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Foreign companies gives (give) much opportunities
repetitive usage of words (working professionals, home country, good work balance, ..). Need to work on lexical resources.
short sentences in entire essay hence, lacks variety and range
when their childrens (children) didn’t attended (attend) their parents (parents’) funeral
good work (life) balance
people have to left (leave) their country for working.
There is need to work on tenses as well.
Keep writing!!
Band: 2.5/6