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The line graph depicts (Line graphs depict – two graphs you are referring here)
number of workers employed were (was)
beginning then (than) when the year approaches to its end.
a sudden drop is (has been observed) seen in amount of steel production
After which a sharp fall of workers were (was) seen
then the number remains (remained) constant
where it shows (showed) the little upward
Feedback : Grammatical accuracy is really important ; pay attention to the points mentioned above. Be careful with the Tense (Past, present, future). Word limit should be 150-170 . Make use of varied sentence structure to improve cohesion and coherence.
Band: 1.5/3
Keep writing!!
