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In my opinion, children should be encouraged to become more competitive, so that it could help them navigate life better. Many aspects of life might cause a child to be burdened with pressure. However, such problems could be avoided with good parenting. Children must learn to comprehend that indolence should be overcome with competitiveness. For example, on the Ellen show, a young boy recalled that competitiveness helped him to conquer life. Thus, such a positive attitude could be portrayed through competitions.
However, there are also certain problems associated with competitiveness. Competitiveness and consciousness go hand in hand to explain that one becomes more competitive, one also becomes more aware of their surroundings and environment. Hence, psychologists have also witnessed several cases that recollected how hostile some children behave when they are faced with failure. For instance, Michigan College had conducted an experiment that concluded that sometimes children could be belligerent due to failure and unhealthy competitions are to blame. Such incidents throw light on the importance of healthy competitions.
To conclude, the need for instilling a healthy sense of competition is decipherable. Competitiveness is like a double-sided coin with which one must be quite careful. Hence, competitiveness should be embedded in children but not at the cost of moral values and virtues.
Feedback: Approach is acceptable, but unnecessary repetition were found in linking words & related words highlighted in bold, need to work on few more sentence types means grammatical range as found really less & thought process to avoid of being marked under the category called memorization highlighted in bold.
Band: 5.5
