[E Anjali]

I strongly agree that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. Upbringing of a vibrant generation requires children to be actively participating in all activities instead of spending hours with gadgets.

With the growing pace in technology since the advent of computers our lifestyle demands certain changes among which the internet and upgrading gadgets plays an inevitable role. This growing technology has impact in affecting hobbies and cause behavioral changes in children. Computer games undoubtedly is on of the reasons for children’s abysmal performance in school. Gadget addiction in children is one of the serious issues ignored by most parents. Children are often condoned by their parents and become complacent towards their health.

In most cases children often never experience the conducive environment provided by outdoor activities essential for not only joy but also for maintaining good health. Moreover, ferocity of modern games can negatively impact the moral development of a child. For instance, children nowadays are ignorant to their basic responsibilities such as maintaining cleanliness of their room or even their home. To put it more simply children are growing lazy sitting idle in front of computer games.

Parents must be made aware that children are more susceptible to gadget addiction. Schools can take initiatives in creating awareness of hazards of computer game addiction. Above all in most cases it’s never too late to save children from gadget addiction since their minds are malleable for new hobbies to be cultivated.

[Vamsi Krishna]

In the current pandemic, most of the employees are working from home. Due to this parents and kids are staying at home only. If both parents are working no proper care for children. So that parents condone the children to use mobiles for playing games. Personally, I partially agree with the statement.

Firstly, outdoor activities give mental and physical health. If children go out and play with the group will improve their social skills. With outdoor activities, we know the skills of the children that we can encourage them to the next level. Children who are playing computer games alone aren’t socially good. In recent years we have seen some children attempted suicide after playing the game “Blue Whale”.

Secondly, parents should watch what their kids are doing on the computer and mobile, if possible, blocking the ferocious content is good. Encourage them to watch advent content.

In conclusion, under parent’s surveillance kids should use computers or mobile phones. On the weekend take out your children to the nearest grouds play some games.

[Falak]

Feedback : need to focus on sentence structure, try to use variety of structures ( complex, compound etc.) . Transition words are missing . Vocabulary needs to be more sophisticated. Be cautious with prepositions. As “partially agree” essay, second body paragraph could be more elaborative.

Band : 1.5/6

[Shoaib]

Firstly, I would like to define that outdoor activities are including different types of physical games like cricket, football, badminton, hockey, etc., and as we know that current period is known as IT revolutionary and they are so many developments in apps and computer gaming. As concern the topic, I am strongly agreed that physical games are more beneficial as compared to computer gaming. I am enlightened about the conducive benefits of outdoor activities and the disadvantages of computer gaming in the below paragraph.

As we know that outdoor activities playing a very crucial role in the development of our children. It keeps our children healthy and they saved from so many diseases including heartbeat problems, issues related to back muscle pains, diabetes, eyesight, etc. when children play outdoor games its makes them strong and healthy. Our children make physical interactions with other similar age fellows and make new friends. Through this association, they learned that how to behave, react and adopt norms & values of society. Apart from, if children are playing different games, then its help them to do the exercise of all their bodies parts and their muscles become very strong and active. If children are playing outdoor games daily then they feel more healthy, vulnerable, and fresh as compared to others. It has been observed that these children are more intelligent and execute physical task swiftly as compared to other children those are spending most of the time at computer games.

Nowadays, we are mostly dependent on advanced technology. Our children are spending most of their time playing computer games. It’s really affecting their mental health as well creating a lot of health issues at a very younger age. There are two main diseases found in our children including lower back pains and depression. However, it also affects their education and learning activities because most of the time they are spending at computer games.

In conclusion, it has been observed that outdoor games are very beneficial for our children to develop as a concern to health issues and adopt the norms and values of the society for their future life. We agreed that advancement in technology brings a lot of innovation and learning activities for our children but excessive used of these brings a lot of issues related to mental health and as well physical health.

[Robin]

Nowadays the children are showing more interest towards the computer games than outdoor activities. In my opinion this is a rather dangerous trend developing. Outdoor activities are always more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. Let us discuss why computer games are such a bad alternative to outdoor activities.

As we are becoming dependent on technology since the advent of computers, our recreational activities are also becoming dependent on computers. Children especially is more inclined towards social media rather than actual socializing and computer games than actual physical games. The major part of brain development in humans happen in childhood itself. Childhood is the time when our cognitive, social and emotional skills gets developed, hence it is essential for children of to have interaction with outside world and participate in group recreational activities like arts and sports at this age.

Computer games can never be a substitute for actual outdoor activities. Outdoor activities provide a conducive environment for maintaining good health whereas computer games impact health in an adverse way since it restricts movement and keeps the children glued to their screens. This leads to eye problems, stress, digestion issues, fat accumulation and retarded muscle growth. Since children are more interested in games, they become complacent towards their health. Children becomes addicted to computer games and ignore their studies and lessen the interaction with friends and family. Computer games may be responsible for children’s abysmal performance in school.

