-
In introduction, thesis statement is missing
this activity which ultimately causing lot of problems like plastic packaging is a (one of the serious) health hazards for our natural habitat,
it will affect those companies who (which) are producing the packaged goods
word “goods” could be replaced by : commodities, products
by people who believes (believe) in the sustainable development
Hence, it’s the consumers ultimately which could make a difference towards the usage of packaged goods. (here the word ” ultimately” directing that consumers only can control this practice and hence , it is contradicting the conclusion, which is stating both are equally responsible)
Example in B.P 1, would be appreciated
Keep writing!!
Band: 3.5/6
