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Task 2 (Opinion Based) : community service
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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28 Replies
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People tend to have various attitudes towards unpaid community services. A vast majority of people tend to agree it should be included in high school education. Even though it has some positives, it should not be included in high school education due to various reasons.
Unpaid community services should not be made a compulsory part of the high school curriculum. First and foremost, Indian students have a very hectic curriculum and a very limited time to invest in their studies with all the tuitions, entrance coaching, etc. So if they participate in such activities it can further take up a large chunk of their time and can lead to many challenges in the academic area and they may even fail in their examinations.
Moreover, a high school student is not mature enough to handle service programs effectively. For instance, if they are involved in any kind of charity services in an orphanage, they may be asked to stay along with the inmates of the orphanage, some may not find it easy to adjust to such an environment. Consequently, they may lose interest in doing those kinds of services later on in their life. In addition, it would develop a negative attitude towards unpaid community services from the tender age. Nevertheless, I think that students should be more focused on education and should not be forced to do something that might detract them from their main target and task.
To conclude, despite some advantages, unpaid community services should not be promoted in the early stages of education.
WORD COUNT – 256
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Even though it has some positives, despite some advantages – (These statements talks about certain benefits, since you are mentioning them , try to show something relevant to these points in any of the body paragraphs too, your statements will be more justified then)
Coherence and cohesion is maintained. There has been use of different variety of sentence structures as well .
Though there is definitely some room for improvement in lexical resources.
Keep writing!!
Band: 4/6
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In today’s era of well standard of living, unpaid community service is as important as paid service. Volunteer work is an act of socialising. So I am agreed with the notion that at the high school level,unpaid community service should be made as a compulsory education.
In the view of the notion, volunteer work or service inculcates the values of togetherness,coordination, cooperation as well as make him/her a responsible citizen towards the society and the country. Moreover, it helps in overall development of the children. For example, during the Swachh Bharat Abhiyaan, people came together to make the country garbage free. This shows that a responsible citizen has to do a service that may be unpaid.
As children start doing volunteer work with any NGO, they will be able to get a better job in future. As during their work with the NGOs, a certificate of experience will be provided by the NGOs. For example, my sister was doing work with the SPARSH NGO. The NGO is working in field of the differently abled children. After completion of one year duration, she got the certificate and she attached her certificate in one of the resume and finally she is a government special educator in a school.
Conclusively, unpaid community service helps in the development of a healthy society as well a overall development of children as the volunteer service inculcates a responsible behaviour in them.
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In today’s era of well standard of living, unpaid community service is as important as paid service.In today’s era of well standard of living, unpaid community service is as important as paid service. (I am not very convinced with the background statement as it seems to be out of the context)
Example in B.P 1, needs to bit more coherent or explained
Word count of given essay is 235 , which should be 250 words minimum. Clearly, the explanation and reasons have not been developed fully. The criteria of Task response is compromised.
Band: 3/6
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One of the most controversial issues today relates to whether the high school should make unpaid community service mandatory as part of the programmes. Many parents are of the opinion that it will be beneficial to the students in their overall development and I totally support this view because of several reasons.
There are quite a few advantages that community service brings to the youngsters. Firstly, it is extremely helpful in developing inter-personal skills and secondly, it will develop a sense of social responsibility among students. The unpaid social work will make them understand the societal problems in more natural way with no personal gains. It will encourage students to become a better person who will be more understanding, rational thinker, positive in their approach. Besides this, it also plays an important role in their studies and job opportunities because working from early age help them to develop their communication skills with others and the skills to resolve their issues which could be an added in their resumes. For example, various schools have introduced go green programme where students were given responsibility to plant trees not just in schools but all around their community, would spread environmental awareness. Also providing medical aid to needy and poor person, teaching sports to teenagers and some charity work are some other activities which should be enhanced and help them grow.
Moreover, it will also develop a healthy environment when more of these activities are performed. This way, it gives children or students a progressive society, creating positivity in their minds, make them aware about the realities of life which will expand their knowledge, improvement in personalities of students, also it’s a good way of introducing skilled and smart individuals to community. Thus community service bring forth a healthy and prosperous environment.
In conclusion, I think that community service should be implemented in the high school programmes.
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Task achievement and cohesion , coherence can be easily observed . However, sentence structure seems to be quite monotonous and lexical resources can be improved.
