Tagged: @falak
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Task 2 ( discuss both the views) : University or Job
Posted by Falak on January 4, 2022 at 8:56 AMSome people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
gowthami bommieneni replied 2 months ago 21 Members · 33 Replies -
33 Replies
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJanuary 4, 2022 at 9:52 AMUniversity and college education is considered as the best way to have a successful carrier by some, while others consider getting a job after school is the best way. A University degree is required for some jobs and its importance is increasing daily. Getting a job earlier on will largely increase the work experience of an individual. I consider education is really important.
In some specialized jobs like research, an advanced degree is a must, For some jobs like managerial jobs, the nourishment and interactivity provided by on-campus education can be considered as a great boon. In fact, some companies will not accept your resume without the university or college education present in the resume. Higher education is the only way for some to jumpstart their career, the days especially if they are not on an entrepreneurial path. You can see a great example, Sundar Pichai. He did his BS degree from IIT, later he did MS from Sandford and MBA from Pennsylvania, and currently, he is the CEO of the Alphabet.
On the other hand, some go on to get a job immediately after completing high school, this will help in making the person more responsible and earn money very early on, the duration of the experience the person gain is invaluable, If you take the example of Sundar Pichai, he would have already had a 10-year experience while he completes his education. There are many successful entrepreneurs who did not go to college, Steve Jobs is the biggest name here, who created the most valuable company in the world. But the success rate of such ventures is just 100 to 1. So, a backup plan is always required, education is a great backup plan.
In conclusion, there are two opinions, on one hand, some consider education is necessary for a successful career and others believe going straight to job after school is the best way, Since the entry to the job is becoming more and more restrictive, Education in universities is very important to get into a promising career.
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best way to have a successful carrier (career) by some,
A University degree is required for some jobs and its importance is increasing daily. (Whereas,) Getting a job earlier on will largely increase the work experience of an individual. I consider (University/ acquiring higher qualification before starting work) education is really important.
You can see a great example, (A great example can be observed)
For some jobs like managerial jobs,(roles)
Sandford (Stanford)
If you take the example of (an example of Sunder Pichai can explain this…..)
Feedback : Replacements and substitutes of noun will make writing even more effective (will save you from being repetitive )
Band: 4.5/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJanuary 4, 2022 at 10:32 AMWhile some people believe that pursuing an undergrad degree at university or college leads to a well-to-do career, others believe getting placed as soon as we pass our high school leads to a much better career.
Without a doubt, an undergrad degree brings better career and growth opportunities at a student’s plate. Not only this, it helps students to enhance skills and brush up those learned at school. In addition to that, university brings out the best in a student and eventually boosts the overall development of a child from extra curricular to academics. On top of that, high level institutions give students a platform to interact and socialize with others which clearly helps them to grow more and grab golden opportunities.
On the contrary, some argue that students should directly pursue jobs after high school which in turn helps them to gain more experience and not waste time on useless topics at universities while pursuing a degree. Due to this they are not more a financial burden on their families, not only this they start supporting them financially at the very earliest of their life, Furthermore, they can easily settle just after school following their passion which in turn increases their learning ability with experience. For instance, the renowned motivational speaker Sandeep Maheshwari started following his passion just after high school and set a benchmark for many.
In conclusion, while pursuing a degree at college has ample number of advantages, I strongly believe experience matters over certifications. Hence, anyone can succeed after school if they have the courage and determination to do so
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In introduction , outlining and Thesis statements are missing
Due to this(,) they are not more (no longer) a financial burden on their families,
Example in B.P 1 , is missing
Band : 2.5/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJanuary 4, 2022 at 1:54 PMParaphrasing of Question
Some people argue that studying at a university provides better job and growth prospects while others argue that starting a job immediately after school is a better option.
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJanuary 4, 2022 at 2:06 PMme people thinks that going to a university is more successful while others thinks that getting job after school is important.
Firstly, going to a university provides you more knowledge about the education field you choose. Like if you want to be a doctor then you have to be studying MBBS and in today’s world because of rising competition you have to specialized in that field.