In addition to the health problems it creates for children, excessive computer gaming also changes their perception of real world. As children’s minds are malleable, the violent games and the attitude of winning by any means, makes their behavior unsympathetic and non-adjustable to society. The ferocity of the modern games can negatively impact the moral development of a child. Their conscience gets developed in such a way that fighting or killing is viewed as normal and all they care is to defeat the opponent by any means. Furthermore they also find it hard to digest failures and setbacks. It is high time to impose strict censorship and restrictions on computer games for children.

It can be noted that parents, among them working parents in particular, often condone the activities of their children. Since children are more susceptible to certain illnesses than adults are, their physical activities and interaction with outside world are essential for the development of resistance power in their bodies. People getting premature heart diseases and premature diabetes in their young age itself is a common sight today. Turning a blind eye towards this issue will impact our society as a whole.

In conclusion, it is evident that substituting outdoor activities for computer games impacts the mental and physical health of children in a negative way and affects the whole society directly and indirectly. Hence, it is very essential to foster the habit of participating in outdoor activities among the children.

[rahul]

There are numerous thought whether children’s should play outside of their home or inside house playing desktop games for their entertainment. As per my opinion offspring should come out of their house, interact with their friends, and started play games for their development.

Firstly, if the student play outdoor games than there are higher chances that their confidence level will be built up by interacting with the multiple people and in Conducive environment, they will be physically strong. A recent study in Europe has predict that the teenagers who spent time on outdoor activities are physically as well as mentally stronger from the other children who spend most of the time on computers. Even sitting for longer duration on the laptop will result in the weakness of their eyesight and sometime depression as the student cannot be able to share their feelings and thought with the other person.

Secondly, now a days in 21st century we mostly dependent on the technology for our work due to which people Susceptible to various diseases like Diabetes, Blood Pressure at the early stage which cannot be stopped but there are chances that we should encourage our children’s to spent time in Parks and stop playing on the Mobile as their mind are Malleable but not for so long.

To summaries, I must say students should start taking participation in the outdoor activities like playing cricket, football or race which is not good for them only but for the country also. As if the student has interest in particular field than he can make his career in that game and won medal for their country.

[deepti]

Outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. While many would contend this, I strongly believe that outdoor activities provide conducive environment for the child mental and physical health.

Technology has taken over whole world let alone children. We are becoming dependent on technology since the advent of computers. Children these days are much more smarter and sharper when it comes to using any gadget or online application. They are getting lure towards virtual world. With this Pandemic, schools being shut classes are converted into online classes which requires them to spend more time online. While there is no doubt that it is helping them to complete their learning but simultaneously it has an adverse effect on their health. With the restriction of staying at home children are spending more time on TV, Phones, computers and playing games.

Playing games on computer increases the chances of weakening eyesight and fatigue and children become complacent towards their health. Many computer games like Pub G and temple run becomes an addiction and children do not want to waste a single minute off these games. Parents must be very meticulous while allowing their children to use internet. It should have restricted access or password. They should give strict timeline to them for playing online games.

Outdoor activities help building confidence. A child will learn new sports and will get to interact with children of different ethnicity. Many games teach how to work as a group, sportsmanship, they also learn the concept of sharing which is very important if he/she is a single child. It also helps them realizing excess energy. Any outdoor sports are a good physical exercise which helps in physical, mental development of a child.

To summarize, outdoor activities are undoubtedly a winner. Hence, it is very imperative to develop the habit of it as it helps in overall development of children.

[Rini]

Technology is changing so rapidly and people are glued to the technical assets they own including children devoting most of their time in front of computer games instead of basking in the sun and involving in outdoor activities.I strongly believe that playing outside is advantageous for a child’s development when compared to abysmal effects of being hooked all day playing computer games

What we do during our childhood days take us a long way in our old age because the way we train our body and mind when we are young help us tackle problems while we age.In this context, when youngsters get involved in outdoor activities, a massive amount of their energy is spent and this improves their metabolism eventually reducing the risk of developing health issues. They also start to binge on proteinaceous food their parents prepare as their energy is famished by the time they return home.Further more, it improves their stamina and provides nourishment for their physical development.

In addition to developing good physical health, the psychological wellbeing is also an important factor and children gain these benefits when they involve in team games.They understand the flavours of both success and failure which will help them to be complacent to any disturbing situation.Life skills are very important and most children attain them when they play with friends and teammates elevating their cooperation and adaptability skills.

In conclusion, outdoor activities holistically develop a child’s wellbeing.Nevertheless, it is important to strike a balance between playing outside and playing computer games considering the fast pace the world is changing and the malleability children possess.

[Abhi]

For youngsters growth, few masses assert that outdoor activities are more favorable than playing computer games. I fully <roshu>accept this as true with </roshu>this given statement, <roshu>and in my opinion</roshu> outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development.

To initiate with, <roshu>there are many advantages </roshu>of playing outdoor activities. The first and foremost <roshu>is that the </roshu>enhancement in <roshu>fitness </roshu>. To elaborate, if juvenile playing <roshu>athletic game </roshu>, <roshu>they will </roshu>increase their physical strength and endurance. However, kids also feel energetic as they manage their time <roshu>for enjoying </roshu>outdoor games. As a result, games like cricket, hockey, and football which boost the physical fitness. Apart from this, if youngsters are playing outdoor activities, they can maintain their nutrition diet because without proper nutrition outdoor games are not possible to play. Proper diet also <roshu>cause </roshu>disease free lifestyle <roshu>which can </roshu>be possible by outdoor activities.

