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  • JUBY

    Member
    August 10, 2021 at 12:19 AM

    Overall it’s a good attempt except for certain grammatical errors.

    Appreciate the usage of cohesive words like “on the one hand”, “to begin with” etc.

    Be careful of the article usage. For example: add ‘the’ before population, add ‘the’ before local community

    Found some incorrect usage of prepositions.

    Reduce the use of repetitive words.

    Band score 3/6.

    Best wishes

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