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high school curriculam (curriculum)
To commence with (,)this will help the students
this will help them in their higher studies for social project in which work you have done accordingly (meaning is not justified)
For Example (,) I personally volunteered for 2 months
However (Moreover,) this will develop a good friendly environment with each other -faulty use of cohesive device.
various initiative(s) by organising events
To conclude (,) that doing community service
but also professional life also. (repetitive usage of words, distorting the meaning)
Feedback : Lack of lexical resources. Be careful with the usage of punctuation. Sentence structure needs strong consideration.
Keep writing!!
Band: 2/6
