[Unknown Member]

Governments which belong to the developed nation spending too much money to explore space. In my opinion, spending huge money in the field of astronomy is vain. This essay will argue why money should not spend more on space.

To begin with, many developed nations are rushing to discover about space. For instance, United States and Russia invests a lot in astronomy. They believe it is one of the way to expose their country as a powerful nation. The SpaceX is working on the project Mars and their aim is to make the Mars as comfortable planet to live. Even though there is shortage of Oxygen and water, they are trying to provide. They are spending billions and trillions of money for Mars instead, they can provide fund for the under developed countries. Countries like Siriya and Somalia people are starving for food.

In addition to that, many countries such as Afghanistan, Africa and Ethiopia there is less literacy rate. They can provide funds for these countries to enhance their literacy rate. The developed nations can allocate few reservations for these countries to increase the literacy rate. Also some countries like Ethiopia do not have medical facilities. Developed nations can spend money for the medical field for under developed nations.

To conclude with, spending more in space for Remote Sensing is acceptable because for the purpose of country’s security but, spending money beyond the limit is useless. It is impossible for us to reside in Mars so research like this is waste of time and money.

[Shahbaz]

“Governments which belong to the developed nation spending too much money to explore space”.

-A linking verb is missing here. It should be ‘are spending’ or it could have been just ‘spend’.
– ‘the developed nation’ should have been ‘developed nations’ ?
-‘ money should not spend more on space’ –> ‘more money should not be spent on space’
– ‘United States and Russia invests’ (invest) [subject-verb agreement error]

* ‘astronomy’ and ‘space travel’ are not exactly the same. Astronomy also includes studying the celestial bodies without space travel.
* ‘Syria’ not ‘Siriya’ (This is not really an issue)
* ‘ Countries like Siriya and Somalia people are starving for food.’ ( In countries like…)

* The conclusion introduces a new point related to ‘remote sensing’. Please check out the conclusions in the sample essays. We can add a new recommendation if we need to get to the word limit. However, in the conclusion paragraph, we always try to restate the main idea by paraphrasing it.

4/6

[Unknown Member]

Authorities in rich nations tend to spend extravagantly in exploration of space. In my opinion, the money spent is not wasted but is fruitful for the nation and the people worldwide. It unravels the mysteries and hidden truths of the universe that might be beneficial for the humankind and existence of planet Earth. This essay will further throw more light on dire need to explore the space.

Universe has reserved countless secrets and mysteries within itself for billions of years, which is yet to be unfolded. Despite years of scientific investigations and explorations, we are unable to make any major breakthrough in the field of astronomy. In order to reach out to any valuable data, we require major funding and investments on the behalf of the government. The principles of functioning of the universe can help us make our existence on Earth smoother. Moreover, space organizations provide immense employment opportunities and a platform to carry out research, especially for scientists, researchers and space enthusiasts.

The more we dig into the universe, the more we can ensure the survival of humankind. Future is unpredictable and human beings are vulnerable to any unfortunate catastrophe. One of the major concerns of scientists these days is to find a suitable planet for survival, with adequate living conditions and atmosphere, in the vast sea of celestial bodies. Numerous programs launched and money spent for this precious exploration is all worth it as it is all being held out to prevent extinction of homo sapiens in the future, in a situation of a natural calamity.

In conclusion, it is a fine practice to spend on space explorations and research programs as it brings us valuable information, beneficial for our own selves and our existence. It also opens the door for any future possibilities to accommodate another planet in a dire situation.

[Shahbaz]

* ‘light on the dire need..’

* I feel that ‘on behalf of the government’ cannot be used when you mean ‘from the government’ .

Your vocabulary is quite extensive and your grammatical control is excellent. However, there are a couple of word choices which sound a bit unusual. They don’t cause any confusion.

* ‘make our existence on Earth smoother‘

‘reserve secrets and mysteries’

‘reach out to valuable data’

5/6

[Unknown Member]

[Shahbaz]

* ‘on space exploration, especially by developed countries, often brings up..’ (commas)
* ‘is a sheer waste of ..’
* the sentence ‘have been able to find space’ is not entirely clear. Do you mean that they have been able to find planets?
* ‘a better place to live [the word here is not readable]’
* ‘the huge amounts of money spent of space exploration is…’ I think an ‘if’ might be missing at the beginning of this sentence. Please check.
* ‘as any amount’ not ‘any amounts’ (conclusion paragraph)

* 4.5/6

[Unknown Member]

A lot of money is being spent by developed nations in order to
explore space and find something valuable but most of the times this
money goes to waste. In my opinion, leaders of developed nations
should not spend huge amount of money to do so and this essay
will try to explain the same.

I think developed nations use funds collected from the citizens of that
nation and use that money for space exploration, Although it can be put
to better use. These nations have been exploring space from the past few
decades and the idea of doing so seems exciting to me also but looking
at the facts make me change my mind. These nations have not
found anything valuable in space that is useful for humans
from so many exploratory trips. No Planet is good for habitat of humans
as well as animals.

According to me, Developed nations have more responsibility towards
developing nations and they should help those in need of money.
Developing nations are already dealing with hunger, High illiteracy
rate, power cuts, water shortage, vaccine shortage and less exposure
to many resources. Helping developing nations will be for the betterment
of society. For example, To fight coronavirus we need immunity at the
world level but because developing nations have less vaccines achieving
that is a hard task, only chance of success at this is when
developed nations will come forward and help these nations.

