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service should become (an) essential part of high school education
Involving (Involvement) in community service makes the students
moral standards and crimes (crime rate)
where the academy (educational institutions/ authorities) made
In addition to that (,) they were also involved
fostering this (these) good habits
repeated usage of words ( society, philanthropist etc. , try to use synonyms)
Lack of dependent clauses , hence complex structures.
Keep writing!!