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IELTS Essay Writing (using computers)
Q. Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them?
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
Use Cohesive Devices:
• In addition, moreover
• Further / furthermore
• In conclusion
• To summarise
• As a result
• As a consequence (of)
• Therefore
• Thus
• Consequently
• Hence
• Due to
• Undoubtedly
• Indeed
• Obviously
• On the other hand
• On the contrary • Generally
• Admittedly
• In fact
• Particularly / in particular
• Especially
• Clearly
• Importantly
• However
• Nevertheless
• Nonetheless
• Still
• Although / even though
• Though
• In contrast (to) / in comparison
• While
• Whereas -
46 Replies
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Nowadays, Children are habitual of using computers for a long duration since their childhood. However, “According to the Children Welfare Society “spending long hours on computers will make them introvert individuals and also give them an unhealthy lifestyle. I will provide my views on the advantages and disadvantages of children using technology with a logical conclusion.
The first advantage is the ongoing demand of the IT Industry, Parents are engaging the teenagers to learn coding at an early age of their life. US is the big example to evidence this statement, leaders like “Steve Job” and “Bill Gate” who starting coding at the age of 5 and motivate teenagers to bring innovation in IT Industry. The benefit of using computers will help them to understand the new trends and opportunities and can uplift their career.
On the other hand, spending long hours on screen has harmed teenager’s health. For example, as per the Ministry of Health, India children are suffering from obesity, anxiety, and backache problems (between the age group 7 to 19 years) due to spending a long time on screen. It has been also observed teenagers waste their time on the internet by chatting on a social platform, watching videos, shopping that mislead them to attain their objectives.
In conclusion, using computers is good for children as it enhances their skill and knowledge but subsequently, can impact their health, if used excessively. As a result, health ministries globally implementing new fitness policies to overcome our billionaires from the unwanted trap of technology.
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Feedback: Limited content used describing in simple language with simple words, need to work on projection with wide range of sentence structures & vocabularies in order to get good band score rather roam around & sentence formation to avoid unnecessary grammatical error .
Band: 2.5/6
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These days children are more into computers and their whole day runs with it. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the previous sentence with suitable instances.
Firstly, due to computer usage, there are some major disadvantages like children may become weak and should have to encounter health issues. In addition to this there is a chance to addict to computers and as a result, studies will get neglected. By using computers continuously adolescent’s eyesight may get weaker moreover it should affect their immune system. For instance, At present most of the youngsters are having spectacles at a very early age even doctors are advising parents to keep their adolescents away from computers. Especially, youngsters are addicted to the games on the computer and they are passing their most of the time on it. As a result, studies will get distracted therefore the level of concentration automatically decreases.
Secondly, there are few advantages as well like, In the computer can find everything including knowledge development programs. It boosts problem-solving skills and increases self-esteem. Children are love to spend their time on the computer more than spending time in the classroom so that they will enjoy learning with the system, automatically their grasping power improves. For instance, Even schools are upgrading from traditional classrooms to smart classes just to attract students. Comparatively practical live classes are more intensive than theoretical classes. Therefore, youngsters remember the concept and they will apply it in real time. Moreover, In a computer network, millions of queries are there according to their level of thinking.
To summarise, Proper guidance and support from the parents and teachers can eliminate these disadvantages and with proper use of a computer, children can reach to heights.
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Feedback: Well attempt, Content is acceptable but should be precise enough to make an impact in terms of language as well, need to work on more connectors, sentence formation to avoid grammatical errors, & range of vocabularies.
Band: 3/6
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Nowadays children are made to invest long hours in learning computers in their tender age, which is both beneficial as well as harmful for them. This essay will compare both sides of the opinion and provide a logical conclusion.
The biggest disadvantage of doing this is that they are loosing out on their physical development because early age is most critical for all body developmental activities and in order to have good growth they need to play outdoor activities instead of sitting in front of computer screen for mush of their time which is especially harmful for their eyes.
Second major demerit is behavioral, because they are spending most of the time on computers, they tend to interact less with others and end up becoming more arrogant and short tempered. They ted to avoid persons who lack computer knowledge such as grandparents. On the other hand if they had invested more time in conversing or playing with others they would have developed joyful nature and even made friends.
Parents wants their children learn computers as early as possible because everything which is happening in today’s world involves computers and it will be better for them to get used to things at the earliest. Technology is also changing at a very fast pace, whatever is happening today becomes outdated within couple of years, by making children learn computers early parents are making sure that their child remain conversant with latest technology because future belongs to computers. Children at the age of five years have started doing coding and making applications.
