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Task 2 (Problem solution) : Brain drain
An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?
You need to write minimum 250 words, give reasons and support your answer with the help of relevant examples from your own experience.
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39 Replies
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In contemporary era, due to highly populated countries with undeveloped infrastructures, numerous of health care professionals and tutors are relocating to developed countries for better living. As a result this is causing talent scarcity and economy loss by migration of skilled people from unprogressive countries to industrialized countries.
The foremost reason is that lots of ambitious professionals wants to pursue their work and research in developed countries due to infrastructure provided and tools available. Work life balance is very high in those places with lots of benefits like wages, education and even healthcare side. In calculation also it’s proved that life span of the people is high in developed countries as great facilities provided. Due to shortage of skilled people, country is becoming poorer as there is no development happening and economy is getting plummet.
However, there are various solutions for these problems by creating good institutes which can providing research and work infrastructure so that medical practioners and educators get good exposure in their fields. Government should mandate basic salary for professionals with scholarship to pursue their studies in the same country with good incentives. Moreover, authority should collaborate with developed countries for short time visit so that professionals get chance to learn and bring new skills to home country. All this will result in increase in economy and good relationships with foreign countries as brain-drain will not happen for underdeveloped. For example, Srilanka’s situation is not hidden from the world as they are struggling for even leaving due to governments’ bad decision.
In conclusion, government has really need to work hard for keeping skilled people and retaining aspiring youth from migration to different countries by providing great employment opportunities and lucrative incentives.
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Introduction is mentioning causes and impacts , but it is not giving any idea about solutions
Again first body paragraph is just on the reasons , but question demands for the problems
which can providing (provide) research
Srilanka’s situation is not hidden from the world as they are struggling for even (what?) leaving due to governments’ bad decision.
Task achievement and cohesion is compromised throughout the essay.
Band: 2.5/6
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Developed countries can attract a lot of talent across the globe, because of the multiple benefits they offer like competitive pay scale, work-life balance, higher quality of education and so on. This has led to a wave of emigration of skilled professionals like doctors and teachers in poor countries which has caused major problems like increased skill demand, expensive professional fees, rising inflation and decreased quality services. However, government intervention with reforms in policies of taxation, education, salary structure can help in retaining domestic talent.
The foremost problems caused by lack of doctors and teachers in poor countries is that a lot of ailing people will be unattended and left for God’s grace.
As doctors and teachers emigrate, prices of these professional services will soar, thus pushing the mass towards poverty and leading to increased lead time for poor countries to recover and progress on the path of development.
Brazil, which is one of the largest hubs for graduate of doctors and teachers, had one doctor for 5000 citizen which is one of the lowest ratios. Professionals were requested from other countries to support them and ensure medical safety.
However, possible solutions to these problems would be robust government policies and education reforms.
Government policies like subsidizing income tax for certain professions, providing interest free loans to setup hospitals, schools in the country will help curb emigration.
Also, providing higher education scholarships and job placements in domestic companies will help professionals stay in their birthplace.
The United States is a perfect example on how to retain domestic talent. With policies like, minimum wage , compulsory domestic services and free education has helped build a good workforce.
To conclude, professionals leaving poor countries for better prospects is a big concern as it can impact poor country’s economy through rising inflation and resource scarcity. These can be controlled through various government initiatives and education reforms.
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The foremost problems (problem) caused by lack
Lexical resources, certainly there is room for improvement as many words found quite repetitive.
Keep writing!!
Band: 4/6
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The burning issue faced by under-developed countries is the upsurge in the migration of skilled workers in the search for a better lifestyle. The significant impact of this is on the young generation who remain untrained and leads to the lack of specialists in the vicinity. However, specific measures could come to the rescue like providing proper opportunities and imposing strict migration policies.
First and foremost, it is intuitively obvious that due to this brain drain, the upcoming generation would surely not have enough chances to learn from experts. Nonetheless, people have to travel far distances in order to be benefitted from skilled professionals such as doctors. There is ample evidence about how individuals from small towns have to move to metropolitan cities for being treated by certain specialized doctors. Thus, it is plausible that this movement of skilled professionals shall be a great loss to the natives.
However, some specific measures can help out to solve this burning issue like providing good civic amenities eventually leading to a settled life, and imposing high taxes to restrict immigration. To add, governmental organizations should work on setting laws and regulations which can support a person’s living in the local land, resulting in reduced migration. Hence, it is intro-controvertible that the described steps could solve the issue of migration to a certain extent.
To conclude, many professionals like doctors, architects, teachers and so on, prefer to move to a richer country in order to achieve a well-settled life. This decision has many associated problems which the natives suffer. Nonetheless, government and other organizations should come together to mitigate this challenge.
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Developed countries have become host to talented and meritorious professionals leaving behind
shortage of skilled people in their own countries. However, certain steps can be taken by the Government
to provide scholarships and better opportunities to encourage in-house employment.
Firstly, lack of subject expertise workforce is seen due to migration patterns. Such poor or developing countries
may lead to untrained future generation. One of the examples is in many cities of India ratio of teacher
to student has become 1:100 today. Consequently, it also causes shortage of facilities like quality education and medicals
in many cities. Secondly, as many skilled labor is moving to foreign nation for better opportunities,
countries economy can take a big hit in coming future.
