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Task 2 ( 2 parts question)
Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life
. What do you think are the reasons for this?
Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Write minimum 250 words
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5 Replies
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@fal mam kindly evaluate my essay.
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one of my friend (friends)
adults decides (decide)
conclusion is not effective as it is too generic in nature.
There is absolutely no need to quote example after each and every reason as it seems too mechanical.
Task achievement is there. Although there is great improvement, you can add more range of cohesive devices and sentence structures.
Keep writing!!\
band: 3.5/6
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In contemporary world, younger generations are keen to have babies at their later stage rather than the ideal age. There are several reasons to the shift in this trend, such as career consciousness and quality time of being together post marriage without any commitments have changed mindset of individuals. It has advantages, however I am aligning towards disadvantages since it has adverse effects on their upcoming generations due to age gap and medical complications.
Firstly, today’s young people put their focus more on their career when compare to previous generations, but they are ignorant to have children. As they want to have their financial stability in the first place, other things become the less priority to them. To support this fact, we have witnessed in many countries that people have been giving more importance to their future prospects by pursuing higher studies up to age of 30 after which they think about life planning. What’s more, Some couples want to spend their quality time together by engaging in activities, such as exploring many places, playing games and doing adventure activities to understand each other intricately. Therefore, it leads to the procrastination of having offspring at the ideal time.
Although they are sensible in their relationship and career decisions by accounting in lot of factors, I strong believe they have been blinded by other repercussions this trend leads to. Most Importantly, it creates significant age gap between parents and children. As a result, both are having complications in getting along very well because maturity that both have is at extreme side of the spectrum Moreover, kids are getting slid into the situation of carrying financial burden at the early age due to the retirement of their parents and also supporting their health as parents become feeble and prone to illness at older age. These problems are not being factored in during the family planning.
To conclude, youngsters should weigh both career opportunities and life planning as both have equal significance in their life. If they trivialise the life planning by emphasising on another, it bring forth different problems in their life such as health complications on new born babies etc.. So youth should weigh in these aspects to ponder about having children at later sage.
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@fal kindly evaluate my essay mam…
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other things become (have lower priority) the less priority to them
they have been blinded by (from) other repercussions this trend leads to.
it (will) bring forth different
Keep writing!!
Band: 4.5/6
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