In conclusion, in would say that that although computers are must earn for children as they are driving the world today but it is more important to focus on their physical as well as behavioral development early in their life because this critical time will never come back in their life and also because its never too late to learn computers.
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Feedback: Good effort to attempt, but content is not up to the mark as it seems personalise & limited not generalise & out of the box, used limited range in sentences as well as in vocabularies, need to work on the pattern of this category & on the requirement of essay writing as no relevant examples found.
Band: 2/6
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In recent times the computer has revolutionized the education system and thereby it becomes mandatory for children to be exposed to it at an early age for a faster learning curve though excessive use of it can give birth to certain disadvantages too. This essay will put light on the advantages and disadvantages caused by laptop/computer usage in children’s life.
The two main advantages of early age computer exposure to children will be exposing their brain to modern day technology and accelerate their learning curve by online education.Firstly, children’s brains are most agile during the early age to new thing hence manifesting computer usage growing up will be more facile when compared to an adult thereby keeps the children updated with modern-day technology. Secondly, now computer it’s the most common gateway to explore to learn things more practically by video\audio lectures hence provides a better dimension to learning curve .
Like every other invention, it also comes with a couple of disadvantages such as rise to introverted behavior due to addiction caused by games and certain health issues due to heavy screen usage.If the usage in not done in a controlled fashion then child can be cut-off from social world which leads to an isolated brain with insignificant social skills whereas it also adds to health issues such as myopia caused in eye if not used from proper distance .However , if the usage is monitored by adults and the exposure is done in a controlled fashion then It can really add up to a faster brain development.
To conclude, although usage of computer comes with serious disadvantages on physical health as well as social skills nevertheless can be suppressed by slight micromanagement and controlling the screen time thus adds a different dimension to learning at an early age hence I believe that disadvantages can be suppressed by some effort and can create more meaningful childhood
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Feedback: Well attempt with good content but execution got failed as the content was not organised accordingly & sentence formation caused a lot, need work on formation a lot, no relevant examples found.
Band: 3.5/6
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Usage of computers for hours and hours, that too from the initial years for growth, by the kids sounds like a health damaging scenario altogether. It will have consequences in plenty of ways in the lives of children. This essay will point out mainly to the disadvantages of using computers from early age and for long hours, mentioning the advantages as well.
To begin with the advantages, children from the early age spending hours on computers will grasp information at a higher rate as they have developing minds, will get to learn time management besides being technologically more advanced. Though kids have sensitive minds they have an excellent power to attain what is being taught to them. Being very observant they imbibe things around them, getting any information and knowledge from computers due to spending hours will be advantageous. If the computer will consume so much of their hours, they will need to learn on how to bring balance between other aspects of life, how to complete the rest of the daily routine, how to socialize, play and do other activities. Hence doing all this as kids will make them more adaptive and mature.
Undoubtedly, putting in long hours sitting and doing literally anything is harmful for the body let alone using computers during these hours. Kids would start to have health issues like neck pain, vision weakening, digestive problems, addiction, social anxiety, low immunity etc. They will not be able to enjoy the actual world and a normal life. It’ll make them stay away from the nature. Taking an example of a kid who spent more than 10 hours on computers daily, firstly for studying then for playing games and entertainment, had difficulties behaving normally in person, starting considering real life as in the game. He got addicted and required medical help.
So in conclusion to all the above mentioned statements, though using computer in this modern world has benefit of its own but for kids to spends long hours from the very initial days of their lives will have more drastic effects than anything.
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Feedback: Very well executed with good content, good use of words & sentence structure. Need to work on example as found incorrect formation that caused grammatical error.
Band: 3.5/6
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Sir, I have finished the writing task 2
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Feedback: Well executed with limited content, but execution got failed as few repetition were found with few grammatical errors due to incorrect formation. Need to work on these areas to get higher band.
Band: 3/6
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Children now a days are using computers from young age, but spending long hours definitely have a negative impact on them.
This essay will look into both advantages and disadvantages in using computers at an early age. Since the advent of computers, we are becoming more dependant on technology. The main advantage of using computer is it makes our lives easier in numerous ways.
Firstly, the advantages of using computer is it has made learning process easier for children. For instance the outbreak of the corona pandemic has forced all the children for home schooling. young children can learn reading skills through images and videos.
