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Agree/Disagree (Reward or Punishment)
Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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44 Replies
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It is generally thought that students will excel more in studies when they get rewarded instead of punishing while at school. More and more institutes tend to adopt such changes recently in order to help their students to achieve great profiles. Clearly, rewarding can motivate students more than punishments do
First of all, children’s overall character improve when there is a shift in the mode of teaching to include prizes rather than penalizing alone. If, at their schools, teachers correct them giving remunerations, they seem highly motivated to follow the instructions simply because, their brains are more likely to get formatted accordingly. Moreover, they tend to be more interested in attending schools without the need for persuading them from which parents get relieved. Similarly, they can be trained without their insight to learn new topics using this method. To cite an example, in many of the developed countries, schools have already realized the significance of rewarding children and hence they made drastic change from traditional teaching methods culminating in more attendance rates and successful outcomes.
Secondly, in order to maintain discipline while at school, punishing is an age old criteria which has more hazards than benefits. Pupils at such schools, become frustrated with their classes and they might even fail in their examinations. Hence, parents also find it much difficult to send them to such academies which can harm their future. This was the scenario in most public schools in many developing countries leading to drop outs and less literacy rates.
In conclusion, the more rewards a child gets, the greater is his or her motivation to pursue dreams. Whereas, punishments can make a child’s future in vail as there is always a side effect of mental torture or trauma.
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overall character improve(s)
children’s overall character improve when there is a shift in the mode of teaching to include prizes rather than penalizing alone. (couldn’t find the justification over this “alone” usage)
teachers correct them giving remunerations (remunerations would not be an appropriate word here)
Need to work on essay structure as here, B.P 1 is saying if we follow “X” it will be useful and B.P 2 is saying if we do not follow “X” it will be harmful . (This structure is not recommended )
Examples need to be more specific and it is advisable to include examples in both the paragraphs .
Band : 2/6
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It is a general consensus that positive reinforcements are better for students’ academic performance than negative reinforcements. A sense of achievement that is a result of reward-based, will help in achieving greater success in life. Negative reinforcement may result in students quitting and having low self-esteem.
When a person is rewarded more often, the dopamine levels are increased in the brain and the person feels a sense of self-accomplishment. This sense of self accomplishments will motivate the student to work harder and achieve more in their life. social media is an indirect example of this, wherein the studies have shown the brain activity favoring people who get more likes, which is actually causing the addiction. here likes can be parallelized to the rewards and the addiction to working hard for greater success.
Secondly, punishments will put immense pressure on students’ minds, this will result in a lack of concentration and may actually result in candidates quitting their education. Punishments are considered archaic and outdated means of education. During my masters there was an examiner, who came for laboratory skill evaluation, he was scolding and making fun of everyone. later, the students were so disheartened that some thought it is impossible for them to peruse higher education and quit their job. It was disheartening for others as well.
In conclusion, reward-based education will definitely help in a student’s education, whereas punishment often has a negative impact on their growth. The sense of achievement as a result of rewards and the negative impacts of punishment definitely points in this direction.
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Sentence structure needs to be varied
Use of transitional words will add more clarity and precision
peruse (pursue) higher education
student’s(students’) education,
Keep writing!!
Band: 3.5/6
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Academic excellence in students at school is based on their performance. It is proven that students when praised and rewarded, perform better. However, on the negative aspects, students can fail in their studies when harassed and punished. I completely agree with the former statement.
Firstly, the capability of each student differs. Owing to cut throat competition, to get into good schools and colleges to shape up their bright future, obtaining great academic record is very crucial for every student. This creates immense pressure on student’s mental health. Therefore, students not only with low grasping power, when motivated with rewards and mentored methodically can achieve remarkable results in their academics. Elders must create support system and accolade students with the words of appreciation and buy them gifts of their choice and toys for their achievement. This brings lot of positivity and motivation to perform better in student’s future grades and creates positive mind frame. For an instance, my friend’s son was rewarded with XBOX playing station for having achieved 95% in his 10th grade exams. He is now aiming to achieve better in his 12th grade.
