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IELTS Essay Writing – 4 (Crimes)
Posted by NIL Admin on June 1, 2021 at 12:28 PMYou should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Write at least 250 words.
Unknown Member replied 2 years, 10 months ago 31 Members · 48 Replies -
48 Replies
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 1, 2021 at 1:27 PMThe world is riddled with criminals , to decrease the crime some people favour implementing longer prison sentences , while a major faction of the society believes that this problem can be ameliorated with alternative ways. This essay will examine both views, but personally , I strongly agree with the former statement .
One way of reducing crime is that government should create awareness among commoners such as by providing the platform for education and by awareness campaigns, this will help to educate the society which in turn will help to reduce the transgressions. Other way to mitigate crime rate is by creating enough employment opportunities, because people would be able to fulfil their fundamental needs if they are employed, employment opportunities provided by government will not only reduce the crime rate but also will improve the condition of economy .For example, Nation will only progress if the people are employed, both these things go hand in hand.
On the other side of the coin, some people believe prison sentence is the effective way to reduce crime, because people no longer fear before committing the crime, this is due to the fact that they would be punished severely .For an instance, Even though there are laws that exists to combat crimes , people still commit horrible felonies , which is partly owing to the fact that punishment is not that severe and partly because of psychological instability
of the individual.I would like to abridge my thoughts at the end by saying that crime rate can be reduced if government provides education as well as employment opportunities to the people, which will help to create awareness among people and eventually reduce the requirements of severe punishments for crime.
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 5, 2021 at 12:44 AMEvery society admittedly, is composed of more peace-loving people and some anti-social elements or sociopaths, who sometimes also indulge in crimes of heinous nature. There are contentions by some that there should be an escalation in the prison sentences to act as deterrent while others argue that there are substitutes for crime mitigation. While I agree with the later view, this essay goes to discuss both these claims.
In modern criminal law, the origin of jail sentencing for criminal offenders can be traced to the ‘theory of deterrent effect’ as part of jurisprudence wherein it was advocated that punishing violators of crimes with prison stay, deters them from repetition thereby reducing crime. Furthermore putting the wrong-doers behind bars distinguishes them from society thereby also protecting the peace and tranquility of the system. Often times these criminals are perverts and jailing them gives them opportunity for introspection and self realisation. For instance, “The Indian Law Journal” published an article about three hard core criminals, in Tihar prison, who have since reformed and attributed the jail sentence to be the most positive turning point in their lives helping them to achieve stability.
On the other hand, in a report titled “ We Can Change”, based on a research by the Medical Council of India, conducted in ten prisons across India, published in the journal “India Today” it has been concluded that the prison stays more significantly solitary confinement, not only increases lunacy in criminals but also adversely impacts their emotional quotient, often escalating violent behaviour. The study also went on to claim that counselling the criminals goes a long way in reforming them and bringing them to mainstream society. In addition, accustoming such persons, to spiritual discourses and meditation camps has also been identified to have profound positive impact on their character thereby encouraging them to distance themselves from crimes.
In conclusion, structured counselling of the violators by the law enforcers and creation of specific places by the Government, dedicated to their rehabilitation instead of prison detentions, where they are meticulously introduced and encouraged to participate in spiritual discussions along with meditation practices, shall irrefutably reduce crime and attain the core objective of controlling crime.
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 5, 2021 at 11:15 AMThere are several ways to reduce crime in the country one way is to make stringent laws like longer imprisonment or heavy penalty and the other way is to focus on mental improvement of the criminal with the help of counselling or sessions. Both these methods have been examined and it is seen that each way has its own benefit on the development of the lawbreaker.
To commence with the need of more stringent laws in a society is it will help in reducing the criminal rate at a much faster rate in comparison to other methods because there is a fear in the criminal about a longer imprisonment if they are being caught. This is also evidenced by seeing the criminal rate of Dubai where strict laws have played a bigger role in reducing the criminal rate to almost zero which is a very proud moment for any country and set as an example for other countries of the world.
Moving to another method of reducing criminal rate is to work on the mentality of the lawbreaker with the help of doctors by proper counselling and motivate them to work for their livelihood instead of theft or indulge in any other illegal activities. Our government can also play a major role in this improvement by creating multiple job opportunities for the people of their country so that it can stop the criminal from doing any unlawful things for the money.
Overall, both the methods have its own advantages but to choose which one is dependent on seriousness of the unlawful act. As if it is a big crime like murder than in that case there should be stringent laws which must be follow but for small crime like robbery there is a possibility to work on the development of the criminal. In my opinion by considering all the things both these methods are crucial for reducing criminal rate.
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Feedback : Approach is good but avoid repetitive usage of words, make use of punctuation to make sentences more clear. Need to include more impactful words. “Some and others” couldn’t be seen in the respective paragraphs.
Band : 2/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 7, 2021 at 7:56 PMMany research reports suggest that the number of criminals present in our country are increasing rapidly . There are a variety of schemes that the government could implement in order to see impactful changes in the demeanour of the offenders .