The other advantage is they will learn other skills such as painting, on line story readings . Furthermore it makes children easy for the future use of computers.
Secondly , the disadvantage of spending long hours on computers makes children addictive and it negatively impacts the overall development of youngsters . The children are becoming ferocious .
Children sitting for long hours can damage their eyes .They can easily get addicted to computer games which may leads to distraction from their studies .
To conclude , computers are good for children to start using from an early age but it should be done in adults supervision and for limited time.
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Feedback: Good attempt, but need to work on sentence formation as it could have been more effective to create an impact, rest few more complex sentence should be used along with few more related words, Kindly look after the word limit as well as it’s less than 250.
Band: 2.5/6
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Nowadays computer plays a pivotal part of in the overall development of children .However we cannot deny the negative effects of exposing young children to computers. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of using computers by young children and provide logical conclusion.
The two main disadvantages of early use of computer are lack of physical activity and disconnection from family and nature. Firstly, sitting for long hours in front of computer screens lead to no body movement ,as a result (which has resulted in an increase or in several diseases) invites diseases like (such as) obesity , weak eyesight etc. Secondly, children get addicted to computers so much that they even do not (even feel) bother (bothered) about their parents and (neither is) not able to enjoy the nature as well because they find all the pleasure on the screen only . For them computer their whole world.
However, exposure to the computer by young children at an early age have (has) some advantages like (such as) it increases creativity in children , moreover (it) makes learning more practical . With the use of internet a child can improves (improve) his (his/her or their) creativity when he comes across different master mind ideas , learn how they succeed in life and follow their footsteps. With the help of advanced learning apps a child can improve their scores by looking out for their weaker subjects ;for example it is an amazing experience for a child to see how a sapling grows into plant and this way he never forgets this in life. Nevertheless, proper supervision by the elders and setting screen exposure time can eliminate these disadvantages to some limits only but not completely.
To conclude, although using computers at early age can have certain positive effects like increased creativity, confidence and high scores , it has an extremely negative influence on the physical and mental health of the child. I believe that these disadvantages outweigh its advantages.
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Feedback: Very well written but execution got failed because of some unavoidable sentence formation & grammatical errors highlighted in the bold in the written essay. Need to work on these mistakes & on projection.
Band: 3/5
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The world we live in today is driven by technology. Traditional methods of work, travel and education are either replaced or further enhanced with the help of technology. As a result of which, children nowadays are exposed to computers at a very early age. Though to survive in this competitive world children need to be ahead of their peers by learning new technology and enhancing their skills, the drawbacks of early exposure to computers like vision problems, obesity also needs to be considered. This essay will discuss both the positive and negative impacts of the same and provide a logical closure.
The main advantage of exposure to computers is that children get accustomed to technology early age and their learning curve will be better. There is no occupation at present that doesn’t require the aid of computers and will also be the same in the future. Further, at present, the job market requires more professionals in the software field rather than in the traditional mechanical or electrical departments and it is expected to grow furthermore with the advent of Machine learning and Artificial Intelligence. For instance, most of the Engineering undergraduates in India get placed in a software firm irrespective of which major they studied. Thus, gaining computer knowledge at an early age not only aides them in getting a better job but also places them ahead in the competition.
Although knowledge of computers (help) helps children in making their future better, how they get exposed to it needs to be examined. Mostly, it is because of parental and societal pressure. They want their children to master the arts of coding at the age of 5 or 6 and showcase them as a prodigy like Bill Gates or Elon Musk. Thus, unknowingly they are destroying the child’s creativity and forbid (forbidding) them from enjoying their childhood. Without knowing the interest of the kid they are successful in making a human-machine rather than a scholar. Other than this children who play long hours of video games are experiencing vision problems, obesity, and diabetes at an early age.
To summarize, gaining knowledge of computers is acceptable however it should not be impressed on children against their interest. Parents should always keep track of their usage because if health is lost everything is lost. So, weighing both the advantages and disadvantages it can be better said that children should interact more with the physical world rather than with technology.
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Feedback: Well written essay using relevant content with impressive examples, need to work on unnecessary grammatical errors & sentence formation highlighted in bold along with impactful related words & also avoid the repetition found multiple times “at early age” to boost the score.
Band: 4.5/6
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Early age exposure of computers to kids are significantly beneficial as it’s being used in every sector in the world so it has been advantageous for them to start gripping the concept since the beginning therefore that would be easily conquered for later stages of life.
