AbhinavAdministratorSeptember 29, 2021 at 10:11 PM
This is your first writing task and I am aware that you have not been told about the proper structure. I will be just explaining a few points.
You have a very good flow of points. I couldn’t find any grammatical errors which is an excellent thing.
The structure has already been shared with you. Please look at it and I’m sure that you will be able to understand it pretty clearly and next time you will perform exceptionally.