Band: 3.5/6
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As we knew that oxygen is most essential for a human to live on this earth , same like imparting a character in every child Is also Important . So as to be a good citizen in this society. It is only obtained through by giving social service or concern to the society, its also known as humanity. i totally agree with the statement that unpaid community service should be the part of high school programs then only every Individual knows the value of life and the society. Otherwise, every human believes that he can obtain any thing through the means of money or crime and there will be no question of realization on facts.
humans are social beings and are need to satisfy their body biologically ,psychologically , cognitive and socially as per psychology of human brain . Many developed countries like Japan , China had made voluntary services a mandatory in student curriculum. They are providing weightage for it in medical and engineering entrance exam .
For instance, if we take unpaid community service like first aid means , it is initially started as a voluntary service in iraq as when earth quake disaster occurred in it in 19th century . it served there thousands of people without any fee and saved so many lives. Now it grew up big and giving services internationally in hospitals . Every student must and should should acquire knowledge of it otherwise when a dog or snake bite a student means he should know how to respond on it quickly or at least his fellow members.
A person can take lots of oxygen as much as he can through the lungs by doing exercise ,so as to get rid from stress in academies . Simply sitting ideal at class for hours can leads to anxiety problems and are prone to abuse medicines. For this he/she must should play on ground under sun for at least 1 hour . Such that his body observes vitamin D and boosts his immunity . Due to rapid urbanization, we are prone to air borne diseases for to get rid from this children should plant trees and realize their bondage with nature. As we knew that elders doesn’t find any time to do the plantation of trees that’s why government should work with Ngo’s so to plant trees with children and should provide some weightage marks for their activity.
As a conclusion, every student should feel the value of life rather than working like a robot for just sake of getting money. A human should satisfy his body psychologically by mingling with others and can share his emotions, biologically through playing outdoor games. cognitively through reading books. socially by understating that at any time he need help from others as per sigmon freud theory in psychology.
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iraq (Iraq) – proper noun
earthquake is a one word
I suggest to stick with the pattern as discussed in class. There has been lots of extra information , along with various analogies , which can reduce the effectiveness of argument.
Do keep time track of 40 minutes.
Keep writing!!
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In Introduction, paraphrasing is mentioning about two views, which is certainly not the question
belive (believe)
Voluteerism (volunteerism)
Increasing value of knowledge is part of school (Knowledge enhancement is one the important aspects of schooling)
It must be based for (to) improve student’s base
it’s help to student ( It helps students)
interships (Internships)
as a consequences (consequence)
Volunteerism is effect on students (can effect their behaviour)
Circulum (curriculum)
Feedback : Need to work on basic sentence structure and spellings are also one of the major concerns. At times, answer went off the track too.
Band: 2/6
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In today’s era, where we are losing humanity because of busy life, few people advise in school circumplasm social work should be added and few don’t agree with the same thought.
According to me, I agree with the idea to add an activity in children’s academic year. It will help society in many ways. Example: Charity work help to build the character. If students will be engaged in social work, it helps them to construct their personalities. They will be more in empathy zone and even in their busy modern living if they met any needy, they would offer the help. In this Vuka world, we need to prepare the coming generation for sharing and extension of support not only humans but animals as well.
Secondly, including teenagers in social welfare work also uplift their resume when they apply for high education or jobs, etc. Like: In today’s time all the schools follow Swachh Bharat abhyanga and all the students participate in these activities. It not only helps them to clear their surrounding moreover it also explains to them how much it is important for plant earth as well. In the matter of instance, today’s generation knows about different types of garbage systems why we used blue, green, or red, etc. Why we should segregate the garbage. It is only possible because institutions are following Swachh Bharat abhyanga for the last 10 years. When students add these knowledgeable items in their application, it helps the selector to understand the roots of a person furthermore it provides an idea of how supportive the person can be for society or project if needed.
Last but not the least, all over adding the welfare activities in school not only help for students but the whole society. It should be included, and it should be supportive, not only of teachers but by parents as well. A small action towards supporting the badly off will not only help overall for kids but their surroundings as well.
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school circumplasm (curriculum)
few don’t agree with the same thought. (this should not be mentioned ; question is not asking to discuss both views )
Introduction lacks the thesis statement.