Although there are ample of advantages of acquiring the knowledge of computers at early stage in the life but it too has plenty of disadvantages of the same scenario.
I must admit that the scope of the technologies has been sprawling their wings in all sectors of the universe therefore this is the necessity of the time to come out from the confinements & refrain adopting conventional methods & start acquiring new skills. Taking this into considerations schools & institutions started prepping their children since the initial phase of their life for stepping-in in the new world of advanced technologies which would help them in grasping the knowledge of computers at early stage & get ready for the future. Unilaterally, the same approach has been imposed worldwide to make computer education imperative because at this age children are more volatile & creative to learn new things emerging around them & it’s opportune for them therefore advantages of acquiring computer knowledge is undeniable.
On the contrary, there have been lot of cases witnessed where spending long hours in front of the screen are adversely affecting the mental & physical health of the children. They’re more prone & exhilarated towards the learning of new things that they don’t notice the negative impact on the same. Eye-sight weakness & migraine are the common diseases which we’d be encountering now a days. Parents should be vigilant & meticulously keeping a tab on the kids by restricting their time for using computers.
Apparently, Technologies has always been important for the growth of the any generation therefore extensive learning of new skill at early stage of life for children would be effortless & smoother but it becomes subtle when availability of too much of anything is increased.
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Feedback: Well formed essay, need to work on more cohesive devices with more related words, no example found as well. Introduction needs to be improved as out line sentence is not appropriate.
Band: 3/6
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Children nowadays are born with gadgets in their hands. There have always been arguments against the advent of technological gadgets, especially converse to kids playing with computers. As a coin has 2 sides, we need to see into the advantages and disadvantages of children using computers from an early age.<div>
Exposure to computers during childhood contributes to the coding and software skills of the children making them ready and updated to the high-demand industry of IT. In addition, it also helps in the learning phase through video lectures which can immerse clear insights of facts around them. For instance, a child who studied the process of rain with the aid of graphical representation will have a better understanding than the one who merely read the concept from a textbook.
Even though kids benefit from the use of laptops, their adverse effects have the potential to lead them into a leap of destruction. Firstly, these systems are the first playground of them which opens the wonderland of video games and cartoons. Children get detached from the social and real-world by sucking up themselves into the virtual world thereby reducing their communication as well as self-sustenance abilities. Indeed, this affects the mental, emotional, physical, and psychological balance of one’s life; for example, we see a number of children even at the age of 5-6 with glasses. However, these effects can be efficiently been addressed by the timely advocation of parents, and schools through time management programs, social interaction playgrounds, and real-world explorations.
To summarise, it must be taken utmost care in the use of computers when it comes to children so that it must aid in their development as a human in every aspect rather than becoming a machine.
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Feedback: Good approach but execution got failed due to incorrect formation in sentences with in valid example, content it also not up to the mark.
Band: 2.5/6
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Computer is one of the largest inventions of mankind and its heavily used in almost all the fields like industries, education, medicines. Use of computers has a positive impact on children. Learning from an early age is an initiative step to use computers but, like any other technology, computers have their own demerits if overused or negatively used. Its time should not proceed so longer. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of using computers and provide logical conclusion.
To begin with, Technology is a basic necessity in fast paced life and it is far better to train children from an early age of handling it, familiar with all terms and operating it. The main advantage of using it is that it enhanced the logical skills of a child, through internet they will be able to get access to unlimited information. A According to a research , children who uses(use) computers gain more learning as compared to children who don’t. Secondly, a child can get acquaintance about the advance technology and innovations in every field of life. Moreover, children can also buy books from online sites.
Despite of having a countless of positive points, there are some disadvantages which can be controlled by the parents. Like excess using computers for long hours is not good for a child as it effects vision and posture. And also children gets (get) addicted of playing games on laptops ,gadgets rather than outdoor physical activity which makes them socially inactive. So, in spite of sedentary lifestyle, parents should encourage children to have some outdoor exercise in free time and time of using a computer should be fixed so that a child can manage to get information in the free time.
To conclude, computers are used in schools and homes has become mandatory in order to get success. As assignments and presentations can be done only in computers. Therefore, the long hours can be reduced to limited time.
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Feedback- Approach is good but formation is not up to the mark, content is also not appropriate to frame impactful sentences, no relevant examples found.
Band: 2.5/6
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Nowadays usage of computers at very young age would be beneficial. Youth generation spend lot of time in new technology . Obviously, there are both pros and cons of usage of computer at young age. However, This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of usage of computer at young age.
