.Although celebrations are an opportunity to fill one’s heart with jubilation , still it has become a way for people to throw expensive parties and gloat about it .In my opinion society needs to put an end to these sumptuous merrymakings .

Jollymakings are human way of expressing gratitude and sharing exuberance with near and dear ones.Not only does these merriments cause release of endorphins and a feeling of contentment ,but also bring people closer .For example ,people meet after long years dancing together for functions like marriage and birthday parties ,which become remarkable memories.Overall functions bring happiness by bringing people together and giving them a chance to reconcile .

The amount of money people borrow to throw lavish parties can actually be used to secure their future.Thus ,it’s becoming an unwanted evil effecting the peace of life and adding to the stress of throwing ornate and luxurious ceremonies.These traditions to spend hefty sumof money should be quashed ,absolving people’s need to show off expensive parties at the cost of genuine needs . Not only will this keep in check the growing toxic materialism but also actually promote the notion of simple living and high thinking .For example ,Dia Mirza a well-known face of Bollywood kept the expenses of a marriage at bare minimum.

In conclusion although throwing a celebration party for special occasions fills people with felicity but these functions are becoming more of a stage for showoff therefore i believe that celebrations have lost the reason they were held and are becoming stressful.

[Aishwarya]

While some people love celebrating special occasions with loved ones ,others believe it is a waste of resources and is an unnecessary nuisance.Although celebrations are an opportunity to fill one’s heart with jubilation , still it has become a way for people to throw expensive parties and gloat about it .In my opinion society needs to put an end to these sumptuous merrymakings .

Jollymakings are human way of expressing gratitude and sharing exuberance with near and dear ones.Not only does these merriments cause release of endorphins and a feeling of contentment ,but also bring people closer .For example ,people meet after long years dancing together for functions like marriage and birthday parties ,which become remarkable memories.Overall functions bring happiness by bringing people together and giving them a chance to reconcile .

The amount of money people borrow to throw lavish parties can actually be used to secure their future.Thus ,it’s becoming an unwanted evil effecting the peace of life and adding to the stress of throwing ornate and luxurious ceremonies.These traditions to spend hefty sum of money should be quashed ,absolving people’s need to show off expensive parties at the cost of genuine needs . Not only will this keep in check the growing toxic materialism but also actually promote the notion of simple living and high thinking .For example ,Dia Mirza a well-known face of Bollywood kept the expenses of her marriage at bare minimum.

In conclusion although throwing a celebration party for special occasions fills people with felicity but these functions are becoming more of a stage for showoff therefore I believe that celebrations have lost the reason they were held for and are becoming stressful task.

[Vaibhav]

People certainly love to celebrate events and occasions of life as it lifts their spirit of life, but this also bring along some financial obligations, and in order to make celebrations unquestionable, majority of people fails to keep check on expenditure, and consequently end up spending hefty sum of money which sometimes they can hardly afford.

I stand in solidarity with the notion of celebrations, they are as significant in life as any other basic ingredient of life. Celebrations not only cheer up the hosts but also delight the invited guests as it also act as platform for social gatherings, where people love to receive each other with warmth, exchange greetings and connect with each other’s families. For instance, people are jubilant ahead of the approaching festive and wedding seasons as they are excited to meet their friends, families and relatives.

Admittedly, at times people get extravagant when it comes to spending on celebrations, although they plan their budgets well, yet they fail to stick to their planned budgets due to gruelling social pressure to make it grand and status quo, sometimes they are even compelled to borrow money in order to cover extra expenses. Thus, they lose their wealth which they accumulated over years. As a matter of fact, most of the personal loans are also being opted during the famous wedding seasons.

To sum up, celebrations are significant and we should strive to celebrate more, however, we should be cautious with expenses and meticulously plan finances to avoid any over expenditure.