Moreover, another major benefit of playing outdoor activities. The primary one is acquire social skills. To explain, if a child <roshu>leaves </roshu>for doing any activity, <roshu>they create </roshu>new friends which develops the social skill <roshu>of youngsters </roshu>. Furthermore, this skill can help them in the future. As a result, if a child <roshu>attends </roshu>park <roshu>day to day </roshu>, they acquire a lot of things : discipline, teamwork and punctuality. To cite an example, Ms Dhoni, who was the captain of Indian cricket, has good communication skills which can help him to become a good player.

In conclusion, playing outdoor activities has certain benefits in terms of enhancement in physical fitness and acquiring social skills respectively.

[Abhi]

For youngsters growth, few masses assert that outdoor activities are more favorable than playing computer games. I fully agree with this given statement, and I believe that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development.

To initiate with the benefits of playing outdoor activities. The and foremost is the enhancement in physical fitness. To elaborate, if juvenile playing outdoor game, they can increase their physical strength and endurance. Kids feel energetic as they manage their time for playing outdoor games. games like cricket, hockey, and football which boost the physical fitness. Apart from if youngsters playing outdoor activities, they can maintain their nutrition diet because without proper nutrition outdoor games are not possible to play.

Proper diets lead to disease free lifestyle which may be possible by outdoor activities. Another major benefit of playing outdoor activities. The primary one is acquire social skills. To explain, if child go out for doing any activity, they make new friends which develops the social skill of children. Skills can help them in the future. If a child go to park on daily basis, they acquire a lot of things : discipline, teamwork and punctuality. To cite an example, Ms dhoni, who was the captain of Indian cricket, he has good communication skills which can help him to become a good player.

In conclusion, playing outdoor activities has certain benefits in terms of enhancement in physical fitness and acquiring social skills respectively.

[Raghav]

A few people are of the opinion that playing physical sports are more beneficial for a child’s development than computer games. In my viewpoint while computer games can keep children protected and secure, indulging in outdoor activities can add a lot of health benefits and skills, which are beneficial in the long run.

Detractors of the statement would discuss the safety advantages of playing indoor games where children do not have to step out of their houses and parents can easily monitor them. Children going out and playing are generally susceptible to a lot of wounds, injuries etc which are common while playing. Moreover, parents have insecurities like children might be exposed to crimes such as kidnappings or murders. Although all these are valid concerns for parents because of the unconditional love they have for their children, these are not very common.

Playing outdoor games can provide a conductive environment for maintaining good health. While playing sports it is a great cardiovascular exercise for children, it positively impacts a child’s mental health as they can get some time of their studies and feel independence and freedom for some time, where there is no one to instruct them what to do and what no to. They also benefit from learning the new life skills which they learn from different sports for example, playing cricket together teaches teamwork, football teaches coordination etc. We have generally seen children who play outside are more friendly, adaptive, and readily helpful others who play indoor games are more introverts and less social.

In conclusion, although computer games can keep one’s child safe it does not provide them with the advantages of good physical and mental health and some life characteristics. Local governments should take initiative of making safe and secure playing zones, parks for children so that more parents are encouraged to send their children outdoor to play.

[Jasmeet]

It is often argued by some people that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. I completely agree with the given statement. The following essay will discuss the benefits of outdoor activities over indoor games played by the children.

Outdoor activities provide a conducive environment for maintaining good health and strength. Naturally Vitamin D is absorbed by the youngsters when are out. It fosters the process of metabolism and digestion whereas the indoor games negatively impact the moral development of a child and they become complacent towards their health. It also enhances their mental health. The more they will utilize their time outside playing with friends the more they will learn social skills, engaging in different activities will help them to learn sharing skills too which will surely help them in future.

On the other hand, the indoor games played by the youngsters are more susceptible to certain illness than adults are. The more time engaging in indoor activities is one of the key reason pupils are suffering from obesity these days. Computer games may be responsible for children’s abysmal performance in school. For example, children spending ample time on screen are unable to focus on their studies in school due to various health issues which include eyes strain, back pain, being lethargic.

All in all, parents play a vital role in their child’s health. Spending time with them in outdoor games and making them understand the importance will surely encourage them as children’s minds are malleable.

[Faizal]

[Shyam]

Activity and games are immunity booster for children. Both outdoor activity and computer games have their advantages and disadvantages. But from my point outdoor is more strengthening and fruitful in spite of computer games. Below I will explain my thought.

As modern era is of technology and children are bending more toward games like free fire, puzzles and word match dictionary and many others. No doubt, games on the gadgets are enhancing their IQ also making them aggressive as well, which itself is dangerous. But parents can keep eyes on them at home.

