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  • Shahbaz

    Administrator
    October 27, 2021 at 3:43 PM
    50 Network Points
    Activity Points 7690

    * “has been a matter of concern”
    * “not just for some developing as well as developed countries” (not just for some developing countries, but for some developed ones as well)
    * “In Addition” (unnecessary capitalization)
    * “it’s citizens” should be “its citizens” (look up ‘it’s’ vs ‘its’
    * In the second body paragraph, a comma after ‘state’
    * ‘and also counselling the citizens…”
    * The conclusion was well-written.
    * “not cooperative to lodge a complaint” ( I think it should be : not cooperative when it comes to lodging…)
    * Paragraphing : It doesn’t make sense to me why there had to be two separate paragraphs discussing the solution.

    Similarly, the first body paragraph tried to include three separate points. While there is technically no clear-cut limit to the number of points you can include, I feel that with anything more than two, we end up not being able to expand them properly.

    4.5/6

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