While looking for job after school gives you more experience and pratical skills than just theoretical. And secondly you can be independent rather than relying on parents financially. Like Elon Musk said that studing in school gives enough education to deal with practical life.
So it can be either depending on your choices but according to me it is safe you complete a degree in a field, as it gives you a vast knowledge to the field and it gives you more earning and job opportunity.
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Feedback : Word limit needs to be maintained (250 words) . Answer should be well supported with explanations. Cohesive devices , lexical resources , sentence range these all things will make your essay an effective one.
I would advise to reattempt since it is not fulfilling the requirement as discussed in class.
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJanuary 4, 2022 at 3:26 PMHi,
Please review my essay below :
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eligibility criteria is also increasing (becoming stringent)
theoritical (theoretical)
(in fact) the person can (himself) help his family financially
businessmans (businessmen)
Opinion should be stated in conclusion not the vice-versa, it is always a good idea to reflect your opinion in introduction as will add more coherence and more sync to writing. There is definitely room for improvement in lexical resources.
Band: 3/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJanuary 6, 2022 at 9:46 AMIt is true that some people believe that studying in university/college is much better that getting a job right away after that. The reason for this belief might be because majority of the society goes into a Professional field such as Information Technology , Communication and Software Development. These professions pay a lot more income and requires more knowledge and learning. Also obtaining a university degree shows that the candidate has gained perseverance, passion and commitment from his three to four years of studies and researches he might have taken for Learning. His degree is the convincing proof of his competency. With the growing world and technology, there are many competitive people searching for jobs and very little job openings in the field. Therefore, obtaining a university degree gives the candidate a plus than a person who has fewer certificates/knowledge.
Although People believe that completing a course in an university gives a plus , this type of approach only works in certain fields of Industry. There are still some industries where experience speaks more than a degree. Industries such as media, post production, Teaching, music, dance and a lot more needs experience more to show the world about the talent of the individual. A degree would be helpful for the person to get a job but if the person wants to consistently stay at the job, he/she has to gain hands-on experience and improve their talent to pursue their passion and career. Also at the end of the day, money matters. In some perspective , most people work to meet their own financial needs. Therefor gaining experience through jobs first helps them to be much more successful in their career and life.
In Conclusion, in my opinion getting a job right after school is much better than getting into an university/college. The main reason is that in an university we don’t get to improve our passion or only work towards our goal. We waste a lot of time learning things that are not useful for us to build our career rather we read the syllabus that is already jotted out for everyone. But in a job, we can learn and move towards our goals and passion. Therefore it is best to obtain a job that we are passionate about and make ourselves a successful person.-
It is true that (argued by) some people believe that studying in university/college
Introduction is not up to the mark
Introduction , body paragraphs should be framed as discussed in the class.
At few instances, cohesion is compromised
Conclusion is not supposed to have a new angle , rather summarize your passages
Cohesive devices will enhance the readability.
Band: 2/6
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Learning is a lifetime process, and it has been debatable subject in the society wherein some people believe that studying through college or university education is must after school as it helps in building a successful career while others believe that it is better to go for a job right after school.
In the growing years of students life, the best choice he/she could go for is studying at university or college because it act as boon in their overall development and prepare them to face the real world challenges, also helps them to socialise, become creative, maintaining consistency and self discipline. Besides, it makes students to become expertise in a specific field while expanding their domain. Therefore, college education is must for a successful career. For example, if a students wants to join a profession like doctor, lawyer, Chartered Accountant, etc, then it necessary to study in university or college to become such a professional. Thus, it is essential for students right after school to attend colleges or universities.
On the other hand, going for a job right after school is appealing for several reasons like it makes a person independent and gain real life experience. As a teenager, it helps a person to become independent as he/ she earning their source of income rather than relying on parents to meet their needs while also learning practical experiences of life. For example, Some people join their family business right after school because their only focus is to grow their family business for which there is no need to join college education.