On other side outdoor activity has numerous advantages. Children and adult who play outdoor games like cricket, soccer, badminton, basketball teach them teamwork with coordination, swimming, lawn tennis and chess are individual and strengthen their concentration. Children who plays any games have better fitness as compare to those are not part of any physical activities. With outdoor games they are disciplined, learn teamwork, punctuality, no laziness(prompt in action), socially active as well. Outdoor activity provide them good environment, fresh air and also maintain good health. But children safety, harassment and kidnapping are main concern in outdoor activities.

At end, outdoor activities are more fruitful to make them strong mentally and physically. Rather than spending time on games on computer we must motivate new generation for outdoor games.

[Shyam]

These days many children are glued to their computer and cellphone. It is not a positive development because when they spend many hours of whole day playing games on computer, tablet or gaming console, they will develop many health problem even may develop behavioral changes. In my view, it is more beneficial for children to spend time in outdoor activity or games rather than gadgets.

Outdoor games are good for children. They make them strong and fitter. Children who play games are healthier. They are also less likely to involve in anti-social activities. Outdoor games need more individual performance and team as well. When children play games like cricket, soccer, basketball learn social and management skills as how to work as a part of team. When they play lawn tennis, badminton, chess and swimming improve itself with eye, hand with mind coordination. All indoor and outdoor games always works as a immunity booster. It also has less drawback with fear in parent mind about children safety from kidnapping, injuries and harassment.

On the other side, children who spend the whole time indoors will most probably spend overwhelming hours in front of the TV, mobile device or computer. It may lead to several health problems like eye-sight, anger, aggressive, obesity and diabetes. These children may also find it difficult to interact with others. Also, Internet has many unexpected inappropriate material, when they spend a lot of time on their computer, they are more likely to be exposed. All of these factors can have an adverse impact on their physical and psychological well-being. But today era is of technology so it is also fruitful for them to learn about computer.

To summarize, it is not hard to see that there are several benefits to engaging in outdoor activities. Parents should not allow children to waste their whole time on electronic devices like computer, tablet, mobile and kindle. Parents should motivate their children for outdoor games and less on technology over computer as well.

[Admin]

Feedback: Much better than earlier in terms of Grammar but need to work on formation and Grammar a lot, no example was found & words are also 300+ as it should be up to 280.
Band: 2/6

[siddanth]

For youngster growth, Few people argue that outdoor activities are more favourable than playing computer games. i fully agree with given statement ,and believe that for complete development of children outdoor activities play a pivotal role .

To begin with, outdoor games are more beneficial to children’s health. They not only instill agility and endurance but also teach children to socialize and make friends. Thus, outdoor games help develop qualities like cooperation, team spirit, patience, and confidence. To illustrate when a child plays outdoors, he comes across a number of different situations like victory, failure, hope, and despair. Thus, the child learns to face such situations with emotional balance.

Furthermore, outdoor games make children physically stronger. While playing outdoors, children get exposure to fresh air and sunlight. It helps burn the extra calories, boosts metabolism and strengthens their immune system.

On the other hand, Children playing with the latest computer games have both benefits and drawbacks in playing with them. One of the disadvantages of continuous playing games on laptops or on tablets are it could have adverse effect on eyes due to UV rays generated from these high technology gadgets and there could be chances of other major illnesses like obesity and diabetes. Whereas, there are few positive aspects playing computer games like it can increase analytic thinking and logical reasoning in children when they indulge in puzzle games, mathematics games which are beneficial to children so one can have both learning and have fun while playing games.

In conclusion, although some computer games can be educational and can have certain positive effects on children’s development, I believe that the negative impacts far outweigh any benefit, and that spending time outdoors is the key to a healthy development for children

[Falak]

Feedback : Use of preposition ( it should be beneficial for children’s health, as “beneficial to” is used for whom). Make use of punctuation for longer sentences. Stick to “subject-verb agreement”. Variety of sentence structures has been observed.

Band : 3/6

[yuvarani]

Outdoor game is having more advantage to compare with computer games. So I completely agree with this point.

Computer games have some advantages as well as more disadvantages. Somehow I disagree with this point.

First, Outdoor games make physical strength. Children go out and play with their friends, they may use some additional equipment’s like cycle, cricket bat and ball, skipping, tennis bat and ball etc.,

If you listen their playing first we can understand it is team work. So in the starting age itself they can learn team work. Then they are using voice like calling their friend name, giving instruction, chat with team and get new solution. It makes kids brain sharpens. They can learn condone habit. Without physical activity there is nothing in outdoor even if they walk or run they are using their legs and make strengthen their muscles. So physically they complacent.

In outdoor games creates helping tendency to each other they are not like ferocity.

Outdoor games are one on one or group activities. So they can learn win and loose situation from this. Obviously their mind get strong to accept any position they won’t susceptible just like that.

In outdoor they are smelling fresh air, seeing blue sky, green trees, domestic animals like cow, dog, hen and listening their sounds. It makes them feel fresh and boost up their energy.

In between the vehicles like bike, car are crossing so they can understand how to cross the road.

Out door game is like practical and real. They can learn practically with all live examples. Computer game is like theoretical and intangible. They can learn from computer games too but if they implement in practical life sometimes it gets failure.

