-
offspring(s).
repeated use of “also” in introduction leading to monotonous structure.
parent would show agreement
would never utilize it properly.
they would soon get another.
where he would....
a person would not be able to adjust…
he would not respect a
he would lose – repeated structure throughout the essay.
Feedback : Task achievement , coherence and attempt to use lexical resources can be easily observed and appreciated. There is improvement , but there is requirement to work more rigorously on sentence structure
Keep writing!!
band: 3/6