In some cases people think that giving longer prison sentences would be the best way to reduce crime however the others suggest incorporating better and healthier alternatives. According to me , <font face=”inherit”>giving longer prison sentences could help the prisoner as it will give them the opportunity to enforce discipline and </font>mindfulness<font face=”inherit”> in their life . It will also help them gain a new perspective on the</font><font face=”inherit”> viability.</font>
long sentences would expose them to other offenders over a longer period of time which might resist the improvement of their conduct . A doubled edged sword cuts both ways ! hence ,exploring better options could possibly bring some change . They could enrol the prisoners in any sort of physical activity such as mowing the lawn, building a garden , etc . This would help them regulate their emotions while developing new skills for their future . Finding a new path would give them the motivation to work hard effectively in an ethical manner.
In conclusion , both the methods are not completely fruitful; however the focal point is to rehabilitate these people . In my view , long prison sentences should be given in extreme cases such as murder and new measures should be developed by the government to help reduce crime !
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Feedback: Well tried, Approach is good, need to work on sentence formation, sentence types, & impactful related words.
Band: 3/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 7, 2021 at 8:06 PMCrime prevention is the attempt to reduce and deter crime and criminals. Governments all over the world are making concerted efforts to reduce crime, effectively enforce the law, and accurately administer criminal justice. However, the increasing number of criminals is of utter dismay to many and, thus, there are many ongoing debates about the punishment to be received by criminals.
In my opinion, I personally believe that not only do prisons aggravate criminal minds but also lack any kind of assurance about the recurrence of the crime. Hence, longer sentences served in prisons do not always solve the problem. The solution to such delinquency would simply be to pinpoint a particular problem and then seek remedial courses for the same. For example, a study conducted by the NYU Psychology department concluded that it was necessary for prisoners to lead a healthy, mentally and financially stable life after being released from prison.
However, on the other hand, there lies a well-justified argument for criminals to serve a longer period of time in prisons. Nowadays, well established modern prisons can be found in every nook and corner of the world. Every felonious antisocial is subjected to strict vigilance and surveillance, and their behavior is monitored around the clock. For example, Urban Wire conducted a survey and released a detailed, analyzed report stating that longer prison sentences may result in a positive change in behaviour.
To conclude, it is quite difficult to predict what could lead to criminal behaviours and whether they could possibly be corrected in the near future by various psychological efforts and studies which are being conducted by criminologists in many parts of the world.
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Feedback: Content is good with good use of related words but need to work on approach as both the points “Some & Others” couldn’t be seen mentioned rest use few more linking words to make an impact.
Band: 3.5/6-
and also try to avoid such examples, as it’ll be marked as memorized from the article.
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 7, 2021 at 8:07 PMCrimes of all sorts are on the rise. In addition to the older modus operandi of committing crimes there is also a significant surge in cyber crime these days. There is a belief among some people that the best way to lower crime rates is to keep the offenders in prison for longer periods of time while others are of the opinion that there are other more effective ways to reprimand criminals. This essay will shed light on both these aspects and talk about why i believe longer prison sentences cannot be completely disregarded.
Why do some people think that keeping an offender locked up foe longer durations would keep him/her from going astray again? One reason could be that when people are given rigorous and longer time sentences in prison this affects their psychology in a way that prevents them from indulging in or committing a crime again. For example, according to the CBI in New Orleans, there had been a significant drop in armed robberies when the punishment for it had been increased from 5 years to 10 years. This justifies the reasoning among people who believe that this method is beneficial.
In contrast, there are also some people in society who think that instead of longer durations of jailing people, some other method should be adopted. A very important factor for this sort of thinking could be the fact that governments are corrupt everywhere. Because of this, people who are rich or have better connections with higher authorities would come out of prison very early and as free men/women unscathed in their tendencies to commit crimes. This also becomes unfair to the poor or less influential. For instance, it had always been better to get the inmates to do social services throughout their term instead of just being locked up inside a cell. Therefore, the thought process of such people is also valid.
In conclusion, crime is a never-ending truth of humanity and there are different philosophies to curb this menace among people. Some are inclined towards a longer sentence policy whereas others think this as redundant and want better methods to be instituted. Personally, I think that though longer sentences are morally incorrect , they cannot be completely abolished as right now it is the best method to fight the ever rising problem of crime and criminals.
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Feedback: Approach is good, content is also expectable, try to avoid repetition of information as found in 1st para 2nd line & 2nd para 1st line about the “Offenders” rest in intro “Crimes of all sorts are on the rise” this needs to be improved. Need to work on word limit, sentence formation, & few more impactful vocabularies.
Band: 2.5/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 7, 2021 at 9:37 PMIn many countries crime ration are increasing day by day rather than going down. All countries want to be crime free and adopting different -different way to control and to be crime free. Many of them have strict punishment all depends on crime – like putting prisoner in bar for long duration it could be till last breath or for few years or in some crime hang till death.
In my opinion crime is crime whatever it is, to control all countries should categorized crimes. If it related to women, child harassments and few others like murder. All these type of crime should be in life time behind the bar or hang them for example as we know gulp countries have strict punishment for crime so crime ration is very low there. People are thinking twice or many times before committing such activity.