On the contrary, some parents and institutions follow strict discipline with certain set of guidelines for students to follow mandatorily, With this, they believe, will bring great results in students performance. However, some set of students who are well pampered at home or weak hearted, cannot handle this pressure and feel that they are being tortured with that strict environment. Additionally, students feel demotivated when punished. To quote an example, my class teacher hit my friend on her knuckles when she did not complete her homework. With this humiliation, she got fever and was admitted to hospital.
To conclude, rewards gives recognition and motivates students to perform better in their academics. Where as, students when punished are demotivated and loose interest in doing basic things in their life and turn suicidal.
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The topic sentences could be more effective and coherent.
Keep writing!!
Band : 3.5/6
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Nowadays , when students perform well in schools they are rewarded. This is a better way than punishment when they do wrong things in school.I completely agree with this opinion and think that giving rewards is far better than punishment as it motivates to children.
There are many reasons that i agree that rewarded is a greater than punished.First of all , punishing any children is very wrong as it can leads a child to lack of confidence. A child can loose all of his power of doing things. Moreover, due to punishment it can effect a child mentally which is very incorrect in growing age. Even punishing can hurt physical health of kids, due to which families and kids have to face several difficulties. In addition to it, student who have punished in school they try to avoid going back again as they fell afraid and embarrassed.
Another reason is also that In smaller age children are always in need of love and pamper, when they have rewarded for completing there home work it motivates them more. Finally, they can get higher grades which cause them more confident. Furthermore, adults can also encourage students how they can impress teacher with work and good attitude and inform them about many advantages they have in school.For instance child gets more intreasted in their work and try to copy good things for getting more rewards.
In conclusion, i finally believe that rewards are more beneficial than punishing. as every likes to get a reward which always pushes them towards happiness and they become feel proud of them selves in childhood.
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as it motivates (them) to children.
“I” always should be capitalized
(being) rewarded is a greater (more helpful) than (getting) punished (
it can leads a child (to lose confidence ) to lack of confidence.
student who have (got) punished in school
In smaller age (younger age)
which cause (make) them
Furthermore, adults can also encourage students how they can impress teacher – not very convinced with explanation and found it irrelevant
need to work on conclusion as well , try to sum up things that have been discussed in paragraphs
Sentence structure, word forms , lexical resources , cohesion all things require attention .
Band : 2/6
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Some people argue that it is always better to reward pupils in their achievements to perform better, rather than punish them.
I completely agree ,I support this idea. Giving some motivation for students in their accomplishments always helps them to be interested in any subjects.To begin with , I would like to mention that , from the childhood we love to hear good words about ourselves from adults . When it comes to school , every word that teacher will say to you , will affect your behavior and lives in the future. For instance , if teacher give some reward to students for theirs well-done homework , it will always motivate them to continue to do homework and improve themselves . In addition, it will also encourage children go to school with pleasure.
To go further , I would like to say that punishment always cause psychological problems for child . Some people believe that punishments will increase the chances of learning more , but instead they get a child who is disinterested in everything .For example , pupils who got punished at school ,will usually avoid going to school at all costs, further , child will feel embarrassed to do any mistakes , he will lose motivation and self-confidence . In addition he will have social problems with others in the future .
In conclusion , I think give reward instead of punishment has many advantages . Everyone love receive rewards no matter who you are a child or adult .It makes us happy .
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Giving some motivation (recognition) for students in
, I would like to mention that (not required)
if teacher give(s)
punishment always cause(s)
I think give (giving) reward instead of punishment has many a
Everyone love(s) receive (receiving) rewards n
Conclusion could talk about benefit as mentioned in introduction
Feedback : Be careful with subject- verb agreement
Band : 3.5/6
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It can be argued that children perform better at school ,when they are rewarded. Studies have shown that values inculcated in school, has a direct impact on a pupil’s mental well-being. I am a firm believer that recognition leads to an alleviation in child performance.
We have often seen that most students today, have an aimless approach to life. When they are rewarded ,it creates a feeling of achievement and entitlement, keeping them ready for the challenges that they might have to encounter in life. On the contrary, Harsh punishments has a ripple effect on a student’s development, leading to lack of confidence and self-belief. It is imperative that when students make mistakes, they are catered with constructive feedback. This may not lead to an immediate impact ,but cumulatively, causes an alleviation in their performance, academically and in extra curricular activities. I can recall my own scenario when I was recognised for winning the school Tennis championship. This accolade, ultimately boosted not only instilled my self-belief ,but also uplifted my self -esteem.
