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WRITING TASK 2: POSITIVE NEGATIVE ESSAY QUESTION
Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?
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14 Replies
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With the increasing popularity of internet, many people are spending most of their time socializing online instead of having face to face interaction these days. In my opinion this is a sign of negative development as it indicates fear of facing the reality and lack of confidence.
The main negative impact of contacting people online is that confidence level becomes low, and it leads to fear and shyness. People hesitate to interact in real and as a result they keep themselves busy in the virtual world. Due to less communication with those who lives with them and nearby, the personal and social life also gets affected. Secondly, people become prey to the plethora of fake accounts by sharing their personal details on the web which sometimes result into blackmailing and cheating, therefore, living a stressful and depressed life.
Another aspect of online interaction is leading to various health related problems. Obesity has become a great concern these days in youngsters due to constant and long hours sitting on computers. Other issues which are encountered by people are eye strain and back pain which may affect their performance at work. For instance, number of youngsters are becoming fat due to the lack of physical activity and sedentary lifestyle.
In conclusion, socializing through online platform has many consequences such as cheating, blackmailing and depressed life which leads to negative development of a person. Hence, the judicial use of social websites and regular monitoring by parents is necessary for the betterment of individual as well as society.
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Introduction: written nicely
BP 1: contacting: communicating with
in real- reality
who lives- live
nearby- in neighborhood
the plethora- a plethora
result- results
therefore, living- therefore, they live
BP 2: on- in front of
due to the – due to lack
leads to negative- may lead to
the judicious- judicious
BAND SCORE: 5/6 Keep it up!
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Thank you mam
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Effect is correct
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Sarabjeet
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Introduction- also problems later on life- rephrase it
BP 1: that can arise that people socialising- that can arise when people socialize
Whereas- include this clause with the previous sentence
reserved- secluded
BP 2: as a result people will get depressed- you have already included this point in the previous paragraph
Write a complete body paragraph 2. Dont leave line in between for second point which started from secondly
fake information- identities
Trap in- get trapped in
Monitoring it- monitor it
Protecting- protect
Conclusion- sum up main points
Band Score:3/6 Keep working!
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Answer
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Introduction- variety- a variety
Do not include this essay will line. Instead write a clear thesis statement incorporating the main points
BP 1: has play- has played
ease of communication- rephrase or write providing ease of communication
Intutiveness- intuitiveness
Of their popularity- for their popularity
and anytime- and at any time
For an instance- For instance
have now- has now
BP 2: the online- online
By meeting- Meeting
Chatting them- chatting with them
the identity- identity
Issues- issue
became- become
Issues in virtual- issue
Interactions- interaction
chances- chance
Conclusion- have their- has their
Judicially- judiciously
Band Score: 3/6 Keep writing!
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