By concluding it, the above reason provide a solid evidence on both views but in my opinion, studying in college or getting education from a university is best option rather than getting a job right after, as it helps in attaining better career opportunities while also enhancing our overall development.
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In the growing years of students (student’s) life,
it act(s) as boon
the above reason(s) provide
Lexical resources could be improved. otherwise, well- written , task achievement and cohesion has been maintained throughout.
Band: 4.5/6
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It is considered by some individuals that education from university or college is mandatory to successful career, while there are others who think that it is more helpful to go for real work experience directly after completing school. Although, working right after your schools helps you to gain practical knowledge ,I strongly believe that studying in universities is essential for unlocking various skills and vast knowledge on particular subject which will be more convenient in succeeding career for long run.
On the one hand, there are some students who directly join company or organization right after completing their school which is helps them to acquire real time experience in early age as well as gives knowledge of corporate field. For example, one of my friend joins logistics company after completing his basic education and after working there 3-4 years he is promoted to assistant level job which helps him to stable financially and to look after his family.
On the other hand, some parents encourage their children for higher studies after completing their school to enhance their knowledge in particular field as well as help them to achieve various skills like leadership, communication, presentation, etc. After completing their higher education, they can get equally paid job and they have successful career for long run. For example, one of my colleague who has around 10 years of experience in respective field but fails achieve manager level position because of not completing higher education. So, I think further education after completing school is important if you want to achieve higher level jobs in corporate world.
To summarize, even though you can gain work experience in corporate field after completing school, I totally agree that higher education is required to increase skills and knowledge in particular area and then apply for jobs.
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college is mandatory to (for) successful career,
which is helps (which helps) them to acquire real time experience
one of my friend(s)
after working there (for) 3-4 years, now he is promoted to assistant level job which helps him to (become) stable financially
After completing their higher education, they can get equally paid job (needs more explanation, to establish cohesion)
one of my colleague(s)
band: 4/6
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Education plays a crucial role in our professional career. It is hard to assume that we can land a job without relevant education. While some certain types of jobs require more skill-based training than higher educational qualification, they have very less employment rates. Education, university or limited to school will help land a job but for more successful career, it is always advised to have good level of higher education combined with a sufficient work experience.
University or college provides students with great exposure that helps them to understand and adopt various perspectives and tackle new challenges. The depth of knowledge absorbed through the years of education in university in their respective subject gives more opportunities and helps to get better at workplace. Qualification is an important factor in terms of hiring new recruits, University or college provides an easy path to fulfil this factor and makes the candidate favourable.
Job after school is great way to understand the workplace and mould according to the requirement of the workplace. Working before joining a university gives more experience and show reality of world and workplace expectations. Working also helps to have better financial planning as most students are not working full time, it affects their understanding of financial planning.
I believe that according to current educational system it is necessary that an individual should work for a limited time before joining university. Continuing work without higher education will hinder professional growth. It should be made compulsory that students work for some time before going for higher studies.
256 words
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserMarch 1, 2022 at 7:55 AMStudying in university is a good path for professional learning it is an opinion in few people mindset however few people think doing job after the schooling is better option. Both points have their own benefits and their draw backs in my point of view getting degree from university is good to start the career.
In one hand getting knowledge on specific field for student have benefits as they know what they need to learn moreover their focus is on one item only. They are not distracted with many fields and try to grab the information for here and there. They stick to one field, gather all the knowledge and master on it. For instance, Doctor, engineers , scientist etc. They spend all the valuable time, effort on particular one studies and help in society with their role and responsibilities. In pandemic situation when covid was impacting all over the world. Many scientists, doctor worked together as team and prepared the vaccination to safe human race. It was only possible because there all had one specific leaning in their respective work area which they received from university on college curriculums.
In other hand starting the career after schooling is dependent on person-to-person interests as well and how they like to purse their life. Example a businessman does not need any particular knowledge. They only need to know their product they like to sell in market and how to target the sales add-on profitable. Like the Microsoft founder Bill gate had interests in business, to follow his dream he drops off his education in middle and spend his time on work he like the most. He gave one of the best operating systems to world which is used across the globe.