With Mental health illnesses now being more prevalent than ever, the need to commend and recognise achievements is more than before. Thus, It would not be wrong to advocate the abolishment of punishment in any form for children.
To conclude , punishments can seem a convenient way to induce discipline in a pupil ,however the ill-effects can be destructive in their growth. In my opinion, it is necessary that all educational institutes should adapt a reward-based learning approac.
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It can be argued that children perform better at school ,when they are rewarded. (incomplete paraphrasing)
Conclusion and introduction should be in a sync ( unfortunately , this essay is not following this idea)
It would be advisable to write concrete topic sentences ( topic sentence of B.P 1 , could be more effective)
Make use of cohesive devices
segregate different ideas into distinct paragraphs.
Band: 3/6
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In the competitive world, the education system has changed immensely, and the way children are targeted to achieve scores. There are better ways such as encouraging with rewards for better performance rather than enforcing and punishing them. In the below essay, we will discuss rewarding a student as a better way to encourage them to gain good scores and enhance their interest in hard work.
To begin with, a person can achieve anything when there is a proper support system that encourages and motivates them to achieve the goals. Especially, during schooling, children need someone who always supports them to study more to achieve good scores and encourage them with rewards. For example, setting up targets to get good scores and presenting gifts as they achieve would result in a noticeable improvement on overall performance and growth in their interest to work hard more to get the gifts. There was a survey conducted on 50 students who are 8th grade, children who were rewarded has shown significant improvement in their excellence in their subjects when compared to other students.
Whereas, when students get punished since they didn’t achieve the desired scores will discourage them furthermore. Abusing and insulting students in front of other peers or punishing them will demotivate and mentally weaken them. For example, there was a student in my class who was always been shamed for getting less scores by lecturers who felt heartbroken and committed suicide. Many children are mentally weak and cannot handle punishments which would result in the worst consequences. Hence, there are better ways to help students get more scores rather than enforcing.
To conclude, it is always recommended to encourage children to achieve good ranks by rewarding them and supporting them in all the possible ways such as providing gifts, extra tuition classes, explaining them by one-on-one conversation rather than punishing them which has no benefit.
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person can achieve anything when there is a proper support system that encourages and motivates them (him)
For example, (this could be an explanation) setting up targets to get good scores and presenting gifts as they achieve would result in a noticeable improvement on overall performance and growth in their interest to work hard more to get the gifts. (For instance,) There was a survey conducted on 50 students who are (were) 8th grade, children who were rewarded has shown significant improvement in their excellence in their subjects when compared to other students.
such as providing gifts, extra tuition classes, explaining them by one-on-one conversation ( new angle in conclusion should be avoided)
band: 4.5/6
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students who were (are) appreciated
it motivated (motivates) them
moreover, teachers have the responsibility to explore the hidden talent of pupils ( found irrelevant or not have presently clearly in the context of topic sentence.
The fear of getting punished would force them to be depressed and shy ( I believe the context is not accurate as per the argument)
he feel (feels) more stressed.
Not convinced with the conclusion (incomplete usage of “though”)
Feedback : Use tense carefully . Subject-verb agreement is another factor that requires precision. Use essay structure as discussed in class.
Band: 3/6
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Children perform well when they are motivated in schools by rewarding them instead, of punishment. Nowadays ,majority of educational institutes have adopted this change. In order to help students to improve there performance, in academics .I Totally agree with the above statement.
However, school is known as second home of a children ,where they spend half of a day with teachers and friends. Moreover ,teachers plays an important role for every pupils in school ,who are future citizens. Every word that teacher talks to them will affect their behaviors and their lives in the future. For example, if students received a reward for doing good in exams ,this will give positive energy to them. Anyhow it help to work hard more to get higher grades. Hence, topper have lots of advantages when they are in search of jobs ,better positions, good respect, etc. And welcomed everywhere, in society.