There are some dangerous disadvantages also there in Outdoor activities like kids kidnapping, harassment. Parents should give attention when kids are in outdoor.

In conclusion, outdoor gives lots of benefits like physical fit, creative thinking and learning good habits.

[rahul]

In this era of the digital world it is often argued that doing physical and outdoor activities are more impactful rather than being in front of monitor even if kids find it less attractive . I strongly agree with the thought that the lesser time a kid utilizes on screen the more they can be active and lesser susceptible to illness.

Outdoor activities will always take precedence to the computer games when it to comes to the amount of physical and mental effort required and as we know the brain malleability is maximum as a kid hence spending more time on computer games affects the kid’s interaction with real world which in turn reflects in his social skills . For example ,most of the people who excelled in their field today had a very open childhood which encompasses lot of adventures such as school picnic/cricket matches / other sports activities.

It has Been seen that playing excessive video games not just affects the eyesight but it also gives rise to an obsessive behavior to finish those games resulting in a more introverted and complacent childhood and with time it results in abysmal performance in school causing bad grades. for instance, steve job the inventor of the computer himself has kept their children away from any digital entertainment as he understands having outdoor activities gives us more challenges and develops the brain to deal with them

In conclusion, outdoor activities during childhood create a base for a healthy as well as a well-devolved brain meanwhile it is also equally important for a parent to keep track of his kid that they don’t get too attached to video games since later once it becomes a behavior it is laborious to come out of that zone.

[Ayesha]

For the Overall growth of teenagers, playing outside is more conducive as compared with playing computer games. I completely agree to this statement. This essay will explain that outdoor activities are more beneficial than computer games for children’s growth and development.

It’s evident that due to the advent of computers and conveniently accessible internet children are getting more and more compulsive. Some adults believe that playing games on computers deteriorates children’s growth in many aspects like health, psychology, behavioural etc. despite the fact that playing such games increases motor skills like hand and mind coordination though there re better substitutions. For example, they stay inside, sticking to one place in front of the computer for hours, oblivion to what is going on outside, what time it is, even what’s happening around, furthermore it affects the eyesight, the body cycle, brings stress, damages the body and so many adverse effects. So playing computer games is harmful.

On the contrary, playing outside has more benefits. Children are able to learn, on their own level, by interacting with each other. If they are on the playground it increases their immunity in addition to making then physically fit. It beings them closer to nature.

So to summarize, rather than sitting inside and playing computer games children should be motivated to play outside which will eventually be beneficial for long term.

[Shazia]

People believe that children these days are engaged in various computer games and instead spend more time in outdoor activities which is more advantageous for their growth .

I believe that outdoor activities provide a conducive environment for the child’s mental and physical health .since children are more interested in online games ,they become complacent towards their health .

Outdoor activities are beneficial to children in many ways . They make them fitter and stronger as individual , outdoor games require more than one individual , for instance when children play games like football or cricket they can also develop social skills as they learn to share and work as part of a team and make new friends . Furthermore children who spends more time outdoors are less stressed and are mentally more stable than those who spends more time playing computer games .

Moreover children are becoming dependant on technology since the advent of computer. Playing computer games for long time have many inevitable negative affects on their lives including studies. Addiction of gadgets in children is making them arrogant , lazy and also some serious health issue related to eye sight , obesity and many are getting prone to diabetic and mental illness such as anxiety , depression .

In conclusion , outdoor games is the key to health development in children than playing computer games .

[Naheda]

In today’s modern world computer has become the integral part of our lives. Most people argue that children should play outdoor games rather than spending most of their time on computer games. I agree that outdoor activities have more positive effects on child’s health both physically and mentally.

With the advent of digital technology, humans has become mostly dependent on computers for their day to day activities and children too are not an exception. Working parents often condone their young ones addiction towards computer games as they are too busy to take care of them round the clock. Moreover, children brain is vulnerable therefore it easily attracts ferocity of the modern games. For example, a recent survey had shown that many youngsters attempted to suicide after playing Blue Whale game.

Furthermore, there are numerous advantages of playing games outdoor. To count few, first it enhance the physical strength and endurance of the growing kids.Firstly, kids feels energetic and enthusiastic when playing in a team with real friends and robots. Secondly, outdoor activities makes them discipline, social and inculcates habits such as sharing and team spirit in them , which are most essential for their growth and development. For instance, M.S.Dhoni was an average player but his evident interpersonal skills and bold communication skills made him the captain of Indian cricket team.

In conclusion, I would like to say although electronic games has made the made life of working parents easy to some extent by making their kids busy, but it has multidimensional side effects which couldn’t be ignore. Thus, as a parent it is our primary responsibility to take care of child physical and mental health, and encourages them to play outdoor games rather than idealizing in one chair for hours.

[saikeerthi]

In Today’s World, as the Technology is rising day-by-day there is a decrease in children activities as a result they are getting more attached to the electronic gadgets. Few people accept that outdoor activities play a major impact on kids when compared to playing computer games. In my opinion, I totally agree that Outdoor activities are more suitable for a child’s development in all ways.