Now lets look at the advantage of using computer at young age. Most importantly children can finish their assignment and project work by getting the latest information. During the pandemic students can attend online classes with the help of computer.
However, computer usage also have disadvantage like getting addicted and getting trap by fake people. Children get disconnected to their surrounding environment because of too much addiction. Children fall into traps of fake people by giving personal information which it damage the life of children.
To conclude, the advantages of computers for children far outweigh its negative consequences. In my opinion, children should start learning the computer technologies from initial stage, parents should be look towards their children activities as well.
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Feedback: Content it not much to evaluate however the approach is good, sentence formation needs to be improved as limited range found as no relevant examples found.
Band: 2/6
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Nowadays, children actively use a computer for as long as their guardians allow them to. Whether this early exposure to long hours of modern technology is beneficial or not up for debate. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages to arrive at a logical conclusion.
One of the main advantages of children using a computer is the help it provides in their education. Parents are not all knowing and many a times not able to answer the curios queries of their kid. A modern day child, regardless of the parents’ knowledge is exposed to a lot of information through computers which increases his/her curiosity, knowledge, research skill and interest in education. For instance, a bank employee cannot answer his child’s question of why a whistle produces sound when blown or what the principle behind a toy car’s functioning is.
Other advantages include setting up an early foundation to the use of tools which the entire world runs on and improved communication skills.On the other hand, using modern technology is addictive, especially when exposed to it early which brings in many disadvantages. Firstly, it stops a child from going out to play and keeps the child away any form of physical activity which might lead to serious health consequences. Secondly, it decreases real life interaction with people and therefore impairs social life. Research shows that technology addicts might be tech savvy but have more health problems ranging from mental to physical compared to other people.
So, disadvantages trump advantages.To conclude, while early exposure to computers might have its advantages, there are more disadvantages to it and therefore should be kept to a minimum.
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Feedback: Content is good, try to control unnecessary grammatical errors, as no relevant examples also found.
Band: 3/6
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In recent years, adolescents are exposed to computer especially at an early age. Further, child researchers claim it is good for their mental development but subsequently decreases their social and physical development. This essay will examined the advantages and disadvantages in three parameters of children psychology- cognitive, social, and behavioural.
To begin with, According to Oxford University professor, playing computer games will show a direct link between children’s behaviour and cognitive development. Playing Games will accelerate children’s ability to visualise images in three-dimentional space, this will not only developed their thought process but helps them to understand the future growth path.
On other hand, modern use of computers shows a detrimental effect on children’s social development. For instance, a recent study shows excessive use of internet decrease children friendships and family relationship and as a consequence, it has lead them into depression, loneliness, obesity, and anxiety.
In conclusion, a systemic research needs to be executed to help or aware parents and policy makers to minimize negative impact and maximised positive impact of computer in children’s life.
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Feedback: Content is not up to the mark, as limited content along with range of sentences used along with repetition of sentence structure found in 2nd paragraph.
Band: 2/6
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Feedback: Content is not up to the mark, as limited content along with range of sentences used along with repetition of sentence structure found in 2nd paragraph.
Band: 2/6
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Many researchers do not recommend to use laptop , mobile or tab for kids at early age. Computers do not simply match their learning styles. Kids at early age learn more through their hands, foots,mouth and legs. computers are not good choice for developmental skills. In addition study shows computer screen emits rays which are not good for eyes so watching computer for long hours can impact eyes too especially for kids at early age. On the other hand limited use of computer for kids learning found useful in kids recognizing power and learning things in new way and with limited use one can avoid its bad effects.
Kids are more fond of exploring things so, there are chances that they can get wrong content and they may addicted to social networking site. They may get cheated by someone and get trapped into wrong habits.
In conclusion, kids can use computers under parent observation with limited time.
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Aishwarya kapoor
<time datetime=”Fri Jul 16 2021 23:38:54 GMT+0530 (India Standard Time)”>11:38 PM</time>
The use of computer at a young age can affect the impressionable minds of children ,not only it promotes laziness but also encourage children to play games online instead of physical excercise. Furthermore, it decreases interaction with family, friends and teachers therefore causing hindrance in development of thier personality .
computers have made information available at the touch of the screen , moreover google has become the personal dictionary as well as information provider . For example children who have had exposure of computer at an early age were found to be more perceptive to learning new abilities compare to those who were not-
The content is too short to give a proper feedback, however the grammar does not seem to be a problem. The structure is not at all in accordance with Ielts parameters. I’m sure you did not have time to finish the essay but any feedback would be irrelevant because of less information provided here.