As now we are in technical world crime also changed, same way we can also control it and currently many countries are using it. Like increasing patrolling of security personal, installing CCTV cameras. One of best option could be we should tell our young generation and kids about crime and what should do or not. We can do it in another way by counselling them.
We are noticing some youngster want to rich in short while and they are commiting crime. For them government should organize some counselling and seminar.
I am sharing one incident one of my friend lost his mobile when he was going to his office in evening shift, some one found that and misused like made many calls to threat and asked for money and same time my friend made a police complain. It became very difficult find out that person. And finally with the help of technology police trace the device location and catch him and put behind the bar.
As we have top-notch technology and it can play a vital role to control crime. Even small social activity, theater show, some moral education and our old age people can help us to make better society mainly crime free.
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Feedback: Really need to work on grammatical range & grammatical accuracy as lot of grammatical errors & less use of sentence types found. also work on word limit as well as it should not go 280+.
Band: 2/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 7, 2021 at 9:51 PMCrimes have continuously increased in the last decade, be it theft, assault, murder, kidnapping or hijacking and more recently the cybercrimes. People from all around the world are trying to find an effective way to reduce these crimes.
A lot of people think that increasing the prison sentence will decrease the number of offenders in the long run whereas some believe other methods of punishment should be involved, like people who have committed shallow crimes for example stealing or defying the traffic rules they can be given community service, and the defaulters who are involved in serious offences like assault or murder, firstly for each of them a detailed evaluation of their mental status should be done and it should be analyzed that how much of a threat are they to our society rather than just giving a prison sentence there should be a method adopted that can evaluate weather they can be reintroduced to the society after their prescribed sentence.
Also, with the increase in cybercrime, there should be more efforts applied to catch them and give them an appropriate punishment which will not only let them learn their mistakes but also not to repeat in the future. A recent example of this is a student from Belarus was exiled from the country and he retaliated by causing mass conflict on a social platform, these types of offenders should be given a chance to learn from there mistakes rather than just giving them long prison sentences.
On the other hand, longer prison sentences may increase the fear among people and thus decrease the crime rate, also some people believe that it may overall help in developing the character of a person although it may take long period of time.
To conclude, it is important to analyze all the alternate methods of punishment and where it can be applied keeping in mind that justice is served.
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Feedback: Approach is acceptable, need to work on execution, sentence formation, few more linking words, impactful vocabularies and also avoid unnecessary spelling errors also work on word limit as well as it should not go 280+.
Band: 2/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 7, 2021 at 9:52 PMCrime is a sin committed by people to urge their inner desires, sometimes to stop the burning urge in order to bring them solace. However it is until it is committed, most of the people are not aware of its repercussions. Criminals are put behind the bars to contain their ongoing rage and make them pay for their crimes. This is still a perpetual debate as to how much of an impact it is on them.
After sentencing, the guilty is taken to prison to serve their sentence. It is not so surprising fact that there are more prisons in USA in comparison with the number of Universities . Now, has the crime rate decreased ? Well, The mass shootings in schools and churches, racial abuse and homophobia wouldn’t agree. This will answer the question “Is longer prison sentences the solution for putting crime under control?” This will only make their pain worse or make their life worthless after wasting their peak of age counting in prison. Not to mention Once they are out, time is a luxury they cannot afford anymore.
In retrospect, as longer sentences are not reaching the expectations of reducing crime rates, it is time to explore few alternatives put them under control. Now, Starting with the roots, Education. Educating students constantly to better handle their emotions and make them aware of their legal rights. Not only restricting to students, but also including the adults in this process, though using different methods like starting an awareness program, including immediate help and reminding to be kind to one another. As most of the ugly crimes are committed due to emotional trauma, everyone must be encouraged to visit the psychiatrist to deal with them and curb their emotions when necessary.
In conclusion, the rules and systems needs to evolve as to keep up with the ongoing tragedies and devise a proper plan to overcome them. As the traditional methods are not coming to the rescue, change is necessary.
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Feedback: Content is good but execution got failed as lot of formation errors & unnecessary grammatical errors found with no relevance shared as an example. Need to work on this also work on word limit as well as it should not go 280+.
Band: 2/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 7, 2021 at 10:05 PMCrime is a serious problem around the globe and mostly all countries are trying their best to lower the crime rate. A section of the society believes that offenders should be penalized with longer prison duration, while others and I opine that their are other beneficial ways like educating the people and providing them resources to earn their livelihood. This essay will discuss both view points.
To begin with, there are number of believers that the criminals should be put behind the bars for longer period of time so that person who had committed the crime and others should learn that these heinous acts will make them suffer in a dreadful way that discourages them from doing so. For Instance, in UAE, the punishment of theft and murder is so severe that a lawbreaker is sentenced to lifetime imprisonment resulting in making people think twice before committing serious crime. Hence, imposing strict punishment cease people from committing crimes.