In conclusion, there are many factories’ students need to think on before putting themself to carries like economic status, quality time they like to spend, knowledge they like to gain and not to mention family conditions and environments as well. They have to go thought wisely for their path.
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It is considered by some that university education is vital for a prosperous career as it leads expertise as well as professionalism while there are others who think that getting a job just after schooling is a good option as it makes one independent. I strongly believe that higher academic education is crucial for a well paid occupation and it also helps in overall development of a person as he gains vast knowledge and various intellectual skills.
Firstly, university provides platform to students to socialise with others and gets deep knowledge related to the subjects. For example, many cultural events are organised in which students participate. These events help them in building confidence as well as developing social and intellectual skills. Secondly, university acts a ladder by providing expert materials and advice which make them well experienced in the subject. This also helps them in getting a well paid job in future. For example, some private organisations and even government agencies ask candidates for a higher degree if they want to apply for a job . To apply for UPSC exam, one must possess a graduation degree.
On the other hand, to do a job , one may not need a higher education but he should be well experienced in the particular field. Job just after schooling helps one in mang ways. It makes one independent to understand the requirements of life and make him financially strong. He doesn’t have to depend on their parents for daily needs. For instance, my brother is doing job just after schooling, he doesn’t need to ask for money from my parents but as i am studying in college, i have to ask them for money. Secondly, it teaches practical life lessons that is how to face financial challenges as well as how to manage budget. For example, one of my school friends joined his family’s grocery shop and that time the shop was bit small. With his hardwork and talent, his took the shop at the greatest zenith and now the shop is converted into a large store. So, this shows that one needs talent and hardwork, not a higher degree to become a successful person.
To conclude, both views have their positive points but in my opinion,higher education is must not only for a well established career but also for getting social and intellectual skills which are important for life lessons.
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Most people agree that pursing at university or college is a best path to progress their carrier, while others feel that it is good to have a job after completions of their high school. Most jobs demand for people who complete their education from reputed universities. I strongly advocate education from university can lead to career prospects.
On one hand, as the world is modernising and rapid change in technology. Universities offer a wide range of courses and focus on key technical aspects, what today’s companies demand for. People can get strong exposure before getting their job, which is crucial for present competitive world. People who graduate from IIT gets hired in top tech giants like Google, Microsoft & Twitter, for instance. And can bag lucrative salaries.
On the other hand, earning money at early stages of life is a good idea. which makes them financial independent. Despite the fact of earning early in their career, growth is limited and subdued works. For example, a successful person like Steve jobs is a drop out from college, but his level of imagination and creativity made him a triumphant. This is not the case with all the people who start their career early. So, education play a crucial role in one’s life.
To conclude, early earnings can be beneficial. however, this can be a like part time job in summer holidays. In my opinion, there is a tough competition for jobs, so finishing education from a renowned university will be a great deal.
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Most people agree that pursing at (not required) university or college is a best path to progress their carrier, (career)
I strongly advocate education from university can lead to (better) career prospects.
as the world is modernising and (technology is bringing rapid changes) rapid change in technology.
make use of cohesive devices to increase the readability.
So, education play(s) a crucial role in one’s life.
Develop the second view equally as the view one, before stating your own opinion (question demands)
Band: 3/6
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Some people argue that higher education is the best way to get employment, while others say that schooling is enough to drive on profession. I reckon, specialization is required for better exposure. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall discuss both views with an example.
On the one hand, nowadays students have huge scope to get specialist in any field, and it becomes very easy than earlier due to the number of universities started since a decade. Firstly, Person has to do practical work during the job which they can get from the college study, because the curriculum is well organized as per the requirement by the industries. Secondly, they make a network during the study which will be helpful for employment. Lastly, they can begin the vocation through the job placement which is arranged by the institute. i.e., I studied master of business administrator from where I got profound knowledge of the finance, and I was selected during the campus interview which established me on a good position.
