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Yes, I completely agree with the above statement. (This statement is redundant, you need to put thesis statement in introduction itself)
they had find (found)
Taking everything into consideration, i want to conclude ( To conclude, I believe…)
There has been an effort to use complex sentences, but unfortunately the usage of “which” is only adopted. There is huge list of conjunctions and cohesive devices which can create cohesion among sentences meaningfully. Lexical resources is another area that requires attention.
Keep writing!!
Band: 3/6