However, I agree with the set of people who believes that alternative ways of facilitating people with education and employment will help to curb this issue far more effectively. Sufficient education to all and job opportunities will make the people busy in their life in such a way that they will stay away from ill thoughts. Moreover, citizens will have some goals in life which will cut them off to enact crimes. For example, my friend who was unemployed few years ago had started snatching chains and other valuable items from people. But thereafter he started working in Government Institute and now he is a responsible citizen of society only due to his job.
In conclusion, longer prison terms certainly creates fear in the minds of potential criminals and discourage them from committing crime. However, eradicating the root cause of crime by providing education and employment opportunities is a better option.
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Feedback: Very well executed information, approached both the points, need to work on few more impactful vocabularies & linking words, & also work on sentence formation “so that person who had committed the crime and others should learn that these heinous acts will make them suffer dreadfully that discourages them from doing so”, and also work on word limit.
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 7, 2021 at 10:32 PMCrime, the intentional commission of an act usually deemed socially harmful or dangerous and the world is an enigma of crime and to decrease it some people recommend implementing a longer prison sentence while other favour better alternatives that can reduce crime. Although, my viewpoint is similar to the latter statement.
There are numerous ways that can help in bringing down crimes, extracurricular activities like art, craft, gardening, listening to music can enhance a person that has been doing evil deeds. Government should encourage people to conduct awareness campaigns which in return will help in creating awareness among the commoners, employment opportunities should be available for people so that they don’t emerge into the world of crime, crime rate can be reduced by providing proper education and employment, awareness of good and evil should be taught to the common people to make the world a better place free of crime.
On the other hand, a prolonged prison sentence can bury a person’s hope, a hope that can change an evil person to a better one, the same routine of prison and its prevalent bullying lends a hand in destroying a person completely.
I would like to summarize the discussion by saying that crime rates can be reduced by teamwork. government and commoners both should work hand in hand to bring about awareness among people to reduce crime
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Feedback: Need to work on cohesive device, sentence formation, Grammatical range as less you use of sentence types found without any relevant example used & also work on word limit as it’s 227 words only instead 250+.
Band: 2/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 8, 2021 at 10:37 AMCommitting crime has become a serious problem for the country along with other major issues like poverty, unemployment etc. Giving longer period of prison sentence is favoured by some people while some of them believes that the criminals can be given better alternatives as a punishment. This essay will elaborate both the ways of reducing crime whereas I believe in giving them long stay in prisons.
There are very serious crimes people are committing like robbery, rape, chain snatching, drug supply etc. These people should be given very strict punishment so that they do not think of doing it again. Unemployment can be the reason folks are doing the crime whereas in some cases there are few devils who are earning well but still engage in criminal activities like rape, so proving them education or some other facility becomes irrelevant here. If the government already preset the punishment of the crimes and adhere to them strictly the person will not do that thinking about the consequences. For example: there is life time imprisonment if the person is indulged in any drug related crime in UAE.
On the other side, providing employment opportunities, educating people can be helpful in the reduction of crimes in few scenarios. The country will be developed if number of people will be well educated and they would have enough earnings to fulfill their basic needs.
In conclusion I would say that the fear of punishment in the respective minds can discourage and reduce the rate of transgression. This is far better option than educating and providing enough employment platforms to make people busy in their livelihood.
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Feedback: Simple language is used with limited sentence types however the content is good but execution got failed, few Grammatical errors found such as:
“some of them believes” , “who are earning well but still engage”, “The country will be developed if number of people will be well educated and they would have enough earnings to fulfill their basic needs.”
Need to work on these things rigorously.
Band: 2/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 8, 2021 at 10:53 AMNow a days we hear large number of crimes in news, some people claims that to decrease the crime rate longer prison sentences must be implemented, where as some people are with alternative ways to decrease the crime rate. In my opinion, I agree with the both scenarios to decrease the crime rate.
Firstly I support the longer prison sentences, because of the few criminals like terrorists. Those kind of criminals kills the common people without any reason. For instance, in 2013 there were number of terrorist attacks on common people in Hyderabad. Due to that attack many people lost their families. In my opinion there are no alternative ways to change these kind of criminals. However, In this case there is only way to decrease crime rate is longer prison sentences.
On the other hand, there are criminals who do robberies to feed their families and to take care of them. Government has to take a step and gather all these people at one place and need to create awareness among them and also provide employment to the criminals. Furthermore, they have to provide few facilities in prison like sports, physical exercise, meditation etc., to change them. These facilities may act upon them to change their daily routine and make them positive.
In Conclusion, Crime rate can be decreased in both ways. I would suggest that to educate the criminals like robberies about how to live the life without doing crimes. However, the criminals like terrorists must punish in prison for longer time.
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Feedback: Need to work on sentence formation, linking words, & unnecessary Grammatical errors such as: “some people claims”, “Those kind of criminals kills”, “these kind of criminals”,
no example found.
Band: 1.5/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 8, 2021 at 12:56 PMAround the world today, crime rate is increasing day by day, even though we have developed advanced technologies for reducing crime rates. It would not be a bad idea to say that crimes are increasing due to technology. Where, some individuals believe that extending lock-up period is the finest possible solution to reduce crime. Although, some human being think that there are other paths to decrease crime.