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In today’s world it is near to impossible to keep children’s away from computers.
It’s better to start using computers from early age especially in this digital world. It give them immense opportunity to explore the world by their own unique thoughts. Moreover, it will enhance their logical & analytical skills which are essential in this competitive environment. There are lot of educational games which will keep them engage in study for longer time. Hence, they will learn lot of new things in a fun or enjoyable way.
On the other hand there are lot of disadvantages as well. In my opinion, Primary disadvantage is physical growth of the child. Humans are said to be social animals, they like to interact physically rather than virtually. Spending long hours on computer may hamper the social interaction (physical aspect). In other words, it will put a negative impact on social/public behavior of the children. Children’s may find objectionable contents over the internet if not supervised properly.
Every cloud has a silver lining and interacting with computers is no exception.
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Although some people recommend keeping children devoid of electronic devices including computers upto a certain age, I totally believe this idea is conventional, flawed and impractical too.
While computers are engrossed in every aspect of today’s life, children are bound to get fascinated by it, we should get children aware and accustomed to computers rather than depriving them of their curiosities. In recent pandemic times, when children all of a sudden had no choice left out other than to attend educational classes on computers, kids who had a pre comfort working with computers, undoubtedly performed much better. Imagine the day when kids would be able to showcase their wildest of creative imaginations through computer aided graphics!
Having said above, computers could also turn into a curse instead of an avatar for young kids in no time, provided that its usage is not throttled by guardians. Society should be cautious as well as informed while providing computer time to children, proportionate allocation and timely monitoring can help avoid any sort of uninvited risk.
To conclude, I would like to ask, can we imagine our children’s future without computer education today? Certainly not. Indeed, it will make more sense if we make them adept with computers and associated skills ahead of time, not to mention under ample supervision.
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As we are engrossed in computers in every aspect of today’s life (instead of computers are engrossed in every aspect of today’s life),
Rather than depriving them of the answers of their curiosities.
Society should be cautious as well as informed by providing screen time to children.
Don’t ask questions in conclusion. Put your point across and a stick to your opinion and make it clear by summarising your points.
This answer is worthy of a band score of 4.0/6.0
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Something that is good in using computers at pre-school age is they can use it better in successive grades because most of the classes are on online so that they should know before. It also helps to learn through gamification if you pass the assignment your score will be displayed on the leader board it increases the competitive spirit among the students. Children are more attracted to mobile these days so that they can adapt easily to the flipped classroom. There are some websites and mobile applications that provide learning through gamification it will replace the byhearting practices with innovative thinking.
The most common problem that parents are facing now is bringing out children from the computer/mobile into the social state, and another serious problem is sitting posher, most of the homes doesn’t have the proper setup for desktop or laptop, they use to sit in different lighting conditions it affects growth and eyes of children. If they play out, children will be physically fit. If they’re too addicted to the computer it is good to take doctor suggestions. To avoid this situation parents should put a timeline to use the computer and it should be proctored.
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I’m pretty sure that I have explained the structure of essay writing in class.
You have only written two paragraphs without an introduction and conclusion properly segregated. There is some spelling mistakes noted along with a few grammatical errors. It is really not enough content to give anymore pointers.
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I’ll resubmit it.
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Nowadays, computers are the essential part of the life. You can not imagine your existence without computers. Not only for adults but undoubtedly this is applicable for kids as well.
Indeed, children should start using computers at early age because it is the todays necessity. In fact, “Learning Computers” is the dedicated subject of the school curriculum for grade-1 students. This is definitely beneficial for young generation to have acquaintance of computers on which entire world is relied on. By use of computers kids can learn use of microsoft office, they can make power point presentations for their projects, painting, can play chess with computers and lot of things which can beneficial for their future. Use of computers has been proven during current pandemic situation where kids has easily accepted so called “Online School” without any fear in their mind because they are well familiar with this buddy & they have performed well during this period.
On other hand, sometimes I feel that, excessive use of computers is ruin their childhood. Based on my personal experience, my elder son has suffered though the number of health issues due to excessive use of computer during this pandemic. The health issues such as strain on eyes due to flickering of computer screen, back pain due to long sitting hours, lack of concentration, loosing interest in outdoor games etc. Kids might be misused or misdirected to illegal sites of internets if parents havent paid attention on them.