Another reason is punished cause negative impact in childhood .For instance, student who are send for detention in order to punish them ,will lower there interest in studies as well in attending the school .This may create to lack in there performance, which automatically lower there grades. Furthermore, they are growing up to be an adults they will not have enough knowledge, which affect them in there future ,specially when there go out in search of better professional jobs.
In conclusion , I personally believe that reward is more beneficial than punish . Everyone like rewards, which enthusiast them to achieve higher goals in there life.
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In order to help students to improve there (their) performance,
However, school is known as second home of a children (inappropriate usage of connector)
,teachers plays (play) an important role
every pupils (pupil) in school – every is always used with singular noun
if students received (receive) a reward for doing good in exams
Anyhow (along with that) it (will) help (them) to work hard more(to work more hard in order to attain higher grades) to get higher grades.
Another reason is punished (punishment)
student who are send (who are detained as a punishment) for detention in order to punish them ,will lower there (their) interest in studies as well in attending the school .
they are growing up to be an adults (if) they will not have enough knowledge, (it will lead to more sufferings in their future) which affect them in there future ,
In conclusion , I personally believe that reward is more beneficial than punish(ment)
Feedback : Work on grammar basics, sentence structures and word forms. Understand the difference between their and there
Band: 2.5/6
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Please upload in pdf format.
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belive (believe)
Make use of cohesive devices and sentence structure could be improved. Although I would have appreciated even more if I had found “why punishment should not be the resort for students” as it will add more cohesion to the essay.
keep writing!!
Band: 3.5/6
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Hi Ma’am,
Please evaluate my essay and share the feedback.
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Feedback : Somehow, second body paragraph seems off track as topic sentence is misleading (talks about importance of competition; this could be an explanation). Make use of transitional words foe better clarity and understanding.
Band: 3.5/6
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It is often discussed that an individual, particularly a students performance improves when he or she is praised rather than criticized. I am completely in favor of keeping an induvial moral high rather than punishing for a poor task.
Firstly, if a student is constantly being told off for a task that is not done upto satisfaction he may feel a sense of fear and shame, this will eventually lead him or her to become frantic and unable to perform. If such a situation arises it will cause a mental trauma for the student and he will never be able to give his best.
Furthermore, a student is like a clay and he can be molded. If a student is constantly rebuffed for not performing well he will become compliant and assume that the only end outcome of a poor task will be a punishment, he will never be motivated to work hard and get good results. On the other hand if an individual is spoken with love and reward they can always feel content and strive to work harder.
I would like to conclude by saying that punishment is not the answer to getting the best out of a child but it can be done with rewards in terms of compliments and love.
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Generally, there was a time when students were beaten and harassed by the teachers, However now a days people and parents are educated and know what to do. So, I partially think peers showcase their talents in school when they are gifted something rather than being punished. We will go into detailed further.
firstly, to keep it crisp and clear I partially agree to the statement because my perspective is that teachers nowadays are intellectual and they aware of things what to do and what not to. If students attitude is pester towards his/her mates then it is okay to punish but not in severe way that the student gets traumatized.
secondly, I think rewarding may also lead addiction, devaluation, and increased pressure in the students, which is never good. Unfortunately, they may loose control if they did not get the reward, this sometimes leads to chaos between peers. They are also driven to have thought of student partiality. These are some side affects of rewarding in my opinion.
In the end, we can never say when the gifting can turn into an addiction and when punishing turns to traumatizing. Due to which, I have one thing to say is that “Everything depends on students behaviour towards their mates and teachers”. If the students behaves good he may be rewarded sometimes and same student can be punished for some mistakes in some viable ways. Therefore, I think student’s attitude towards his mates, peers and teachers defines what he gets from it at the end of the day.
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now a days (nowadays)
I partially think peers (pupils/students) showcase ; peers means a person of same age group or position
We will go into detailed (details)further
they may loose control if they did (do) not get the reward,
“Everything depends on students (students’) behaviour
. If the students (student) behaves
Feedback : somehow the essay is mentioning the factors that fetch him rewards and punishments , but question is about do you think they perform better when rewarded than punished?. Clearly , the body paragraphs have not been developed fully. No example found. Monotonous and casual phrases has been used , try to stick with formal writing style . Introduction is mentioning about partial agreement but the body paragraphs are in favor of punishment.
