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* “positives and negative effects on lives of ” (positive and negative effects on the lives of…)
* “this might result to have detremental ..” (this might result in detrimental impact…)
* “can lead to wither away more hobbies” (can lead to the withering away of…. [‘wither away’ might not be apt in this context)
* Some problems with the use of articles.
* Word choice and sentence structure, although free from serious errors, can still be improved.
4/6