Firstly, outdoor activities offers a plethora of advantages for a child to adhere from one’s childhood like being active, fitness, and social awareness, etc. If a child has a habit of playing cricket this will give more fitness. For instance, according to the survey by child organization they have concluded that being more athletic eventually have good health and fitness moreover this not only bring health benefits but also gives confidence for a child growth in future.

Secondly, more than the education schools should include outdoor activities for the children in their curriculum but due to the pandemic, it’s not possible for the schools therefore parents should take care their children in order not to get attached to the computer games all over the day instead they can take their children in the nearby parks following all the safety measures. For example, I have seen many parents that they are taking up their children to the nearby parks and I have observed that the children are more active when exposed to outdoor activities where they can play many games with their fellow children as a result this will help the kids to enhance their social skills.

To conclude, I admit that outdoor activities are more beneficial for the children as a result of increasing the fitness, developing social skills rather than attaching to computer games.

[Sai koushik]

In Modern days, Games are an important part of children’s life. For the advancement of children’s physical and mental health, some people think that outdoor activities are better than playing computer games. In my opinion, outdoor activities are significant for children’s life.

Firstly, outdoor games are beneficial to children in many ways. They make children physically strong and improve the resistance to microorganisms. It also helps the children to socialize with other children while playing. Event it helps to develop strong leadership skills and team management skills when children play as a team. For example, sports like cricket, football, basketball, etc. need leadership and team management skills in order to win the game.

Secondly, many children are becoming slaves to online games such as Pubg, Clash of clans, Call of Duty, etc. Because of that, many children are facing mental stress, eye problems, anxiety problems, etc. Children are becoming lazier and neglecting their studies which affect their future. But playing online games can increase the logical skills

In conclusion, I believe going out and playing with children is more beneficial than sitting and playing computer games.

[priya]

Children’s health and progress is of prime importance to any parent. Some believe that playing games outside is more helpful to a child’s growth than involving in indoor electronic activities. Though Video games are more attractive, I completely agree that playing games outdoor is healthier and more helpful for children.

To begin with, playing outdoor with other children, not only help the kids in improving their health and stamina, but it will show a tremendous improvement in their social and behavioural skills. For instance, in this growing modern world, networking and communication skills are valued more than once academic record and I trust outdoor sports is the best way to achieve them. Apart from all the benefits quoted, outdoor group games inculcate team building, focus and problem solving skills at the young age.

On the other hand, through smart phones and electronic gadgets, video and android games have crawled into our home, even if we chose not to. Now a days, Parents couldn’t control their kid’s playtime in online games, affecting the child’s sleep and health. Few studies have shown that children couldn’t differentiate between the real world and game world due to continuous exposure to more realistic computer games. Apart from this, child obesity is a major concern to many parents including Governments as it is affecting their future generation straight away. Certain schools even made mandatory outdoor activities to control overweight issues in their students.

While few may still argue that playing video games also develop certain skillsets and children should be given freedom to choose what they want, the lifestyle and skill improvement offer by outdoor games can never be outdone video games. To conclude, considering the future of the next generation, I strongly believe that playing outdoor games should be the first choice to achieve the children’s development.

[vivek]

I agree that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. There are lot of development in computer games but it’s always better to participate in outdoor activities rather than stick to computer screen.

In the current era of technology, everyone is surrounded by electronic devices. Undoubtedly these devices are easily accessible. We cannot keep these devices away from children’s reach but we should encourage our children’s to participate in outdoor activities. Outdoor activities will provide many benefits over computer games. For example, they may get much needed vitamin D, it may enhance their behavioral skills. Outdoor activities are essential for overall development of the children’s growth.

We have seen vary adverse effect on health because of addiction to computer games. There is some news related to child committing suicide to reach the next level of the game. Parent should keep their children away from such kind of addiction. There are many unethical games over the internet which will affect the behavior of the children. There are reports saying children’s those who addicted to computer games are more aggressive than others.

It’s our responsibility as a society to educate our future generation with the benefits of outdoor activities. Again, I agree that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games.

[Abhinav]

Feedback:

Less use of cohesive devices,

Could use some more good words

Conclusion could be better

Band Score: 4.5/6.0

[Arsh]

Undoubtedly, playing out has more benefits when compared to playing games on computers but some people believe that when a child uses desktops , there ability to think grows immensely. I agree that spending time outside would be helpful for the overall development of a child but there are some advantages associated with spending time on computers that can not be ignored completely that we would discuss in the paragraphs given below.

To commence with , firstly ,the primary reason why playing out is of great importance is because of its health benefits which includes both mental and physical health. For instance , when a kid is more into games such as basket ball or cricket , various health problems such as obesity or depression can be avoided. Thus it is apparent , a child who is more into sports has an ability to reach the level of fitness and can keep away variety of health issues.

Asserting further , another vital aspect of outdoor games is that the child can be more socially active. For example , when a kid goes to some playground or park , the chances of making friends are way more than playing inside. Thus , it is clear that spending time out can make a child more friendly.

