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  • Falak

    June 26, 2022 at 11:07 PM

    repetitive usage of words ( environment

    govt. (government) – avoid contractions and short forms

    But (I believe) every citizen is responsible – Thesis statement needs to be more assertive

    Lack of cohesive devices

    some of them has (have) no

    . To solve this issue govt. has so spread awareness (This sentence is body paragraph 2 is creating doubts on cohesion, may be it requires further explanation)

    netizens (not an appropriate word as per the context) rather use residents, inhabitants

    Need to work on vocabulary and sentence structure.

    Keep writing!!

    Band: 2.5/6

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