Band: 2.5/6
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Performance of students in school is influenced by many factors. It is seldom observed that students who are rewarded, tend to work hard in their academics. However, punishments are necessary as they teach the difference between good and bad. it also helps to inculcate discipline in the students.
As the central theme here is “students”. My decision to agree or disagree has a divided approach to the statement. I agree to the statement that students perform better when rewarded, if the students are pre-adolescents. On the other hand, I disagree to the statement, if students are adolescents.
I agree because students who are pre-adolescents are driven by the reward. although, the rewarding system is designed a way that it lasts only a short term, it produces excellent results which cannot be obtained through punishment. rewarding is a major factor of motivation when it comes to the accomplishment of the task. the materialistic needs of the students gain more priority over other things if rewarding continues extensively. Rewarding is indeed necessary for pre-adolescent students as they are not mature enough to understand the importance of the task at hand.
My disagreement to the statement is a result of many factors that negatively influence the student’s performance. the basic purpose of education, i.e., learning is confronted with limitations when rewarding system is in use. It also contributes to the lack of motivation in unrewarding tasks. This method is not very reliable, since it cannot be used for a long term. Along with time, the expectation of the students grows, when the resources of the reward are depleted, it would result in chaos.
To summarize, I cannot take sides for this statement. I stick to my approach, however I believe both reward and punishment are necessary within the requirements according to the age and understanding of the students.
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Performance of students in school is influenced by many factors. It is often observed that students who are rewarded, tend to work hard in their academics. However, punishments are necessary as they teach the difference between good and bad, contributing to inculcation of discipline in the students. I agree to the statement that students perform better when rewarded, if the students are pre-adolescents. On the other hand, I disagree to the statement, if students are adolescents.
My decision to agree or disagree has a divided approach to the statement. I agree because students who are pre-adolescents are driven by the reward. Although, the rewarding system is designed to last only a short term, it produces excellent results which cannot be obtained through punishment. rewarding is a major factor of motivation when it comes to the accomplishment of the task. the materialistic needs of the students gain more priority over other things if rewarding continues extensively. Rewarding is indeed necessary for pre-adolescent students as they are not mature enough to understand the importance of the task at hand.
My disagreement to the statement is a result of many factors that negatively influence the student’s performance. the basic purpose of education, i.e., learning is confronted with limitations when rewarding system is in use. It also contributes to the lack of motivation in unrewarding tasks. This method is not very reliable, since it cannot be used for a long term. Along with time, the expectation of the student grows, when the resources of the reward are depleted, it would result in chaos.
To summarize, I believe both reward and punishment are necessary within the requirements according to the age and understanding of the students.
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Teaching system has been drastically changed over the years. Some people argue that rewarding pupil is important to stimulate their mental growth, while others beleive that penalizing them plays an important role. I agree with the notion that appreciating the young ones plays a critical role in their overall development.
Firstly, teachers now a days believe that bestowing students will not only boost their self-esteem, but will increase their motivation as well. I can recall of one memory, where my nephew never used to like homeworks, and then we started sending him to a home tutor, who used to bestow him for everu good deed and homework he does. Since then we saw a significant change in his behavior. Not only he was motivated to complete the homework but also it cultivated a good manners in him.
Secondly, I personally feel, children are like clay, they just take the shape, the way they are moulded, and teachers are the potters. If students perform well and they get rewarded, and every success story helps them become more confident in presenting their ideas in front of a crowd. It not only stimulates learning, but also they will not feel shy to present their ideas in front of people. However, in contrast to that sometimes its also important to correct the notrious ones, in such a way that they realise their mistakes and get motivated to work for good.
To conclude that, I would like to state that, I agree with the idea that nowadays it is a healthy approach to reward the students when they do the good deed and correct them in a way that they realise their mistakes and get motivated to work towards the same.
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while others beleive (believe)
now a days (nowadays)
cultivated a( a is not required) good manners in him.
However, in contrast to that sometimes its also important to correct the notrious ones, in such a way that they realise their mistakes and get motivated to work for good. (just put one sentence that can justify the punishment should not impact the student adversely)
Overall progression can be observed. Task achievement has been achieved. Definitely, there is room to improve the use of sentence range. Keep writing!!