On the one hand, providing the sentence for the longer number of years is the probable best way for criminal, so that he/she will has some time to think about what he/she had done wrong in his/her life. It is possible that he/she will change his/her life approach, after spending years in one closed place. Personally, i have seen lots of people becoming good civilian after their sentence. But, there can be more than one solution of any problem.
Due to lack of primary education, people cannot keep up with the current world and so, they start to make crimes to fulfill their basic needs and desires. Better education can bring the person from the wrong track to the right one through guiding them. So, education can play huge role in reducing crimes.
Why should we have to sentence criminals, while we can send them to the rehabilitation center? Consultants can help them to guide to make their life goals clear. Also, we can improve our security systems to stop the crime before it occurs. After putting CCTV cameras at possible theft places, it will be easy to solve some cases.
In conclusion, i would support the second approach because it is better to mend someone with impact of words than torturing. Government should make some changes in laws to apply this approach, so that it would be fair to us and the criminals.
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Feedback : Introduction could be better.
On the one hand, providing the sentence for the longer (more/ longer period) number of years is the probable best way for criminal, so that he/she will has(have) some time to think about what he/she had done wrong in his/her life. It is possible that he/she will change his/her life approach, after spending years in one closed place. Personally, i (I)have seen lots of people becoming good civilian after their sentence. But, there can be more than one solution of any problem.
Consultants can help them to guide (them) to make their life goals clear.
Need to apply grammatical range and accuracy.
Work on Lexical resources
No example found.
Band : 2.5/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 14, 2021 at 8:23 PMCrime is a serious challenge across the globe and all countries are trying to deal with this pressing issue . The fear among the innocent people has forced the authority to give stronger punishment to those who committed a crime. some people believe that giving longer prison sentence to prisoners is a right solution and others insist alternative ways will be more effective and I lay my thoughts alongside the alternative ways as well.
To begin with, many people believe that offenders should be punished with long prison sentences because this methodology will create fear among the criminals and will discourage them to commit any crime in future. For example, in the UAE, the rapist and the murderer usually get lifetime prison sentences, resulting in making people think twice before committing any serious crime. Hence, imposing strict punishment deters people from committing heinous atrocities.
However, I believe that alternative ways such as providing proper education facilities and employment can solve the issues far more effectively Sufficient education and job opportunities keep the masses occupied and away from commiting criminal activities
In conclusion, longer prison terms certainly instill fear in the minds of potential criminals and discourage them from committing offences. However, eradicating the root cause of crime by providing education and employment opportunities is a far better option.
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Feedback : As the task demands, need to write atleat 250 words. The second body paragraph should state what “others” believe than your own opinion -“However, I believe” wouldn’t be appropriate here. Own opnion should be explained in different body paragraph or in the conclusion part.
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJune 15, 2021 at 10:18 PMCrimes have increased to a great extent in the current day ranging from juvenile to massive cyber crimes.While certain section of people associate reduced number of crimes by increasing the criminal’s imprisonment whereas there are others who believe criminalist behaviour can be changed implementing different ways to combat it.In my opinion, we should adopt multiple ways to fight this concern which will eventually prevent further mishaps in occurring.
Kleptomania is seen in many people which is caused due to an underlying health issue.Most often, the person stealing neither has the intention nor is aware of the fact that he is going to steal.In such situations, punishments does not treat the issue but counselling and psychological medications enable them to lead a normal life.In most researches that have been done on criminal minds, it is found that childhood trauma is one of the major cause where extreme poverty and inhumanness faced by children right from their young age induces criminal thoughts to survive tough times.
Providing shelter homes and a job to sustain gives wrong doers a sense of wellbeing and this motivates them to refrain from doing crimes.Education plays a pivotal and a vital role as it makes one aware of the hazards crimes can cause to themselves and the society.Sometimes, it is also observed certain crimes are done to gain societal respect that was denied for various reasons.Hence, showing some respect changes their mentality towards crimes.
To summarise, punishment should not be adopted as the only way to surmount high criminal rates but finding different ways to fight this concern will help individuals and the society as whole in eradicating crimes. However, it is important to admit that criminals should pay a penance for their deeds.
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who believe criminalist (criminal) behaviour can be changed implementing different ways to combat it.
punishments does (do) not treat the issue
childhood trauma is one of the major cause (causes)
Feedback : Avoid making grammatical errors especially work subject-verb agreement. Usage of cohesive devices could have embellished the essay even better.
Band : 3.5/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJuly 3, 2021 at 1:11 PMNo one wants to live in a place with high crime rate. Whatever may be the motive behind these criminal activities, it is the duty of the respective Government to control such lawbreakers. Few people believe that more prison time can help to sort this crisis while others argue that there are other improved methods to punish the wrongdoers. In this essay, we will see how crime rates can be reduced by adopting different methods including jail time.