On the other hand, pupils can able to learn basic expertise during the schooling education, and because of the multiple reasons many have to start their career at the early age. A plethora of undergraduate could not afford the tuition fees so they have to begin employment to support their family, but lots of polytechnic provide the facility of the distance learning in which student can earn the degree with the participation through online or sometime through attend the evening batches. Teachers teach them through the virtual classes and They have to submit all the assignments and taken examination for the degree. For example, one of my friends don’t have enough time and capability to obtain the higher education so he attended the course through e-learning for the master degree, and he gained certificate which was helping him for promoted to higher position at his workplace.
To conclude, specialization has become necessary for individual to achieve the outstanding profession which can be earned from the universities and online courses.
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master of business administrator (administration) from
especially in body paragraph 1, all the sentences are connected by “which” – monotonous sentence structure.
pupils can able ( either go for “can” or ” be able” ) to learn basic expertise
second body paragraph is dedicated to benefits of online learning not why some people think job is good right after school, hence response is tangential with the question.
Band: 2.5/6
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While there is one group of people who are of the opinion that the experience of studying at a University or a College is unmatched and plays a significant role in one’s professional development, there are also people on the other end of the spectrum who maintains that opting for a Job immediately after the School is the right way to go. In my opinion, a University education is definitely worth every penny you spend on it.
Universities have become an integral role in a person’s professional development as it provides an ideal roadmap to achieving a successful career. Furthermore, the years of experience of the esteemed professors as well as an abundance of resources available in the colleges can never be obtained anywhere else. Undoubtedly, it also helps in getting a well-paying dream job given the availability of a vast alumni network and a reputable University name. However, one has to pay a costly price for it.
While the majority of the group might agree on the value of a University education, the other mass chooses to opt for a job after finishing high school right away. There are a number of good reasons why someone would choose this path. Firstly, the financial independence as well as hands-on experience one gains by working directly after school is unparalleled. History has witnessed that great minds such as Bill Gates, and Mark Zuckerberg who were college dropouts realized the importance of working directly instead of completing their degrees. If you are firm about what direction you see your career in, you do not need a college to figure it out.
In conclusion, I would like to speak from personal experience, University education, no matter how costly, is definitely worth your time and money. Not everybody is street smart in figuring out what they want to pursue after high school and sometimes you need the experience and mentorship of professors as well as like-mined people to figure out how you want to shape your career.
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who maintains (maintain) – the subject is “people” here.
Universities have become an integral role (part) in a person’s professional
Feedback : answer is well- developed . Cohesion is maintained throughout. However, there is room for improvement in grammatical range. Keep writing!!
band: 3.5/6
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Some people who graduate from high school often have to face the dilemma of whether to join the academy or college to pursue higher study or to find a profession they accomplished for. This essay will discuss both views.
On the one hand, it is fairly easy to understand the advantages of studying at university or college. First, the educational institution guides them to have a good foundation for their future life because it helps them to learn what they didn’t learn from the faculty, which cannot be achieved if they choose to work right after they graduate from academy. Second, they believe a higher-level study improves their qualification and the door to a better places. Also, helps to get good remuneration. professors who are able to give a recommendation letter to land in a good office could be a good example here.
On the other hand, the idea of working straight after high institution is justifiable in some ways. It is common knowledge that working straight after high institute instead of pursuing higher teaching can help youngsters collect practical working experiences. If they do not want to go for another learning process, they can being to seek an activity as early as possible. As a result, they are likely to start their professional career sooner than their fellows. Moreover, young people can live independently on their own income without asking for financial support from their parents for the reason that they are able to earn money by themselves to meet their basic needs.
In conclusion, it seems evident that both going for higher study at academy or college and working right after school are advantageous in their own ways.
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserMay 10, 2022 at 8:07 AM -
University’s has been taken a major role for A-lot of people to develop their Self esteem Towards work, either They can get a job from there education it self but for some people after completing there high school getting a job is more suitable as they have to look after their own basic needs.
