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  • WRITING TASK 2: POSITIVE NEGATIVE ESSAY QUESTION

  • Anureet Sekhon

    Member
    July 21, 2021 at 4:05 PM

    Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

  • Jasmeet

    Member
    July 21, 2021 at 6:46 PM

    With the increasing popularity of internet, many people are spending most of their time socializing online instead of having face to face interaction these days. In my opinion this is a sign of negative development as it indicates fear of facing the reality and lack of confidence.

    The main negative impact of contacting people online is that confidence level becomes low, and it leads to fear and shyness. People hesitate to interact in real and as a result they keep themselves busy in the virtual world. Due to less communication with those who lives with them and nearby, the personal and social life also gets affected. Secondly, people become prey to the plethora of fake accounts by sharing their personal details on the web which sometimes result into blackmailing and cheating, therefore, living a stressful and depressed life.

    Another aspect of online interaction is leading to various health related problems. Obesity has become a great concern these days in youngsters due to constant and long hours sitting on computers. Other issues which are encountered by people are eye strain and back pain which may affect their performance at work. For instance, number of youngsters are becoming fat due to the lack of physical activity and sedentary lifestyle.

    In conclusion, socializing through online platform has many consequences such as cheating, blackmailing and depressed life which leads to negative development of a person. Hence, the judicial use of social websites and regular monitoring by parents is necessary for the betterment of individual as well as society.

    • Anureet Sekhon

      Member
      July 22, 2021 at 11:10 AM

      Introduction: written nicely

      BP 1: contacting: communicating with

      in real- reality

      who lives- live

      nearby- in neighborhood

      the plethora- a plethora

      result- results

      therefore, living- therefore, they live

      BP 2: on- in front of

      due to the – due to lack

      leads to negative- may lead to

      the judicious- judicious

      BAND SCORE: 5/6 Keep it up!

      • Jasmeet

        Member
        July 22, 2021 at 5:15 PM

        Thank you mam

  • Sri

    Member
    July 21, 2021 at 8:37 PM
    • Anureet Sekhon

      Member
      July 22, 2021 at 11:18 AM

      INTRODUCTION: work on paraphrase

      friends through online- online

      write a thesis statement with main points

      BP 1: rephrase the first sentence

      the everyday status- updating status everyday

      in- on social media platforms

      facebook- Facebook

      the unknown- unknown

      track down- to track down

      kidnaps- kidnapping has

      socialisation- incorrect word choice

      the less…- rephrase it as it has grammatical errors

      Conclusion: sum up the main points

      BAND SCORE: 3/6 Keep writing!

  • shrestha subramanian

    Member
    July 22, 2021 at 10:57 AM
    • Anureet Sekhon

      Member
      July 22, 2021 at 12:43 PM

      Introduction- paraphrase clearly

      Connecting through online- connecting online

      Thesis statement is very clear

      BP1: majority of- a majority of

      Youngster- youngsters

      can able- is able

      One clear example…- rephrase this sentence

      BP 2

      Led- lead

      Time family- time with family

      Go out- went out

      Meet – met

      Affecting- it affects the

      Our- their

      Correlative comparative is correctly used

      Depression, anxiety- depression and anxiety

      Conclusion-

      Show- have

      Effects- affects

      implimented- implied

      Of certain age limits- for certain age groups

      While- and

      Band Score: 3/6 Keep working!

    • Anureet Sekhon

      Member
      July 22, 2021 at 2:08 PM

      Effect is correct

  • shrestha subramanian

    Member
    July 22, 2021 at 11:04 AM

    Sarabjeet

  • Sarabjeet Kaur

    Member
    July 22, 2021 at 11:05 AM
    • Anureet Sekhon

      Member
      July 22, 2021 at 12:53 PM

      Introduction- also problems later on life- rephrase it

      BP 1: that can arise that people socialising- that can arise when people socialize

      Whereas- include this clause with the previous sentence

      reserved- secluded

      BP 2: as a result people will get depressed- you have already included this point in the previous paragraph

      Write a complete body paragraph 2. Dont leave line in between for second point which started from secondly

      fake information- identities

      Trap in- get trapped in

      Monitoring it- monitor it

      Protecting- protect

      Conclusion- sum up main points

      Band Score:3/6 Keep working!

  • Akshay Kumar Sharma

    Member
    July 24, 2021 at 4:50 PM

    Answer

  • Akshay Kumar Sharma

    Member
    July 25, 2021 at 3:35 PM
    • Anureet Sekhon

      Member
      July 26, 2021 at 8:30 AM

      Introduction- variety- a variety

      Do not include this essay will line. Instead write a clear thesis statement incorporating the main points

      BP 1: has play- has played

      ease of communication- rephrase or write providing ease of communication

      Intutiveness- intuitiveness

      Of their popularity- for their popularity

      and anytime- and at any time

      For an instance- For instance

      have now- has now

      BP 2: the online- online

      By meeting- Meeting

      Chatting them- chatting with them

      the identity- identity

      Issues- issue

      became- become

      Issues in virtual- issue

      Interactions- interaction

      chances- chance

      Conclusion- have their- has their

      Judicially- judiciously

      Band Score: 3/6 Keep writing!

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