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* ‘communication skills’ is almost always used with the plural ‘skills’
* ” they know the importance of team” — I would have used “they would come to know the importance of” or “they would learn the importance of”
* ‘using social media that leads to health problems’ –> ‘and that leads to’ would make the sentence better. It would also be possible to connect these two clauses with a different cohesive device.
* ‘good qualities from each others that necessary for one’s development.’ (good qualities that are necessary – good qualities from each others that are necessary for one’s development )* Task response : I feel like the ‘your view’ part was not properly expressed. Check out the sample structure I shared.
Score: 4.5/6
Although there are not many issues with this essay, there is still some room for improvement.