To summarise this discussion, It is always good to start using computers at the early age so that kids will be very well prepared for their future but again kids has to be monitored, guided properly by their parent to avoid excessive and misuse of computers.
Our education system has introduced this subject to our kids by thinking some advantages such as early introduction of technology of to kids at the early age only. of are the part of educational system. Without basic knowledge of the computer
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Feedback:
Introduction could be better, there is no thesis statement included in your introduction which is a major problem.
Quite a few grammatical errors noted, some are major.
Conclusion should be included in only one paragraph instead of two.
Sentence construction could be improved, sometimes it feels like there is no relation among different sentences, there are some dangling errors in terms of subject and object placement.
Band Score:4.0/6.0
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The exposure of children at an early age is a matter to be contemplated upon, although it is quite impossible to keep little kids away from computer usage in this IT era, the usage time can be shortened to the minimal optimum. I opine that this is crucial because long hours of computer and other gadget usage at an early age will have an negative impact on them. Let us discuss both the positive and negative impacts.
The excessive computer usage in the early childhood corroborates the inactive and immature social life and activities of some children in their later years. In particular, the early childhood is especially important in character formation of the children, spending too much time around gadgets deprive them of the opportunities to interact with the family, friends and nature. Children grow less concerned about the world around them, they rather languish in the virtual reality provided by the computer and gadgets, even though they become adept at the technological sphere, they lose out on the much important learning to be gained from interactions with people, their own experiences and interactions with nature.
The advent of digital age underscores the fact that being adept in computers and related technologies is obviously a necessity to excel in career, as a consequence of which learning to use computers and gadgets at a young age is undoubtedly important. The knowledge in computers opens a vast array of opportunities to learn and also to earn from it, due to which gaining it in early age is advantageous.
To summarize, getting children educated in computers definitely has its own perks, on the other hand excessive exposure of children at an early age to computers is brings more harm than good, thus the computer usage of children at an early age should be restricted to the optimal minimum required for them.
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Feedback:
Do not write the causes and effects in the introduction itself it should only contain paraphrasing and a thesis statement.
Few grammatical errors noted nothing major
Good use of lexical resources, however cohesion could be improved.
Band Score: 4.5/6.0
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As today era is of technology, many children are fascinating more toward to console devices like desktop computer, laptop, tablet and many others to enhance their analytical, imagination and critical thinking skills, whereas it is nullified by many educational institutes. As long hours usage of these portable devices at early age will have negative impact on their mind. This essay will discuss merits and demerits of such device with example on young generation mind.
Nowadays, students are addicted to electronic gadgets as it is used to run their online classes. While schools are appealing to run on computers and they are spending many hours, in addition students are learning coding in extra time as well, furthermore many of them have designed apps using AutoCAD, open sources software, and those students were bestowed by institutes. Although technologies are replacing human works in all the industries with dramatically changes. A student, who has knowledge of portable device has preference over the others. It has been observed that they have strong grasping power and are a quick learner, which makes them to learn and adapt to the changes swiftly. Many students are seeing themselves as future technical personalities like Bill Gate, Steve Jobs, Rob Warmolds and Jeff Bezos, who started computer in childhood and developed own platform, which is now accepted by all over the world to run their venture, these celebrities are setting an example for new comers. With early age device learning, they are becoming smart and, moreover, they are intelligent.
On the other hand, overuse of such technological instruments and spending countless hours particularly for students may bring numerous problems such as neck pain, migraine, body’s posture, strain to brain and eyes as they emit radiations. It is observed that students who are spending more hours on screen are less social and having behavioral changes as well. Many parents don’t want their children to attend classes on screen. However, schools are closed for offline, as it’s uses are impacting their concentration and study even communication skills as well. Especially, they are giving priority to online classes, rather than walking to institutes, with this they are not exposed to outer world.
In conclusion, comparing all above states, it is necessary to learn computer in early age to survive in the competitive society, but it should not overuse, as it tends many problems physically, mentally and socially.
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Feedback: Avoid connecting all the sentences with “as”, use other transitional words. Use words forms meticulously “dramatic changes”, Body paragraph 1, last line , “moreover” is not required. Don’t use transition words unnecessarily . Pay attention on “it’s Vs its” . “At early age” is the correct usage. Sometimes it feels like there is no logical connection among different sentences, especially in body paragraph 2.
Band Score : 3/6
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