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  • Shahbaz

    November 14, 2021 at 4:37 PM

    * “that you will be taking care of my home while I will be away”
    (while I am away…)

    We use the simple present tense with some time expressions like ‘before, when, until etc. ‘

    ” I will give it to you when you give me the money” ( not ‘when you will give me..’)

    “I won’t give it you until you give me the money” (not ‘until you will give me…’)

    * ‘for a business tour’ is not exactly wrong. But, ‘on a business tour’ is more commonly used.

    * ‘While I would be away’ (While I am away)

    * ‘feed him….with cold chicken’ (we don’t need any prepositions such as ‘with’ with ‘feed’. ‘feed him cold chicken’ is sufficient.

    * Last paragraph : a full stop seems missing after ‘care of my home’

    * Apart from these errors, the language was very natural and the tone was appropriate . The bullet points were developed very well. This is a well-written letter.


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