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now a days (nowadays)
I partially think peers (pupils/students) showcase ; peers means a person of same age group or position
We will go into detailed (details)further
they may loose control if they did (do) not get the reward,
“Everything depends on students (students’) behaviour
. If the students (student) behaves
Feedback : somehow the essay is mentioning the factors that fetch him rewards and punishments , but question is about do you think they perform better when rewarded than punished?. Clearly , the body paragraphs have not been developed fully. No example found. Monotonous and casual phrases has been used , try to stick with formal writing style . Introduction is mentioning about partial agreement but the body paragraphs are in favor of punishment.
Band: 2.5/6
