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The bar chart depicts the seal, whale, and dolphin population data in Gormez straits from 2006 to 2018. At first glance, it can be seen that the dolphin population has been rising for the past (throughout the period of) 12 years whilst, the population of seals and whales has been fluctuating (kept fluctuating) from 2006 till 2018.
In 2006, the Dolphin population stood lowest, it was ( at almost) less than fifty percent of the seal population which was around 42. Furthermore, the difference in population for dolphin and seal population in 2010 was reduced to around 3. By 2018, the dolphin population ended up standing more than 50 thus transcending the seal population which stood near 45.
A varied trend is observed for the seal and whale population over the 12 years. Although the seal population has risen ( rose) from about 42 in 2006 to 45 in 2018, significant growth of about 34 could be perceived in the dolphin population from 2006 to 2018. The whale population without much variation ranged between 20 to 30 for all (the) years.
Observations :
Pls see the inaccuracies above in bold with corrections in the brackets.
1. Tense should be past throughout as the graph is in the past.
2. In 2006, the Dolphin population stood lowest, it was ( at almost) less – In this sentence ‘it was’ is not required and should be omitted.
Feedback:
Well attempted! The response achieves the task because the data from the bar chart is selected and summarized appropriately. Also, it can be seen that comparisons are made, which you are told to do in the rubric. The comparisons are clear from language of comparison and contrast. The summary is also well-organized. The task is well structured with good number of cohesive devices however Grammar errors especially use of incorrect tenses limits the score.
Band Score : 1.5/3