According to me, (In my opinion)/ To commence with,
he idea to add an activity in children’s academic year (topic sentence is too general as it is including “an activity”)
if they met (meet) any needy,
not only (to) humans but (to) animals as well.
because institutions are (have been) following Swachh Bharat abhyanga for the last 10 years
it helps the selector to understand the roots of a person (.) furthermore (,) it provides an idea of
not only of (by) teachers
Band: 3/6
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In this era, Education become essential for students where they learned about the history, science and many other languages but they never get chance to work for society which is also one of the requirements for the human being to serve the nations. I completely agree with this statement. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall discuss about the social work should be in curriculam on the mandatory basis for the pupils.
It is a great opportunity for the young generation to learn about to do something for the needy people where they learn many things which is not included in the course. Now a days, They become bookish so don’t have the knowledge about the reality of the society. If schools organise some events where they can aid to poor people, It will be high time to learn time management, discipline, empathy and so on, Which will be help to them in exposure of their personality and career.
Everyone have the responsibility to contribute to country and if person learn from the early age, It will become habitual for them. So it is not required to teach them separately for how to help the people in the critical situations but they automatically adopt this culture. For example, Sweden government introduced a subject ‘Social Help’ in which students have to spend 10 hours per week to support some one and make a thesis about the experience. Presently Sweden become one of the peaceful country in the world because they learned from the beginning to help to each other.
To conclude, Education is not only to teach students about the huge number of subjects but they should be include some extra activity in the course which teach human ethics to the children.
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Education (has) become essential for students where they learned (learn) about the history, –
should be in curriculam (curriculum)
many things which is (are) not included in the course.
Now a days (nowadays), They become bookish(studious, learned etc. ) bookish people is not the right word.
Which will be help to them in exposure (to explore) of their personality and career.
Everyone have (has)the responsibility – everyone is singular in usage
if person learn(learns) from the early age, It (he) will become
one of the peaceful country (countries) in the world
they should be (“be not required) include some extra activity (activities)
in the course which teach human ethics to the children.
Feedback : Many grammatical errors found in every paragraph. Sentences are struggling to justify the grammatical range and accuracy. Understanding of basic tenses is required.
No band score as the student needs to work on all possible parameters.
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It is opined that voluntary work should be a mandatory part of high school curriculum. This essay totally agrees with that statement. I believe that these students will in future make some fine educated citizens one day by taking part in these activities as education deals more with technical aspects while activities like these cultivate humanitarian values in their adolescent minds.
One of the main reasons, I feel there is a greater need to this cause is that these skills they acquire during these activities make them emotionally very resilient in their early years and prepares them for the real world events and their career. For example, I personally volunteered to spend 5 weeks in the winter of 2019 in eastern Europe teaching Spoken English and technology to disadvantaged children and this was after I had done my graduation which led to a much higher work ethic and a feeling of how eternal bliss for the things that I had taken for granted when I returned to my life. Nowadays most employers are also looking for potential candidates who not only fit in the right job criteria but also have a proven track record in these selfless activities which give them a greater advantage when this humanitarian skill is also weighed in during the hiring process.
Another main reason, I support this above statement is because I strongly believe education is not only just learning of facts but also it’s training of the mind to think which means that the youth of tomorrow should not only understand how the world works around them but also should learn to respect their elderly and understand their fellow beings. Because if not for today’s adults tomorrow’s youth will cease to exist.
In conclusion, I am firmly convinced that these volunteer work as a part of their curriculum should not be overlooked. They not only build up mental and psychological resilience in these students but also hone their professional skills in the long run.
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, I feel there is a greater need to this cause is that these skills- faulty structure
and prepares (prepare) them for the real world – because subject is “skills”
Lack of cohesive devices, hence cohesion has been compromised.
They (These additions/skills/activities) not only build up mental and psychological resilience
Feedback : There is strong need to work on sentence structure, as range is missed throughout.
Keep writing!!
Band: 2.5/6
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It is a belief that volunteering should be added in higher secondary curriculum. This essay will look at how voluntary work can improve their personality and soft skills, then discuss in what manner these curriculum activities valued by universities.