Band: 4/6
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Nowadays, many schools are taking initiative of rewarding students rather than punishing them because it is believed that students when bestowed, will stimulate their performance instead of penalising them. In my essay, I’ll support my arguments in favour of this view.
In the growing years of person’s life when he/she is facing life’s challenges to keep up in the society. There are lot of schools, coming up with idea of rewarding students because of several reasons such as overall personality development, self-discipline, optimism, motivation and many more. Although, overall personality development and optimistic are the most prominent reasons which will help a student to become a better person. So, keeping this in mind, most schools are adopting the practice of bestow instead of punishing them. As this will encourage students to feel motivated when they awarded prizes for their performances. Consequently, boost their confidence and make them feel valuable. For example, many schools have started giving certificates of participation to students who participated in the competition which will uplift their extracurricular activities and motivates them to be more participative.
Admittedly, being awarded will stimulate their confidence and help them to become optimistic in life, while enhancing their interpersonal skills among their peers. Thus, punishment doesn’t seems to be a solution for a students, in fact it will impact them in a traumatised way. For example, when students are punished often for their behaviour or any misconduct, it will inhibit the feeling of anxiety, embarrassment and makes diffident personality among their peers. Therefore, rewarding students is much better than punishing them for their physical well being as well as mental health.
In conclusion, I can completely support this view because of above reasons and strongly believe that schools adopting the practice of rewarding a students with prizes rather than punishing them help them in achieving excellence.
Ma’am please give your valuable feedback.
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n the growing years of person’s life when he/she is facing life’s challenges to keep up in the society. (full stop has been used inappropriately, a comma will do the continuation of sentence) There are lot of schools, coming up with idea.
Although, (Moreover,) overall personality development and optimistic (optimism) are the most prominent reasons
Admittedly, being awarded will stimulate their confidence and help them to (advocate their ideas among others ) become optimistic in life,– optimism has already been discussed in above paragraph
Thus (Whereas), punishment doesn’t seems to be a solution for a students, in fact it will impact them in a traumatised way
Be cautious while choosing the cohesive device and punctuation.
band: 3.5/6
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It is often argued that students accomplish more in their life when they are appreciated rather than penalized, I completely agree with this statement, when children are encouraged for their contribution, positive thinking will be developed which helps them in their personality development, and it gives them a freedom to explore various things in life to succeed without being fear of failure.
Firstly, when children are rewarded, they will develop the positive attitude towards the life. To flourish in life, positive attitude plays a big role and it helps in achieving great personality as well as respect in society. For instance, I was always appreciated in school days, which helped me in positive attitude as well as in my overall personality development. My teachers always used to praise me for every small homework that I did, which encouraged me to be more proactive in classroom sessions.
Secondly, Rewards are known as gateway to freedom of thoughts. When a person’s view or idea is appreciated, then they feel more respected and it boosts their confidence. Which eventually help’s them in solving different problems in life by exploring all possible ways without any fear of rejection or failure. For example, one of my school friends became narrow minded as in his school days his teachers used to chastise him always and he never got any appreciations. Finally, it made him to be fear of life to explore or experiment anything different.
To conclude, Appreciation plays the key role in flourishing the children’s career as it will improve their positivity towards life and also it increases the ones confidence levels to explore different possible solutions to solve the problems in life without fear.
WordCount : 280
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being fear (fearful about failure) of failure.
they feel more respected and it boosts their confidence. (full stop is not required aswhich is helping in connecting the sentence) Which eventually help’s (helps) them
it increases the ones(one’s) confidence
I believe, if explanation or topic sentence of second body paragraphs talked about negative impacts of punishment , then it could add more cohesion between idea and example mentioned, utlimately more justice to question.
keep writing!!
Band: 3.5/6
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hello @fal ma’am please check
Yes, I completely agree with the above statement.
The performance of students is directly related to the reward they get from teacher. Rewarding helps to motivate students whereas punishment demotivates them. Here in this paragraph, I am going to discuss why students perform better when they receive appreciation rather than being punished.
