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IELTS Essay Writing (people want to become teachers)
Q. These days in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools.
What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?
Use Cohesive Devices:
• In addition, moreover • Further / furthermore
• In conclusion • To summarise
• As a result • As a consequence (of)
• Therefore • Thus • Consequently
• Hence • Due to • Undoubtedly
• Indeed • Obviously
• On the other hand • On the contrary
• Generally • Admittedly
• In fact • Particularly / in particular
• Especially • Clearly
• Importantly • However
• Nevertheless • Nonetheless
• Still • Although / even though
• Though • In contrast (to) / in comparison
• While • Whereas
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4 Replies
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In the contemporary world, everyone wants to learn by a well-qualified teacher, however, very less chooses teaching as their career especially in the schools offering education till secondary level. This essay will discuss about the cause which includes the less income in this profession and will propose possible solution that is by providing them regular bonus and salary hikes.
Although, in this job one only has to work for 6-7 hours which is way less than the working hours of a corporate job where sometimes employees need to work overtime as well, nevertheless, people don’t want to get employed in this sector because of the lower income. For instance, according to a survey conducted at ‘Manipal University’ in India, there were only 32 per 100 students who wanted to become a teacher. Moreover, when asked the reason for not considering it as a career option, they stated that the income is not satisfactory.
To alleviate this problem, one solution that can be consider by the education system is that the employees must be rewarded with bonus, incentives on occasion such as Diwali and there should be hikes in the salary every year based on their performance. Since, there is not much financial growth in this sector, people neglect it but by assuring reasonable pay, this field can attract huge crowd.
To conclude, working in an institution providing education till 10th standard, people are not satisfied with the earnings they get, however if feasible hikes and bonuses are given to them, then this area of professionalism can be chosen by many youngsters.
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Feedback: well approached with good use of cohesive devices, need to work on grammatical errors as found in Introduction, BP 1, & Conclusion. Try to avoid repetition as found “Less” word is used more than one.
Band: 3.5/6
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Nowadays, most of the countries teaching faculties are becoming short especially at the secondary grade schools. The main cause of the shortage is low paid and various solutions for this issue are reward people, offer periodic bonuses, and paying good wages. This essay will describe in detail about the problems and its possible solutions.
Firstly, Teaching profition is a great responsible job, secondary grade education is a basic building block for the further studies for any student life. Unfortunately, many more teachers are not opting to continue their profition because of financial crises. Majority of the school administration is paying low wages to most of the tutors and expecting quality of teaching methods, high skill set and greater output. Due to the increase in prices in the market such as rental, groceries, transportation and entertainment, it is hard to work with low paid salaries and lead life.
Even though the problem exists, school administration and higher management should think about an alternative solution to backfill the positions and minimize the resignations. Periodically teachers should be rewarded for the great work they do, create a healthy competition among the teachers for the better teaching methods and quality of education. Offering bonus on a yearly basis will help most of the tutors to overcome financial hardships. As a best solution school should offer high wages for the teachers based on the skill set, higher skill set people do better job which greatly impacts the student education and helps to grow in their carrier.
In conclusion, though there are some issues in secondary schools, teachers should be provided good salary and facilities for the quality of education to the student. If possible, government also should encourage society especially young people towards the teaching as a carrier for the better education system.
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Feedback: Good attempt but need to work on Related words, sentence formation, Grammatical errors, & use of cohesive devices.
Band: 2/6
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