Education must be an unlimited source and those drills also develop their skill such as, personality, team work and discipline. Particularly, the best way to enhance these ability through community services. Although, it is also helping to develop social responsibility among students. The unpaid services helps them to understand society issues lucidly. It will encourages student to become better person who is reliable to achieve anything through their persona. For example, during Diwali festival excessive bursting is a reason of thick smog in the cities. Many schools runs this campaign with the help of management and students and aware localities with their slogans and presentation of
“say no to cracker”. However, it is a sensitive concern to work upon.In addition, These unpaid events helps students to uplift their CV while they apply for higher education or job opportunities. Moreover, in present day numerous educational institutions follow and execute government guidelines to engage and help them to come forward and participate to boost up their knowledge and prove own creativity.
To summarize, We should definitely add these creative sources up to graduate level, so that each and every participant can proof his/her creativity and ability. Which will make them more confident, fearless and presentable.
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word count is 243 words, make sure at least 250 words are required
these ability (abilities) (is) through community service
It will encourages (encourage)
g through their (his) persona- as you are referring to “student”
Feedback : There is room to improve lexical resources and try to avoid making short sentences , rather try to use wide variety of structures like dependent clauses, compound & complex ones.
Keep writing
Band: 3.25/6
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It is found obligatory that unpaid community service should be the mandatory in the high school curriculam .I personally believe that this helps the students to be responsible citizens in future to serve the poor and needy in every aspects of the society.
To commence with this will help the students to look what is happening everywhere in our society and will bring benefit to them especially at their young age about what to do, how to do when they ask to do a particular task and this will help them in their higher studies for social project in which work you have done accordingly to that.For Example I personally volunteered for 2 months in an non- goverment organization in Navi Mumbai teaching special students as per their needs and requirements and this was the part of my individual project.
However this will develop a good friendly environment with each other and helps to manage the study time effectively by reducing stress.This will create a positive mind image in future while interacting with special children or any other people in our society.Many colleges and companies have started various initiative by organising events like marathons,quiz competitions etc.For example TATA group have organised various marathon events in many parts of the world to bring people together.
So this will bring benefits for that particular society to help in future purposes.
To conclude that doing community service in their school life should not be ignored.This not only help in maintaining their personal life but also professional life also.
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high school curriculam (curriculum)
To commence with (,)this will help the students
this will help them in their higher studies for social project in which work you have done accordingly (meaning is not justified)
For Example (,) I personally volunteered for 2 months
However (Moreover,) this will develop a good friendly environment with each other -faulty use of cohesive device.
various initiative(s) by organising events
To conclude (,) that doing community service
but also professional life also. (repetitive usage of words, distorting the meaning)
Feedback : Lack of lexical resources. Be careful with the usage of punctuation. Sentence structure needs strong consideration.
Keep writing!!
Band: 2/6
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It is arguable that whether voluntary social services such as donations, working for surrounding communities, training youth in various sports activities should be mandatory for high school students or not. I strongly agree that it should be a part of curriculum because it will not only give them better job opportunities but will also lead to overall community development.
Firstly, in the age of cut-throat competition it is not a piece of cake to get a good job just on the basis of personal competencies and talents, what today’s companies look for in prospective candidates is how actively they are engaged in other social activities apart from focusing on their ambitions, as a result if high school graduates would work in different unpaid community programmes right from the beginning then it would aid them in building strong and effective resume ,consequently, providing greater chances of being selected . For an instance, one of my friend got hired in a big company while she was volunteering in Blood donation camp because that big company was sponsoring this event so they hired some of the volunteers whose record showed that they were participating in other programmes too.
Secondly, involving students in social programmes will help in making them a responsible citizens which will ultimately result in all round development of society, owing to the fact that when they will get a chance to deal with different age groups, they will learn moral and ethical values and become more empathetic to needs of others rather than being self-centred ,for example while involving with children they will learn how to be caring and acting mature , on the other hand dealing with elder people will make them inherit basic values and beliefs and community progresses when we move together instead of walking alone.
To conclude, making volunteer activities a compulsory part of High-school education will not only prove beneficial for students but also for people around them.
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one of my friend(s)
making them a responsible citizens (citizen)
all (-)round
, on the other hand (moreover) dealing with elder people
sentence structure needs to be improved
keep writing!!!