To begin with, motivation helps the students to increase their confidence. The best way to motivate students is to reward them for their better performance. It is always advisable for the teachers to set goals for each student and reward them when they achieve those goals. A reward can be in any form like words of appreciation, small gifts, and extra marks for the efforts, etc.
Few months ago, Cambridge Uni. Conducted a research on students and they had find that the children who get rewards from their school are performing better in studies than those who don’t get any rewards for their performance.
Secondly, there is a big myth among the various part of societies that punishment helps the student to perform better but in reality, punishment leads to demotivation among the students. Strict punishment leads to dissatisfaction in students and in some cases it leads to depression. Sometimes the physical punishment including hitting & other means of causing pain leads to anti social behaviour and aggression in children.
Taking everything into consideration, i want to conclude that reward helps the student to peform effectively and efficiently whereas punishment leads to the dissatisfaction among the students and it further leads to deterioration of performance.
250 words
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Yes, I completely agree with the above statement. (This statement is redundant, you need to put thesis statement in introduction itself)
they had find (found)
Taking everything into consideration, i want to conclude ( To conclude, I believe…)
There has been an effort to use complex sentences, but unfortunately the usage of “which” is only adopted. There is huge list of conjunctions and cohesive devices which can create cohesion among sentences meaningfully. Lexical resources is another area that requires attention.
Keep writing!!
Band: 3/6
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Nowadays, schools have taken constructive measures to reward students for excelling in academics and extracurricular activities. This is an idealistic approach to encourage students perform well in their career instead of penalizing them for their bad behavior and irregular homework . In my view, this is a widespread technique which needs to be incorporated by each institution to motivate a child build his/her analytical and cognitive skills.
Firstly, children will attend school regularly, if they are rewarded for their achievements. This helps them to develop into a good student in future. For example: Awarding students for doing their homework regularly encourages to improve their writing skills and perform consistently well in their periodic assessments. Therefore, this helps the child to be optimistic and feel valued for the work they do.
Secondly, rewarding children with prizes during ceremonies for their outstanding performances boosts self-confidence within them.
Example: A student who secured high marks in final examinations being awarded the Student of the year helps him to excel in his studies further. Furthermore, it helps student think independently and thereby improving his overall personal abilities.
In conclusion, educational institutions should consider various methods of motivating children such as awarding them on periodical basis for their valued contribution, boasting them during occasions which indeed makes a student thrive more to be successful in their future endeavors. Further more, it helps them to groom into good citizens of a society in future. In my opinion, this is a right way to encourage students to achieve their ambitions and futuristic goals.
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Try to follow the essay structure as discussed in class, different headings for example are not required.
In order to establish more coherence, you could talk about how punishment can affect students adversely , I believe that would do even more justice to question as well as to answer. Second body paragraph could be developed with explanation.
keep writing!!
Band: 3/6
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It is a known fact that today’s generation pupils do better in their academics once they are appreciated and feel valued rather than being punished. I completely agree with the statement as scolding frequently to students not only makes them stubborn but also have adverse effects on their health. Besides rewarding the students leads to motivation and develop their overall personality.
Certainly punishment has detrimental effects on the mindset of young generation. Firstly, it is esssential to know children adapt to things and situation very rapidly. Therefore, penalizing the students in front of others in the form of punishment results in making them stubborn. Furthermore, it also takes a troll on their mental health as students end up being in depression as they feel insulted. For Instance, a number of evidences in newspaper shows that students commit suicides because teachers chastise them every now and then in front of their peers leading to make them feel unworthy and useless.
On the other hand, I would like to argue that rewards not only determine the performance of students but also enhances their overall personality. Recognition in the form of rewards has cumulative effects on pupils leading motivation to perform better. Moreover, scoring good in exams builds confidence and develop their personality. For example, my nephew always scores 99% at the evalutaion in school and his morale is outstanding. The only reason behind his determination is how his tutor keeps him motivated by offering the best performing student with chocalate that helps him to stay focussed and score better.
In conclusion, I would like to address that punishing students is not the only solution to fetch good results however, appreciating and keeping them motivated in the form of rewards such as trophy or certificate will have a lasting effect in the posotive way on the academics as well as on the overall personality of children.
Maam please evaluate.
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