[Unknown Member]

Dear Smriti,

I am writing this letter to let you know about the training in Data Science which I saw in Great Learning website. This training will be boon for my career.

I am interested to do training in Data Science to enhance my skill. Microsoft will conduct the training for seven months from 10th of November and they will share their course material. At the end of the training, they will give capstone project.

I could not attend the Scrum meeting because the training starts from 9:00 am to 11:00 am. To have a record of my task, I will send you the status Email of my work within end of the day.

As our next project will be in Artificial Intelligence, it will be ease for me to work on the future projects. If I learn this course, I will conduct training for our team. I request you to grant me permission.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Sheeba Jebin.

[Shahbaz]

* This is a better first paragraph : “I recently came across an advertisement for a training
course that I think would be really useful for
my professional development. I’m writing to explain why I think it would be a great course for me to do” .

* I don’t understand why you capitalized ‘scrum’ and ’email’.

* ‘it will be ease for’ (easy) – look up ‘easy’ vs ‘ease’

I recommend reading good sample letters to familiarize yourself with the various expressions we use to make requests etc.

Score: 4/6

[Unknown Member]

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter regarding the artificial intelligence course. The advertisement of the same saw on the Internet.

The course is about AI and its uses in the near future and it lasts for 5 days starting from 4th November to 8th November. Some good trainers and experts of this field will give a presentation regarding the details of this new technology. they will also explain how individuals and organizations could get benefits from it.

The daily class duration is 4 hours and it will start from 4 pm. I request you to please allow me to attend the classes at this particular time because these are office hours. The cost of this course is about 15000, would you please let me know how I can claim this from the company.

As we are working on a project that is related to driverless cars, the main concept behind it is artificial intelligence. So after attending these training sessions I can know more about this field and include that knowledge in our current project to enhance the quality of the project.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours Sincerely,

Mamta Gulia

[Shahbaz]

* ‘The advertisement of the same saw on the Internet.’ ( I saw the advertisement of the same on the Internet)

* ‘They’ not capitalized.

* I think it’s better not to use ‘please’ right after ‘I request…’

* ‘in our current project to enhance the quality of the project.’ (‘and enhance its quality’ is better )

4.5/6