To conclude, Space exploration is an exciting venture but we have too
many problems on earth which we should deal with first and money seems
to be solution for most of the problems. Governments should not spend
huge amount of funds on space activities and rather help those in need
of it.

[Shahbaz]

* ‘not spend huge amounts of money’
* You don’t have to preface an argument in the body paragraph with ‘I think…’

You wrote:

“I think developed nations use funds collected from the citizens of that
nation and use that money for space exploration, Although it can be put
to better use. “

You could have written:

“The funds that developed nations collect from their citizens and use for space exploration can be be put to better use”

* “from the past few
decades” (for the past few decades)

* “looking
at the facts make me change” (looking
at the facts makes me change) [This is called ‘the error of proximity’. Even though ‘facts’ comes right before the verb ‘make’, its subject is actually ‘looking at facts’ and that is grammatically singular and would take the -s form of the verb]

* “According to me, Developed nations” (The capital D makes no sense here. You capitalize letters at the beginning of sentences. The first letter after an introductory phrase is not capitalized)

* ” because developing nations have less vaccines, achieving
that is a hard task” (added a comma after ‘vaccines’)

* “only chance of success at this is when
developed nations will come forward and help these nations.”

– This could have been a separate sentence
– ‘when developed nations come forward’ – ‘will’ is not used with clauses starting with ‘after’ , ‘when’ ‘if’ etc.

” I will give him the product when he gives me the money” (not ‘when he will give)

Score : 4 or 4.5/6.

Some of the mistakes like unnecessary capital letters can be fixed quite easily. There is a lot of room for improvement.

[Unknown Member]

Now a days , In developed world , there is a rivalry between the government to explore the space and accordingly a lot of money is being expensed out . Do space exploration is a need of today? Or, Is space exploration simply a wastage of money? Well , I, myself is one of those, who believe that the space exploration is a trust worthy work which should be continued.

Some people argue that ‘the Government of developed world’ is , just to gratify their own ego , is spending hard earned money of taxpayer in an formidable task. This is, further illustrated by them that the wealth and resources, are being used in an unnecessary competition , can be used to feed millions of people. Many Children not only can be lifted from poverty line but also many premature deaths , which happen in dearth of treatment , can be prevented. Thus wasting of money in space exploration ought to be stopped and so the argument is got underscore.

While, on the other hand many people believe that space exploration is a matter of nations pride and should be kept continue . they always give precedency of space exploration over all other things. It is encapsulated further by them that as there are lots of perils like : Comets, asteroids hovering in the blue sky which may cause , if not taken properly, damage tp our environment and sometimes to our mother earth. By space exploration such stray invaders can be encountered proactively and therefore the utility of space exploration is grounded.

Eventually, it is true that space exploration is an exorbitant task , but it protect the earth as well. Space exploration can be perfectly denominated as an proactive approach , which , as our duty, ought to be continued and therefore the triumph the space exploration is proclaimed.

[Shahbaz]

* It is not recommended to put rhetorical questions in your introduction. Once you have paraphrased the question, write a thesis statement and an essay outline.

* “Do space exploration is a need of today?” — Is space exploration…today?

* One instance of a sentence starting with a small letter.

* Some of your word choices and use of commas are slightly unusual. For example, ‘expensed out’. ‘Competition’ and ‘rivalry’ are not exactly interchangeable. ‘Rivalry’ assumes some degree of hostility. These word choice errors can bring down the vocabulary score. The test expects your vocabulary to be not only varied, but also accurate and natural. That is to say that a native speaker or an educated reader would not find them unusual.

* ‘ the argument is got underscore.’ is not correct. –> I am not sure how correct this expression is. However, ‘is underscore’ does not work grammatically. It would have to be ‘is underscored’ or ‘gets underscored’ . A similar error – ‘should be kept continue’ (should be continued)

Score: 4.5/6

Some of your longer sentences demonstrate good grammatical intuition. However, the mistakes are not few and are quite noticeable.

[Unknown Member]

These days, it is noticed that research and development about space exploration have taken place by developed countries. Governments of those countries that are rich and have advanced technology are wasting an excessive amount of money on space exploration. I completely disagree with the opinion and will cast the reasons to support my view.

Scientists of developed nations have been researching space and its intricate structure for a long time. We have received many modern technologies due to their exploration and GPS( global positioning system) is one example of it. This technology is very intuitive and enables us to know everything about the route of destinations. For example, this technology gives every information which would require for a particular landing place such as, traffic, duration and shortcuts to reach out there.

Secondly, space is full of mystery, and we do not have any idea about what jeopardy is waiting for us. This space exploration help scientists to find out about the possible menace from space. The government have spent lots of money on modern technologies and types of equipment for more research in this field. These facilities enable scientists to study space and about any possible threat from space that could be disastrous for humankind.

To conclude, governments, of developed countries, should invest large amounts of money in the field of space exploration so that astronomers do more research on space and develop new technologies that would help humankind in future and also warn us about future hazardous situations.

[Shahbaz]

* We do not say that ‘[something] has taken place by [someone]’ . In this context, ‘have been conducted by’ would have been the best replacement.

* I’m not sure if ‘cast the reasons’ is correct. It could be. I could not find any sentences with it.

* “gives every information which would require for… ” (gives all kinds of information which would be required for…”

* “This space exploration help” (helps) subject-verb agreement error.

* ” study space and about any possible threat from space” – since this idea was already stated earlier as ‘to find out about the possible menace from space’, an example would have been better in its place.

Score : 4.5

There were quite a few error-free, well-written sentences. However, the errors are also quite noticeable.