Crimes can be categorised into different types. Punishments for heinous crimes like murder, rape or sex abuse and other petty crimes like pick pocket and shoplifting should not be the same. Convicts of terrible crimes especially sex abusers and murderers with history should be punished with life imprisonment. However, if the authorities or the law makers believes that jail time is the only solution for any crime then they will end up in building prisons alone instead of primary development for the nation. A huge chunk of public money is being spent on maintenance, security, food, and transportation of convicts. To control criminal activities, instead of using only longer prison hours other alternatives should be adopted
More than 50% of the wrongdoers arrested are for minor crimes. Lawbreakers who are arrested for such petti crimes should be penalised with mandatory social service hours or extended manual labour for state development like building a community hall project. By this way, the state can not only extract some useful work from such criminals but also divert the resources to other needy sectors.
In conclusion, it is important to reduce the unlawful activities for the betterment of any nation. While some countries still adopt Prison time as their way of punishment for all crimes, I believe that the lawmakers should decide upon the type of the punishment depending on the crime level by utilising different form of punishments.
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJuly 4, 2021 at 11:15 PMWhile a section of the society opines that increasing jail time is the most appropriate measure to deal with increasing crime rates, the other half thinks there greater techniques to deal with this issue. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in addition to my opinion that long-term solutions should be considered before resorting to quick fixes.
To begin with, it is believed that when prison sentences are longer, people might think twice before committing a crime. When one knows beforehand that they might end up in jail for most of their lives after breaking the law, they might not go ahead with their plans. However, this is a quick fix and might be abortive. As usually, criminals harbor poor judgment skills. More so, some might even commit felonies just for the thrill. For instance, even though murder is illegal and can result in lifetime imprisonment, there are people who commit this horrendous activity just for the high.
Moreover, it is often seen that people who break the law belong to economically backward families. Crime like gang activities, murders, bank looting, often become a means of survival for such people. Thus, by creating more job opportunities the requirement to resort to illegal ways of assembling resources will diminish. Opening up new factories in rural areas can provide jobs to thousands of workers and make their living comfortable. Also, the availability of weapons like shotguns has given rise to terrorist activities and mass killings. It is thereby crucial that a license should be given only after a thorough evaluation. What’s more, mass shootings in schools in the USA have cost the lives of hundreds of children all over the year causing many states to ban gun ownership.
To conclude, a two-fold approach should be obtained to lessen the prevalence of crime. In my opinion, increasing the number of years served in jail is only futile as most of these criminal masterminds never think before acting.
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Feedback : Well executed, right approach , good examples. However, proofreading is advised to avoid minor mistakes.
Band score : 5/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJuly 19, 2021 at 11:39 AMNowadays, Criminal offence is a major issue across the globe. Although, people believe punishing criminals for a long duration will decrease the offence. However, others believe skill training and earning will enhance their efficiency and responsibility for the family, also (will) improve their social image. This essay will explain both aspects in detail with an enclosed conclusion.
To begin with, researchers have found most of the prisoners are recaptured because of regular crime, due to which they stay long in prisons. In some countries, long term imprisonment punishment, frightened (Frighten) the criminal because of strict rules and regulations. For example, UAE, a famous country for managing the crime ratio believe in clear justice. As a result, a person has committed (commits) a crime, he/she should be in prison for lifetime or killed by the police officers depending upon the crime.
On the other hand, European countries where criminal rules are imposed differently. For example, installing an ankle monitoring system for prisoners. This will allow (allows) them to work freely and the wrong movement subsequently, sends a radio frequency signal to police for further action. This feature has declined the crime rate because criminals are imposed to work hard and learn new skills. Countries like India, China, and Africa where crime ratio is higher, hence government (is) are training prisoners in (to) developing (develop) skill and earn livelihood for families. Work like cleaning, computer knowledge, electrician, plumbing, cooking food, cutting wood, and handmade utensils manufacturing are done in jail to earn a basic income.
In conclusion, the government should implement strict policy along with a work plan to reduce crime all over the world.
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Feedback: Good use of content with range of sentences, need to work on unnecessary grammatical errors as found multiples highlighted in bold & impactful related words to boost the score. Rest was fine. Keep practicing.
Band: 3/6
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NIKITA MALI
GuestAugust 2, 2021 at 1:43 PMCrime is a serious worldwide issue that deserves public attention. A section of the society believes that prison sentences for a longer duration can help reduce the crime, while others disagree and argue that there are other better ways to solve this. This essay agrees with the argument that alternative ways such as educating people and giving them resources to earn are far more beneficial than confining them to a prison cell. This essay will discuss both aspects.
To begin with, many people believe that offenders deserve strict punishment because they need to pay for the crime committed. There are benefits of giving offenders longer prison punishment. Firstly, spending long time in prison provides an opportunity to rethink what they did. For example, if someone did the crime than he/she should provide re-education in prison so that he/she realize its mistake. A culprit who had done some crime. But when he came back from prison he had totally changed. As now, he is working and supporting his family financially and turned his life around. Secondly, if offenders are in prison which is far from society there might be possibility of reduction of crime in society.
