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  • Falak

    December 15, 2021 at 11:09 PM

    which allows (allow) students to

    On the other hand , from my point of view , (you are not suppose to discuss your own view in second body paragraph , you can dedicate a distinct paragraph for this or present in conclusion itself)

    after concentration(concentrating) on a heavy (academic) subjects ,

    .Art would help to develop creativity (creative) thinking,

    In conclusion, despite some drawbacks above (I would suggest better usage of words , as essay doesn’t demand pros and cons but discuss both views and your opinion

    Feedback : Introduction and conclusion both could be more impressive.

    Band: 3/6

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