However , there are a number of pros of video games and one of them is increased analytical ability or mental ability. While using a system to play video game , a child needs to be aware about every bit and detail , thus enhancing the thinking ability.

To conclude , in my opinion , both these activities have their own advantages that can not be ignored but playing out has an upper hand. Parents should be vigilant enough to divide time in such a way that a kid devote more time to sports and less yet some time to computer games.

[Abhinav]

Feedback:

Introduction paragraph does not clarify your opinion explicitly.

To commence with and firstly, should not be used together.

First and second body paragraphs should have been kept together because they are elaborating from one side. Third body paragraph needs a little more explanation.

Band Score: 4.0/6.0

[Vamsi Krishna]

Nowadays most children are attracted to a computer or mobile-based games, people are arguing about computer games are responsible for children’s abysmal performance at school and outdoor games are beneficial for children’s physical fitness and social skills, I strongly agree with the statement.

First and foremost, the physical fitness in this generation of kids is very low, If we encourage them to play outdoor or indoor sports like cricket, football, badminton, etc, it helps to improve their fitness levels. The nutrition food is not taken by the children if they play outdoor games they should follow a proper diet because they’ll get sufficient proteins. Children are more susceptible than adults, by playing computer games the most of the children are affected with eyesight at an early age. Outdoor games help the children to keep mentally healthy and active in every event.

The second important one is social skills, we can observe the situation, students who have high problem-solving skills are not able to move socially, because they interact less with people in the real world. Outdoor games and taking children to the park can help to interact with diverse children, it helps to improve social skills. For example, we can see some players with good skills are unable to communicate properly, but it is very important to not only skill to play, but you should have good communication skills. Computer skills are important in this current era to win this digital race, But it is not to the full extent. It should be under parental guidance because we know this digital world has both a bright side and a dark side.

To Conclude, the govt should develop community parks and playgrounds and encourage parents to take out their children at least twice a week.

[Abhinav]

Feedback:

Structure is fine.

There are so many grammatical errors that need to be corrected. You will be losing approximately one band for only the grammatical errors.

Conclusion should be a little more elaborated, not a one liner.

Band Score: 4.0/6.0

[Vaibhav]

Some people argue benefits of playing outdoor sport in development of Children outweighs the benefits of playing computer games while others think vice versa. I believe computer games prepare children intellectually in better way for modern times.

Playing outdoor sports brings inevitable improvements in Children’s health, physically and emotionally. It improves cardiovascular functioning, boosts immunity, creates antioxidants and sometimes bring emotional balance too.

Recent studies have benchmarked, people which involved in athletics in early phases of life tends to incur less health complications.

This silicon age demands people to be more competitive intellectually than physically, playing computer games develop intellect in several significant dimensions, thanks to ever evolving computer games eco system. Modern computer games augment cognitive abilities in children, raises concentration and boosts neuro-reflex systems. Academicians quotes Children exposed to computer games perform significantly better, leading to achieve more accomplishments.

To sum up, even though there are several benefits of outdoor sports in Children development conventionally, I hold up playing computer games will help prepare Children for upcoming times in a far better way.

[Abhinav]

Feedback:

Content us good but structure is not good.

There is only one line in the middle of 2 passages which is not the right way.

2,3 grammar errors, nothing major.

Just for the structure and flow of thoughts you will be losing 1.5 band.

Band Score: 3.5/6.0

[Neha]

Outdoor activities have been exceptionally helpful in building healthy milestones in a child’s life than what playing computers could have. I strongly reckon that not being confined to room but simply exploring the outer world would prove to be a bonus in children’s mental as well as physical aspect.

Firstly when children explore out of the four walls he or she gets mentally charged and could set up bodily growth. This could narrate that outdoor activities have most common benefits. they gain confidence, learn to differentiate what is right to one can be wrong to the other, Manual training of any game could not only assist a child to get taller but also maintain ideal weight and be less prone to the trending disease called obesity. For example when a child with his friends would plan to climb a mango tree and pick ripened fruits; they develop their cognitive mental skills and this indeed would help develop their health.

Second of all being clingy to computer games could make oneself remain in same place for hours with little to no benefits. The little one would not learn how another same aged mate react; there are fewer chances to develop both physically and mentally. These are the ones who are prone to disease like obesity; depression etc. For instance a youngster, who was dedicated to the PUBG game, would have difficulty building social skills as he is more confined to one place and no physical interaction with another youngster.

To conclude, being physically active has more benefits than what an artificially built in game could certainly have. Hence encourage children to play outdoor games and help in developing them both mentally and physically.

[Abhinav]

Feedback:

Excellent work for the first attempt.

structure is good for IELTS

Band Score: 5.0/6.0

[Shoaib]

Nowadays, some people believe that physical activities are more beneficial for children’s development as compared to playing computer games. I strongly agree with the statement that outdoor games playing an important role in the physical growth and development of our children than playing computers games.

Outdoor activities are very beneficial for the development and growth of our children. it has been observed that physical activities make our children physically and mentally strong as compared to those children that spend most of their time on computers games. Outdoor games make them healthy and active in their life due to which they perform very well in all other activities like education, decision making, and other extracurricular activities. Giving an example of my friend kid’s who is always stood first in his class and also, he is a very good player of food ball.