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It is a general belief among many people that social service should become essential part of high school education such as mentoring juniors on extra curricular activities and taking part in awareness campaign, cleaning activities to improve neighbourhood. I completely agree to the statement as it creates lot of benefits to society such as access to education, lesser crime rates and imparting right moral qualities on learners.
Involving in community service makes the students more compassionate towards others. Thus, it eventually leads to lesser crimes in the country. People who gets benefitted also feel more gratitude so they would be interested in giving back to the society. For students, it gives the sense of fulfilment since their contribution create positive impact in the society. In many of the countries, It indeed improved the society holistically in terms of moral standards and crimes. Violence has come down drastically in all the nations where the academy made this social service mandatory for high school learners.
I also agree that school’s credit system plays a crucial role in increasing the philanthropic activities among high school students. Nowadays, educational institutions have been introducing credit system based on the contribution by students to the community. It implicitly act as impetus for the students to be more engaged in these activities. In London, students took initiatives in reviving the littered public places like parks and lakes and it slowly became one of the cleanest city. In addition to that they were also involved in awareness campaign to keep the city clean that resulted in creating the mindset among people to make environment pollution free. School’s credit system played a major role in fostering this good habits among learners about keeping the society in harmony apart from striving to get additional credits through philanthropic activities
In conclusion, enacting this rule of making community service mandatory for high school pupils yields lot of benefits to the development of the neighborhood and society such as increasing the generosity among learners, reduction in violence. Moreover, this new concept of credit system based on the student’s participation in community service also transcends the empathy to whole new level.
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@fal i updated the essay here..kindly evaluate it
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service should become (an) essential part of high school education
Involving (Involvement) in community service makes the students
moral standards and crimes (crime rate)
where the academy (educational institutions/ authorities) made
In addition to that (,) they were also involved
fostering this (these) good habits
repeated usage of words ( society, philanthropist etc. , try to use synonyms)
Lack of dependent clauses , hence complex structures.
Keep writing!!
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It is argued that educational institute should mandate certain social service programs for senior students such as training on physical fitness to juniors, providing helping hand to orphanages and collaborate with community service centers. I strongly believe to this argument as this will not only impart good qualities in these adolescents but also they can contribute to betterment of the society.
Planning such socially helping sessions in the regular curriculum for higher schooling children will enhance their sense of responsibility towards the society at an early age. Furthermore, it will improve their moral habits. For example, my elder son’s school conducted a program where in they had to teach under privileged kids basic math because he was part of this program, I could see him more responsible otherwise also as he started tutoring my younger one at home as well.
Although such activities has positive impact on the public, sometimes the kids get emotionally deprived visiting the poverty sites. In such cases to maintain their mental health , consultancy help can be provided. Nevertheless, education system should definitely implement such activities as it will make students understand the reality of their society and help them to understand what steps can be taken in order to refine their neighborhood. For example, as part of my school scout-guide program we were taken to a local beach to clean it. Post that efforts I personally did not allow any one litter any public place in my presence.
In conclusion, such sessions are definitely required to be associated with the learning institutes as an initial step towards the betterment of our community.
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educational institute(s)
under privileged (it is a one word) kids
everything is fine ..I just felt explanation could be bit more explanatory in order to maintain flawless flow especially in B.P 1.
Keep writing!!!
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I wholeheartedly think that social work is just as vital now as academics, and that people should become involved in it to help students develop a variety of abilities. However, the benefit of it will be illustrated in the paragraphs that follow.
Although parents should start teaching their kids about social work (like NGO, Orphans Center, Feed to the Poors) when they are 10 to 15 years old, they should start by taking their kids to places where people are doing this kind of work to show them how others are helping the needy. This will help to improve their social skills, personality, and relationships in addition to their academic performance. And by doing so, he will have a beneficial impact on society and the environment since people learn new skills at a young age that they will use for the rest of their lives. Additionally, as people watch him utilize these services, they will pick up knowledge from him.
Although it is generally acknowledged that participating in social work projects helps students become more versatile in all areas of study, doing so will also greatly enhance their ability to interact with a wide range of people when they first begin their careers. Additionally, doing so may help them participate in academic activities while they are still in college. They should not, however, be overly involved in these activities as this might cause them to become distracted from their academics and may prevent them from graduating from high school.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that engaging in unpaid social activities at the beginning of a career will help every person develop the variety of skills mentioned in the excerpt above.
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