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“I” needs to be capital throughout
“duty” , “individuals” – repeatedly used
there are many reason(s)
there are many reason why some individulas (individuals) say that it is the duty of of the goverment (government) – avoid copying language from the question
the governments should enacts (enact)
factories sometimes dump (release) dirty water,
common water source(s)
contribution to protect there (their) surroundings and neighbourhood.
h individual may have a (an) important
if (only) the government
feedback : Make use of cohesive devices, sentence structure needs to be improved. Grammatical errors are there. Punctuation is important.
Band: 2.5/6