As per researchers it has been put to a point, that students prefer to work so they can achieve their goals in very young age. There are many example of such individual Who has chosen to work after there High schools, work can be define in many ways, because of modernized culture youngsters have many ways to earn and been a part of this 21th century. they have source to get there funds For example, You-tube and discord are the Apps who have given many people A chance to mark them self in the crowd even though its not a actual job, but it has became a source of income for certain people who choice not to go for further educations.
On the other hand, University has been a good part for learners, who wants to put them self in process to develop their self for better future. Its no harm to get your masters done and then have a job for your lifestyle and its going to benefit indeed. studies have made human kind more accessible in the certain aspect. It just boost your confidence in your work ethic, And help you to understand your job more professionally example; A person having a Masters degree in hotel management would know the pro and cons around his working space, And can adjust him self in the environment easily. He/She would have basic knowledge to run their operation easily as the have been taught about how things take place in actual work place and how to assist with it. university education is important and has made its mark for a long time and help many others to become what they have dream off.
In conclusion, Its a certain choice of human being which they can take for them self, some may find university would bring more outcome where others have certain reach without going for university. I strongly believe that this is life changing moment in our life having a job that would bring more digit to your bank account, But been educated has bring more power and wisdom. So been a educated humankind, This Would put you in appropriate way of living.
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A few people think attending a university or a college may have better career prospects whereas some believe primary education should suffice. By the time an individual completes his degree he is mature enough to enter the job market, that’s not the case when he completes his schooling. Degree programs have a practical approach and assist students in focusing more on their interests allowing them to choose a right career path.
A degree helps in building a student’s personality, where the focus is not just on the overall education but also preparing the student for better career opportunities. The current education system is planned in such a way that an individual starts his career only when he is mature enough. The reason being, maturity plays a vital role in performing any job, this may be restricted to a person who has just completed his primary education. Furthermore, people have a different outlook for the students completing a degree and respect if passed out from a prestigious institute.
Some job sectors require skilled labourers who don’t need a degree, for them basic education is more than enough to get started. Indeed, such sectors may be best options for students not willing to study further and want to support their family at an early age. There are a couple of drawbacks to this. Firstly, the child will be exposed to earnings at a tender age and may not manage funds efficiently, as a result this may lead to unnecessary spending and no savings. Secondly, their career progression will be limited to a particular sector or job duties, where they may not be able to climb up the ladder as they would want to.
In conclusion, higher studies clearly helps in having better future prospects in comparison to choosing a profession post school has better career opportunities for skilled workers.
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Achieving a professional stability is a dream of many aspirants. While certain individuals support the basement with education is crucial for this, others profess that people can go on with their job opportunities directly after elementary education. I suppose, the advanced education would help in better career options, and this essay discusses the notion in detail.
Work perfection can be obtained by experience alone. In other words, non-supporters of higher education explain that when people continue their job at one workplace for a longer period, time will make them professionals, and the enormous academic qualifications would never uplift the career. For example, South Africa, as it is a developing nation, the country struggles for good learning facilities, however, the workers on the country have enough idea to perform their tasks effectively and efficiently. The activities like gardening, building construction, and carpenter works could be seen as such kind of jobs with no demand of specialized education.
Nonetheless, certain occupations welcome only well-educated employees by which complex tasks can be solved. If multinational companies employ all job-seekers without looking the resume, then the reputation of the office will diminish in future. Therefore, company managements had foreseen this issue, and thus segregate the CVs on file under the consideration of academic achievements. If not, the money on amateur employee’s training, their salary as well as the damage they could cause to the office by any kind of mistakes will aftermath the company to suffer financially. Computer-engineering, specialty doctor, and teaching are some of such occupations which demand higher education.
In conclusion, the aforementioned explanation is enough to pen down that while some jobs require no further education than the elementary one, other sophisticated works indeed need skilled workers with good educational accomplishments.