However, some people are against that leaving people in prison for long time means they will mix with other criminals so their character will not improve. As when mixed with other criminals they get bad influence and might increase the chances of committing crime again. Some culprit does minor crime such as stolen something, and those people should not get long prison sentence. For instance, a boy stole a T-shirt from shop because he didn’t have much money to buy cloths. Hence, I think those type of offenders should not be put on prisons instead should be in NGO supervision.
In conclusion, long prison sentences should remain for those who commit heinous crime such as murder and rape as discourage them from committing offences. Furthermore, eradicating the root cause of crime by providing education and employment opportunities.
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserAugust 11, 2021 at 5:12 AMCrime is a serious issue across the globe. In addition to this, the crime rate is increasing day by day. A section of society believes that long imprisonment is the feasible solution to bring down crimes. Whilst other people consider that crime reduction is possible with other alternative ways. This essay will look into both opinions with viable examples. Such as crime reduction with severe punishments and with other alternatives like education and employment.
To commence with, the Longer period of imprisonment is susceptible to change in offenders. This phenomenon can invoke fear among other criminals. If a person is already aware of the intensity of punishment before committing an abysmal act it will deterrent him from becoming a criminal. For example, for the crimes of murder or rape, the punishment is death to a sentence or life imprisonment. so that, masses are really scared to commit these kinds of crimes. Resulting in making people think twice before committing any serious crime. Imposing strict punishment discourages people from committing atrocities.
on the other hands, An alternative ways such as educating people and providing employment can also control the crime rate. Moreover, The majority of humans who are performing cruel acts are uneducated and unemployes (unemployed). If they get sufficient guidance towards education and job opportunities keep the masses busy and away from the crimes. For example, If we consider a city with 100 % education resulting in more employment and fewer crimes.
In conclusion, Severe punishment for a crime having a great impact on the people who are going to commit a mistake. However, there are many ways to bring down crimes such as education, which can eradicate the ferocity in society.
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Feedback: Very well written, Good use of cohesive devices along with good content to describe the information, approach is good, need to work on unnecessary errors highlighted in bold.
Band: 4.5/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserAugust 18, 2021 at 11:27 AMOften many people believe to downsize the transgression rate, it is necessary to implement longer prison sentences while on the other hand many believe that there are other alternatives for the same. In this essay we will be looking at my point of view on both the sides of the argument
To begin with longer prison sentences, I believe it plays a significant role in reducing the crime rate. Criminal who has committed a crime will have a natural propensity to repeat the same if not punished and looked after, forsaking such criminal with minor punishment will exacerbate the situation by encouraging the criminal to commit it again. Longer prison sentences means a criminal has to be in a close room for years which means he will be divested from his freedom of movement thus making him realise the crime he has committed. Experiencing the freedom once he is out won’t let him to commit a crime and face the similar consequences. For a instances a recent study from Indian Psychological Department says that the most wanted criminal on Mumbai after serving 15 years of long term imprisonment has completed changed into a good citizen
Moreover, apart from longer imprisonment other factors should also be taken under consideration like increasing awareness amongst people like showing documentaries of a diabolic person about how he ended up his life. Also, including a lesson in academic curriculum of children would also have a great impact as children are ingenuous and can be easily moulded for good. For example, looking at Japan who has increased the awareness in their country about criminals through the above exercises, the TOI report says, its criminal record has decreased to 10% as compare to last decade. So I believe that looking into such activities is equally important
In my opinion, I believe that along with longer imprisonment other activities like increasing awareness should also be taken in consideration to reduce the criminal rate
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserAugust 23, 2021 at 8:11 PMIt is believed by some people that if long punishments are given to the criminals then crime will be reduced. Does that really happen? Others think that there can be other better ways to bring down the crime but what are those ways? Let us have a look at both approaches.
Indeed, hard punishments, given to the lawbreaker, results in a panic feeling in other people who are involved in some crime. For instance, people, who are being charged with not paying income tax, terrifies the other people who are doing the same thing. As a consequence, some people gradually start paying the income tax regularly. Moreover, some people, after completing their long period in prison, values their life more than before. But is the long sentences actually decreasing the number of crimes?
Rather than always giving long imprisonment, efforts are being made to look over the reason of the crime. For example, many people end up doing the robbery because of the financial crunch their family is going through. Therefore, if we know the reason for the crime by doing the counseling of the criminals then steps can be taken to eliminate that reason. Hence, there are chances of lowering down the count of crime in a country.
I personally believe measures taken for the culprit depend on the crime he/she did. For example, we cannot just depend on the counseling for the rapist, rather serious punishment should be given to him. I feel that both opinions are correct and will help in reducing crime unless it is taken care that both the approaches are followed in a strict manner.
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Feedback: Very well written. Approach is good with relevant content. Words and Cohesive devices are also well used. Need to work on examples and conclusion as there is no requirement to write example while concluding the discussion rest is good.
Band: 4/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserNovember 1, 2021 at 11:46 AMHello @falak Ma’am,
This is Arka Ghosh.Here is my answer.Please do share feedback.
