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WRITING TASK 2: DIRECT QUESTION ESSAY
Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness.
Do you think people can be happy without much money?
What other factors contribute to happiness?
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8 Replies
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There is no doubt that without money survival is difficult, but it would be wrong to say that money is the most crucial factor in stimulating happiness. In my opinion, people can live their life joyfully without deep pockets. Job satisfaction and family support are the different reasons which brings happiness.
Money cannot define one’s happiness. It is not necessary that people with lot of money are always happy as they might always be in fear of losing that money. The actual happiness comes from within the soul. The more the money, higher the social insecurity. People can live a happy and healthy life even if they don’t have adequate financial resources. For instance, people in developing countries enjoys stronger family bonds and simple life as compared to the developed nations.
Other factors which contribute happiness are job satisfaction, family support and helping each other in need. No matter how much the salary is, if a person is not satisfied with the task he is performing, he can’t be defined as a happy man. In addition to this, the role of caring and loving family plays a vital role in the person’s life. For instance, if something is earning enough for himself and he doesn’t have his family around due to some issues, he won’t be happy either in that case. Lastly, some people find their real happiness in helping others in need. They feel a sense of satisfaction and peace of mind.
In conclusion, money can off course bring happiness but for shorter period, for long lasting happiness job satisfaction and family are of paramount importance. One can cheerfully live his life if judiciously spend his capital.
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INTRODUCTION: paraphrase the question statement
without deep- without having deep
which brings- which can bring
BP1: lot of- a lot of
higher the, the higher the social
enjoys- enjoy
BP2: Contributes- can contribute towards
something- someone
CONCLUSION: offcourse- ofcourse- informal instead use surely, definitely or indeed
shorter- a short
if judiciously- if he judiciously spends his money
capital is used in business
BAND SCORE: 4.5/6 Good. Keep writing!
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INTRODUCTION- people, believe- punctuation mistake- remove comma
contributing to- that contribute to
I believe that- In my opinion- clearly shows your opinion
BP1: supplies- condition
For an instance, For instance
guy-highly informal- person
high economy- high economic growth
have- has
BP2: healthiness- health and society
deriving happiness- that spreads happiness
lead go- lead
Conclusion- begin it with the conclusion linker
vitals- vital elements
directed to- towards
BAND SCORE: 3/6
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Some people believe that money plays a vital role in instilling and promoting happiness. However, in my opinion, there are other reasons apart from the money that can make people happy like one’s physical health and job satisfaction.
I completely agree that people who lead a simple and meaningful life can be very contended. If the person has a sense of purpose, a reason to wake up every day, and provides for their family, then they will be in my opinion be the happiest person. Although money can buy you mostly anything, it is sadly not the case. Just like one’s health which cannot be purchased or restored once lost. Happiness will come automatically if the person is mentally and physically fit. Without their health, they cannot enjoy their wealth and cannot travel and see new places just as when they were fitter and younger. A different segment of people are business people who show off their wealth to others but they may have many problems and tensions along with social insecurities that can cause them to be unhappy.
Other factors that contribute to happiness are people’s close family members and friends. People are social beings and if they are surrounded by their close family and friends at the time of need, they can think and act properly. Their ups and downs are supported by their close kins and the advice and moral support they receive can go a long way in instilling happiness in their hearts. This goes also for celebrations like birthdays, if their loved ones are present, they can enjoy their company and will be more elated. Another factor that causes happiness is job satisfaction. If the person is not happy at heart with their jobs, then the very reason for living is not there. A sense of purpose and a feeling to be productive and accomplish something is there in every person. And if this purpose is absent, it can cause stress and can lead to unhappiness.
To conclude, although money can bring joy to the person for complete true happiness the person must have a purposeful life inculcated by job satisfaction together with sound health.
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There is no doubt that money is becoming the most crucial thing in the materialistic world. Some people believe that it shares a major contribution towards happiness. In my opinion, a man can be happy without much cash and other elements such as family, friends and good health promote joy.
To embark on, there is an old saying that happiness is the state of mind. One cannot buy contentment with cash. A person’s greed for money can never be satisfied as they want to earn more and more. There should be satisfaction in one’s life. Moreover, some people are happy with their low income as they are able to pay for their domestic needs. For example, the rich class suffers from loneliness and depression more than middle-sections of the society. If wealth has had that much significance, than these people never feel like this.
As moving further, there are other elements that makes people cherish. The support from the family and friends is the biggest pleasure in life. As the reason behind, is that the individuals always seek their family’s assistance to deal with the difficult situations in their lives. Besides that, the another considerable factor is having healthy mind and body. A person would remain cheerful and energetic if he himself sounds healthy. For instance, seven out of ten actors and actresses undergo rehabilitation to overcome anxiety and to find tranquillity.
To recapitulate, money is important to live a comfortable life and also a key factor in promoting happiness. I believe that individuals can be happy without much money as this could lead to greed, however, other factors such as fitness and family pillar contribute in keeping individuals to stay jovial.
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Introduction- Paraphrase question statement clearly
shares a major contribution- contributes greatly to happiness
Cash- money
Promote- promotes
BP1: To emabark on- on the one hand
The state- a state
Never feel- would never feel
BP2: As moving further- On the other hand
makes people cherish- can make people happy
As the reason behind, is that- comma is incorrectly used – Start with The reason behind this is that
The another- another
Conclusion- Family pillar- supportive family
Band Score-3/6 Keep Writing!
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Some people think to lead a happy life money is the most essential factor. In my opinion there is no relationship between money and happiness. In this essay let us see without money can we lead a happy life. Also, let us see the other factors which contribute to happiness.
To begin with, money can make people for certain scenario. Without money people can be happy when their basic needs are fulfilled. The boundary of happiness varies from person to person. There are people who are satisfied with their low income also there are people who are not satisfied with their high income. When the standard of livings of people are increased, the boundary of the happiness are getting wide. Even though millionaires have more money than others, they have their tough time too.
In addition to it, to live a happy life peace is vital. If there is no conflict with their neighbors, relatives and colleagues, then people will be happy. To be happy, wealth is also important. Sickness will destroy the earnings of the people. People who think money brings happiness should visit to a hospital. Then they will realize the wealth contributes a lot towards their happiness.
In conclusion, now a days happiness is measured by the photos which people share in their social media. They are in a race to prove that they are richer than others. The more money we have, larger the boundary of happiness will be. Money never satisfies us for happiness. To be happy we must have peace and good wealth.
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