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  • isha

    Administrator
    May 30, 2022 at 1:06 PM

    Feedback:

    Intro para:

    Nowadays, it is believed that commercials often influence consumers’ decisions to buy a product. On the other hand, few speculate that marketing disrupts one’s way of choosing and holds off the decision to buy the products. (This essay will discuss the pros and cons of the commercials.) This essay will discuss both the viewpoints in detail.

    – This essay is not asking about pros and cons but if adverts persuade us or not. Thats why its better to write discuss both the viewpoints.


    BP1:

    The ones who feel that commercials play an important role in our lives, tend to explore the nature of human emotions. In this regard, commercial experts attempt to persuade people that a specific product will help them bring about a change in their day-to-day work, thereby leading consumers to purchase their products. Marketing executives manipulate humans’ emotions to sell their products. For instance, the Samsung phone company persuades many customers by comparing the specifications of the product with other ordinary products of the same class. This kind of approach is considered to be successful in increasing sales growth in many sectors, such as cosmetics.

    – Your opening line is unclear in context with the rest of the paragraph.

    BP2:

    …..One more reason is the pop-ads which come onto the screen while working, which enrage people with busy schedules and, therefore, look at these promotions. ( and disrupts their momentum.)


    Conclusion:

    Conclusion is incomplete, summarize all the ideas along with clear viewpoint that you agree with.

    – Overall ,nice attempt.

    -Clarity is very important. You need to complete all parts of the question.

    Band Score – 3.5/6

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