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  • Falak

    March 20, 2022 at 5:26 PM

    now a days (nowadays)

    I partially think peers (pupils/students) showcase ; peers means a person of same age group or position

    We will go into detailed (details)further

    they may loose control if they did (do) not get the reward,

    “Everything depends on students (students’) behaviour

    . If the students (student) behaves

    Feedback : somehow the essay is mentioning the factors that fetch him rewards and punishments , but question is about do you think they perform better when rewarded than punished?. Clearly , the body paragraphs have not been developed fully. No example found. Monotonous and casual phrases has been used , try to stick with formal writing style . Introduction is mentioning about partial agreement but the body paragraphs are in favor of punishment.

    Band: 2.5/6

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