-
The line graph illustrates thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries namely Great Britain, France, Canada, and Sweden between the years 1990 and 1999. Overall it can be seen that Great Britain saw the highest number of thefts throughout the period.
Sweden, France, and Canada had approximately the same number of thefts in the year 1990 but there was a sharp increase in thefts in Sweden from the year 1966 to 1999 and the thefts rose from around 6000 in the year 1990 to nearly 14,000 thefts in the year 1999. While France and Canada showed around the same trend throughout the period.
Great Britain had the highest amount ( number) of thefts of ( among) the other three countries. The number of thefts in 1990 was about 17,000 which increased significantly in the year 1992 and then it showed a downward trend in the year 1993 and from there it again showed a slight increase to about 20,000 thefts in the year 1996 and then it sharply decreased to nearly 16,000 cases which were (was)the lowest for Great Britain.
Observations :
Please see the corrections above in bold.
1. Car thefts has nowhere been mentioned. Should have been written in the introduction.
2. Number of thefts
3. Among the other three countries.
4. Were/was
Feedback:
The main subject of the graph , ie. Car theft has not been mentioned throughout. Language of comparison and contrast has rarely been used. Vocabulary range has been sparingly used with some incorrect usage of words.
Grammar errors of was/ were and prepositions to be seen in the writing.
Band Score : 2/3