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being fear (fearful about failure) of failure.
they feel more respected and it boosts their confidence. (full stop is not required aswhich is helping in connecting the sentence) Which eventually help’s (helps) them
it increases the ones(one’s) confidence
I believe, if explanation or topic sentence of second body paragraphs talked about negative impacts of punishment , then it could add more cohesion between idea and example mentioned, utlimately more justice to question.
keep writing!!
Band: 3.5/6
