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Paraphrasing in introduction, should reflect all the components mentioned in question ( animals)
Like humans (,) animals also have feeling – punctuation is important
it had a huge amount of earning prospect and we humans can do anything to earn money if it involves huge amount , (Sentence structure could be improved to avoid excessive use of same phrases and words)
spain and mexico (Spain and Mexico) – proper nouns
As children learns (learn) – subject- verb agreement
It is important to use cohesive devices like “In conclusion,” while writing conclusion to increase readability , and conclusion should not talk about any new aspect (e.g : environmental imbalance)
Follow the IELTS essay writing pattern where two body paragraphs are must to develop the required word limit.
Keep writing!!
Band: 2.5/6