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Feedback : Be careful with subject -verb agreement – The rate of crimes are (is) increasing
Marjor (Major)
Make use of cohesive devices to make the information more clear (to show contrast or to support the details)
opening statement of body paragraph 2, could be more effective (as it is what other section of society thinks)
We can aware such people ( such people can be made aware) – avoid we, our, us , you etc. until and unless your opinion is being asked as it tends to informal tone.
It is mentioned in the introduction that writer agrees on former statement , however conclusion is in accordance with latter one.
Work on sentence structure
No examples found
Band : 2.5/6
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJanuary 5, 2022 at 10:57 PMEvery country in the world has different approach to reduce crime rates and it’s totally depends on the level of violations going in the city.
Due Technology the crime has taken different path ways,Governments should come up new ideas in order to tackle the crime rate. Now a days most of the youth are being to attracted to do law breaking things and making them to think like a heroic frame.
In recent studies in some of the towns crime rate drastically reduced by implementation of friendly policing,but these kind of services are not good for every city. Social organisation,governments, law and human protection firms should come up with work shops or awareness videos or programs that would helps alot to the society to change the mindset of individual person.
In my opinion, everyone should take equal responsibility to control the crime rate in society.
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJanuary 5, 2022 at 11:09 PMWhile we are scrolling through the news channels on our television, majority of them are telecasting crime news at some point of time. It can be asked whether there is increment in the rate of offence or else a greater number is being detected. However, people argue on the effective measures to reduce crime in our society. While some believe that strict punishments can reform a criminal, others trust lenient approach to be more powerful. In this essay we will discuss the pros and cons of both the aspects.
Fear of longer punishment forces a person to become a law abiding citizen. When an individual is aware of the consequences of his action and moreover, knows what is at stake, he thinks twice before committing any offence. For example, when government had increased the duration of imprisonment for rape from 3 years to 10 years, there was rapid decrease in the incidence that year. Thus, increasing prison sentence can reduce the occurrence of crime as no one wants to stay in a languished condition.
On the contrary, it is also important to find alternative methods to reform criminals. A large number of prisoners commit a crime under a particular situation. Thus, it is important to contemplate the root cause of the act committed and to decide punishment based on them. Moreover, they can be sent to reformation homes or enrolled in vocational trainings. To illustrate one such example, a Canadian prisoner Andrew Whales studied Law while he was in prison for a false theft complaint and later he emerged as a renowned Criminal Lawyer of the state. Therefore, if given adequate opportunities even criminals can malleate a bright future.
In my opinion, although strict punishments are justified for heinous crimes but for offenders who commit a crime under some need, their situation should be taken into consideration and judged accordingly.
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJanuary 6, 2022 at 1:20 AMTo reduce the crime some, agree the best solution is to give a longer sentences while at the same time in other perspective they think there are another better way. In my opinion, I believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Here in this easy we will discuss the both side and state my belief.
Here, I will discuss why longer prison sentences are not effective at certain instance in majority part of the world. This is because the most of suspect who been accused for the crime is not going to change their nature of attitude unless they have literal fear inside them. Due to which, most of the criminal tend to do the same mistake which they have done before. For example, In INDIA 95% of extreme illegal cases have put for longer prison sentence but, still as per crime survey report on 2018 it has gone up by 1.6% each year. That’s why the longer prison sentences will not help in reducing the case.
On the other side if we can modify the existing system in an effective way might help in reducing the crime rates. To Improvise we need to implement faster/instant solution which could help in reducing the crime rates. Such as laying heavy penalties with prison sentence or immediate execution for extreme violence in according to proof of evidence which will cause all the criminal minded people to think second time to repeat the same mistake. Such as in most part of the GCC countries the rate of criminal activity rate is very low compared to our country. So a strict abiding law will let all people to think twice before attempting any illegal activities.
In conclusion we need to alter the older version system to new one that could ease to reduce the daily crime rate and also help all our citizens to walk free without fear even in the middle of the night.
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Unknown Member
Deleted UserJanuary 19, 2022 at 8:58 PMThe Constitution of every countries empowers governments to impose rigorous punishment like longer prison sentences for habitual offenders or for serious crimes. Some people feel that longer sentences are the only option to create fear amongst offenders, which would result in a reduction in crime. On the other hand, some belief, there are other alternatives that can be opted for reducing the crime. In the succeeding paragraph, I have given detailed reasons in relation to both views.
First of all the fear of longer prison or rigorous punishment has a negative correlation with a particular type of crime. A number of cases of crime, where the punishment of longer prison is given as per law are less in comparison to where no strict punishment is there. For Eg:- Number of cases of killing someone in comparison to the theft cases is very less.
Secondly, there are so many moral ways one can opt for reducing the crimes like- quality education, counseling session, and social awareness meetings. Increasing the prison period will temporarily halt the problem, however increasing the standard of living of society will guide multiple generations for not indulging in crime. For Eg- Sentences for murder cases are 20 years and after that, the same person will be involved in the same kind of activities. On the other hand, if he in the first instance not involved in this due to awareness it will reduce the crime significantly.
To conclude, i strongly agree with the view that multiple available options should be adopted to reduce crime rather than increase prison time.
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