The current era is known as the era of sophisticated technology with a very sharp growth in artificial intelligence and data management. However, with this development in IT, there are so many computer games has been invented and our younger generation especially children are spending a lot of time playing these games. This is affecting their mental health and poor performance in their routine life while giving examples of PUBG games and almost millions of users daily playing these games throughout of the world.

In conclusion, outdoor activities are necessary for the development of our children, and they should participate in these kinds of activities on daily basis, as result, it will make them healthy and strong. Also, parents should play their role to encourage their children to more participate in outdoor activities rather than waste their time on computer gaming.

[Abhinav]

Shoaib this one is much better.

some grammatical errors , but mostly it was fine.

Subject verb agreement has to be worked upon, most mistakes are in singular plural

Band Score: 4.0/6.0

[Eman]

Open-air activities are considered by few people to be more useful for kids’ development than video games. In my opinion, I totally agree with them for several reasons.

At first, external sports are essential for the children’s physical health which is an important part of their growth. For example, cycling can improve their strength, balance and coordination. Furthermore, outdoor exercises can improve the little ones’ social behavior through interaction with their peers. To elaborate, playing football teaches them teamwork and enhances their abilities to communicate with others efficiently.

On the contrary, playing computer games can have positive effects on young ones. While expanding their imagination, they improve their strategic thinking skills. For instance, space war games challenge the players to come up with defending strategies to overcome their opponents. Moreover, when teenagers spend most of their time on electronic gaming, they are avoiding committing dangerous acts on the streets. This is because their time is occupied already and they don’t think about wild adventures such as dangerous sports, stealing cars or fighting with their friends.

However, there are some disadvantages to video games. Due to the limited physical interaction, players may develop some serious health issues including muscle and joint illnesses. Although computer gaming provides some safety for the community, it isolates the kids from their family and society and severely affects their mental health.

In conclusion, children can benefit from both external activities and computer games if they utilize them wisely. The advantages of outdoor sports can be more beneficial for the young members of society than the computerized ones.

[Abhinav]

Open-air activities are considered by few people to be more useful for kids’ development than video games. In my opinion, I totally agree with them for several reasons (which I will be explaining in the next few paragrpahs)

At first, external (outdoor) sports are essential for the children’s physical health which is an important part of their growth. For example, cycling can improve their strength, balance and coordination. Furthermore, outdoor(field) exercises can improve the little ones’ social behavior through interaction with their peers. To elaborate, playing football teaches them teamwork and enhances their abilities to communicate with others efficiently.

On the contrary, playing computer games can have positive effects on young ones. While expanding their imagination, they improve their strategic thinking skills. For instance, space war games challenge the players to come up with defending strategies to overcome their opponents. Moreover, when teenagers spend most of their time on electronic gaming, they are avoiding committing dangerous acts on the streets. This is because their time is occupied already and they don’t think about wild adventures such as dangerous sports, stealing cars or fighting with their friends.

However, there are some disadvantages to video games. Due to the limited physical interaction(movement), players may develop some serious health issues including muscle and joint illnesses. Although computer gaming provides some safety for the community, it isolates the kids from their family and society and severely affects their mental health.

In conclusion, children can benefit from both external activities and computer games if they utilize them wisely. The advantages of outdoor sports can be more beneficial for the young members of society than the computerized ones.

Feedback:

Except the highlighted words everything looks fine in terms of sentence construction.

In terms of the structure, the essay seems a little scattered in opinion. The consistency is missing. You agreed that outdoor activities are better than video games but in the conclusion you made the opinion ambiguous, it needs to be consistent with your thesis statement.

Area of improvement:

Lexical Ability (use more sophisticated vocabulary wherever possible.)

[Bhavik]

Often people believe that outdoor activities are more productive for children’s development when compared with playing computer games. In my opinion the above is true, children’s should be involved in more outdoor activities to enhance their development

First of all, I believe that playing outdoor activities will keep a child mentally and physically fit as, been involved in outdoor activities means getting involved in physical activities like running, walking, jumping etc. all these activities will enhance the core strength of the child which is important considering the current polluted environment. Children’s are more susceptible to disease as compared to adults thus these activities in turn will improve the immunity of a child. For example if you compare the health of an athletic and a IT professional who works on computers entirely, it is observed that IT professional health is abysmal as they are indulge in minimum physical activities thus, I believe that been physical fit is very important and getting involved in outdoor activities will ensure the same

Moreover, Outdoor activities expose a child to diverse people and it is often believed that when a person is expose to diversity he learns a lot – looking at how different people behave in different scenarios like after loosing a game how people take it sporting and keep a fighting spirit for the next game. In todays worlds where both the parents are working, often they condone the behaviour of their children, outdoor activities here plays a vital role as been exposed to people outside limit the children to behave in a right way. Thus getting expose to people through outdoor activities will definitely have a positive impact on a child

To summarise, I believe that been physically fit and mentally enhance is significant for children’s development thus getting involved in physical activities and been expose to diverse population would suffice the safe