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Feedback : Be careful with subject -verb agreement – The rate of crimes are (is) increasing
Marjor (Major)
Make use of cohesive devices to make the information more clear (to show contrast or to support the details)
opening statement of body paragraph 2, could be more effective (as it is what other section of society thinks)
We can aware such people ( such people can be made aware) – avoid we, our, us , you etc. until and unless your opinion is being asked as it tends to informal tone.
It is mentioned in the introduction that writer agrees on former statement , however conclusion is in accordance with latter one.
Work on sentence structure
No examples found
Band : 2.5/6
