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* ‘They have physical problems like obese’ ( like obesity)
* ‘at night’ is a more natural time marker than ‘during night’
‘ work during night.’ (work at night)
* ‘to conduct medical camp’ (a medical camp)Score: 4.25/6
It seems like your sentence structure and punctuation have improved. Problems with word choice are perhaps the most limiting factor.
“fashion of people working” “Foremost, to overcome”
Some of these word choices sound a bit strange. The same idea can be expressed in a better and more natural way.
Close-reading of well-written essays and articles is an excellent way to expand your vocabulary. Read articles and essays on IELTS topics such as health, tourism, parenting etc.
Instead of reading IELTS sample essays online, I recommend reading articles on good publications. For example, look up ‘night shifts disadvantages’ and see what comes up. When you read the articles, write down words and expressions that appear very often. There would be a lot of words that you know very well. However, you probably never use them. Bringing such words into our ‘active vocabulary’ is much easier than learning completely new words.
Whenever you learn a new word, make sure you do the following things.
1. Look up and read its definition in a good dictionary.
2. Find sentence examples of that word. You can do this by googling ‘word + sentence examples’.The best way to learn a word is to see it used in many context.