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While certain individuals support the basement with (higher) education
elementary education.(schooling)
(On the one hand,) Work perfection can be obtained by experience alone. In other words, non-supporters
South Africa, for instance has, the most efficient and effective workforce even if the country lacks enough learning facilities
The activities (professions)
reputation ( productivity)
thus segregate(d) the CVs on file under
aftermath (its a noun, not verb) the company to suffer financially
specialty (specialist) doctor
n conclusion, the aforementioned explanation is enough to pen down that while some jobs require no further education than the elementary one, other sophisticated works indeed need skilled workers with good educational accomplishments. (change the order)
band: 4/6
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Some individuals think that pursuing higher education at a university or college is the optimal path to a prosperous career, whereas others feel that entering the workforce immediately after high school is more advantageous.
On one hand, attending university or college allow individuals to gain in-depth knowledge in their chosen field of study. Additionally, lectures will provide you valuable guidance and support, helping students understand fundamental concepts and become familiar with latest technologies. This academic environment builds confidence and prepare graduate for their careers. For example, aspiring software engineers can benefit from numerous opportunities, as many organizations actively seek talented individuals. Graduates can also explore freelancing or even start their own companies.
On the other hand, entering the workforce right after high school offers financial benefits. Instead of spending money on higher education, individuals can start earning immediately. However, this path comes with its own set of challenges. Without sufficient education, individuals may need to put in extra effort to overcome obstacles. Some may struggle with the lack of maturity and experience, potentially leading to stress or depression. For instance, my friend wanted to start a business, so he directly started one after high school instead of pursuing an MBA. Eventually, he experienced a lot of losses because he didn’t have knowledge of business management and went into depression. His family and friends struggled a lot to help him overcome depression. Later, he pursued his MBA, started a new business, and had a wonderful career.
In my opinion, pursuing higher education provides individuals with the necessary knowledge and maturity to face challenges, ultimately leading to a successful career.
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Thesis statement in introduction is missing
On (the) one hand
attending university or college allow (allows) individuals
provide you ( inadequate usage of pronoun)valuable
prepare graduate (graduates) for their careers.
aspiring software engineers can (be benefitted) benefit from – use passive structure
Conclusion could be more structured
Body paragraph is actually negating the second school of thought , which leads to a question on cohesion and coherence
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Some individuals think that pursuing higher education at a university or college is the optimal path to a prosperous career, whereas others feel that entering the workforce immediately after high school is more advantageous. This essay will discuss both views and I opine that pursuing higher education is beneficial in career growth.
On one hand, attending university or college allow individuals to gain in-depth knowledge in their chosen field of study. Additionally, lectures will provide you valuable guidance and support, helping students understand fundamental concepts and become familiar with latest technologies. This academic environment builds confidence and prepare graduate for their careers. For example, aspiring software engineers can benefit from numerous opportunities, as many organizations actively seek talented individuals. Graduates can also explore freelancing or even start their own companies.
On the other hand, entering the workforce right after high school offers financial benefits. Instead of spending money on higher education, individuals can start earning immediately. Additionally, it depends the type of career individual choose, works that involve hard labor like Carpenter, Mason, construction worker and so on, then its better to join workforce directly as experience will help greatly in becoming expert. Also, there are people who had quit their studies and are successful in their careers like Mark Zuckerberg, dropped out of Harvard in his sophomore year to complete his project. While, there are few people who achieved their goal despite quitting their studies, there are many people who suffered due to lack of experience and maturity to deal issues. For instance, one of my friends wanted to start a business, so he directly started one after high school instead of pursuing an MBA. Eventually, he experienced a lot of losses because he didn’t have knowledge of business management and went into depression. His family and friends struggled a lot to help him overcome depression. Later, he pursued his MBA, started a new business, and had a wonderful career.
In conclusion, pursuing higher education provides individuals with the necessary knowledge and maturity to face challenges, ultimately leading to a successful career.
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