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should take for (to) mitigate the problem.
raised as a side effect of (this) growth.
For instance (like) , ageing inhabitants creating huge financial burden to the country.
Additionally (hence), they are not able to concentrate over work and explore their capabilities to do extra
work.
In addition to that(,) immigration process can be made easy
For example(,) many developed
issue in (to) some extend (extent)
Use cohesive devices carefully and be cautious with punctuation marks.
Keep writing!!
band: 4/6
