-
720
Network Points
Activity Points
31710
introducing it in students (‘) early career
only on (those) products which are essential,
so he invests money on (in) stock market
now it is (his) passive (additional- as “passive” has already been used) source of income.
effort to make lengthier sentences has been clearly observed. there is clear overall progression. Well established cohesion . But still expecting improvement in sentence range variation and lexical resources.
Keep writing!!
Band: 3.5/6 .