However certain steps can be taken to mitigate the relocation of expert labors by providing sponsorships on higher
qualifications for the outperforming people. Also such professionals can be encouraged by providing satisfactory
wages. In addition, different governing bodies also can plan on imposing higher taxes or applying restriction on
count of people emigrating every year. For example, Singapore country always prefers local resources over foreigners
for any job openings and also impose heavy charges for allocating emigration work visas.
In conclusion , in order to encourage different professionals like doctors, nurses, tutors, IT professionals to
stick to their own origin country, government should create valued workplaces for them with good payment.
Additionally learn from different countries to impose or modify emigration laws to reduce relocation of skilled
labor to foreign locations and save the countries economy from drowning.
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countries economy (economy of the country/ GDP of country)
However(,) certain steps can be taken to mitigate the relocation of expert labors
A decent effort to achieve cohesion and task response, but need to work on sentence range, punctuation and lexical resources.
Sentences are simple , try to use dependent clauses , complex – compound structures.
Keep writing!!
Band: 3/6
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Total–> 426 words
In today’s era, it’s a fact that a lot of individuals such as doctors, teachers and engineers are moving towards developed countries. It is because there, they will get more job opportunities, more advance training compared to a poor or underdeveloped countries and the number is increasing day by day. It is a huge problem and if they can’t control this migration, in near future, it will cause a huge population crisis in both developed countries as well as underdeveloped countries.
There are a lot of reasons behind this problem of leaving the country. One of the main reasons is the high pay rates. In a developed country, the salary is so high compared to their own country, like if we compare India with United Kingdom, the salary an individual get in UK is a lot of higher that in India because of the difference in currency. 1 pound in UK means 97 INR. Here we can clearly see the difference which is huge. Another major problem is the quality of education. In the developed countries the quality of education is far better than the underdeveloped countries. For example, if we check the QS world ranking for engineering and technology, we will not find any Indian university within top 100 in 2023. Only three universities are there in top 200.
India is developing country, but if we try to compare it with the western countries, then we will get to know how much underdeveloped we are. To solve this immigration problem, we must overhaul everything. First, we need to overhaul the education sector, to do this we can take suggestions from different educationist from the developed countries. We should appoint someone on the top of the education sector, who have an brief idea about this. Because education is the basic need of a country and if we can’t solve this problem, then it will be very difficult to change this problem.
Another main issue is the job crisis, the job sector is not good in the underdeveloped countries. A lot of graduates are being unemployed in those poor countries, because they don’t have proper jobs. So, they are moving to those developing countries so that get can some jobs with a good salary.
People don’t want to leave their home country but rather than we can say, they are being forced to leave their country because of the unemployment and pay scale. It can be solved by providing more jobs with an attractive salary. Otherwise, as I said before, soon we may see a population crisis.
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Introduction lacks any information about solution
There are a lot of reasons behind this problem of leaving the country. One of the main reasons is the high pay rates. – question doesn’t demand causes.
Try to avoid the use of “we” , almost whole second B.P follows the same structure.
repetitive usage of words has been observed.
Paragraphing has not been done well. Introduce an idea , discuss it and compile it.
Lack of sentence structure variety and cohesive devices
Band: 2/6
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Ok Falak…
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In today’s scenario lot of employees in the profession of doctor and teacher are fleeing from their deprived country to richer nations because of better salary and lifestyle. This situation have led to scarcity of skilled employees and impacting the economy, however these problem can be solved by providing attractive wages and doing collaborations with international bodies
To begin with, the decline in the percentage of well trained employees is affecting the country from top to grass root level. Migration can be seen due to high salary packages and better job benefits, especially in Medical and Education sectors. It is directly affecting the literacy and medical infrastructure of country. In addition, this practice is impacting economy and worsening it. The contribution by these professionals in tax and revenue is decreasing drastically, moreover pushing the service sector a bit behind. For instance, my school friend after completing his medical practice went to Europe for job because of lucrative earning; however there has been scarcity of doctors in our country.
Now talking about the solutions, giving a good salary to people of these fields can convince them to work at home country; furthermore, providing them with extra benefits and bonus can enhance their job lifestyle. Meanwhile, collaboration with foreign organization will definitely enrich the opportunities to work on the same projects and job profiles for which they are leaving the country. This will give them a job satisfaction; moreover they will also contribute to the nation. For example, our government have collaborated and loosen the policies which have forced a lot of big multinational companies such as Microsoft, Google, Apple have to establish their offices in India.
In conclusion, fleeing of doctors and teacher is impacting our economy and reducing their number, but collaboration with foreign institutions and improving their wage can help in stopping the migration of these professionals. In my opinion one should always contribute in building of the nation.
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Lexical resources can be improved.
There is absolutely no need of using cohesive devices in each and every sentence , but where it is actually required.
Keep writing!!
Band: 3.5/6
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There is an increase in the migration of working professionals from their poor countries to rich countries. This essay discusses the problems such as the shortage of skilled professionals, along with that it has an adverse impact on the country’s economy. These problems can be averted by taking proper measures to generate employment opportunities and by enacting strict migration policies.
Firstly, the migration of skilled workforce from poor countries has been affecting the nation in several factors, such as a reduction in skilled workers and a negative impact on the country’s revenue. Companies in economically weaker nations are shutting down because they couldn’t find skilled labour which matches their requirements due to the migration of talents. As a result, the closing down of factories has a cascading effect on the country’s economy. The government couldn’t manage their expenditures and investment in various sectors for development due to fewer taxes paid by firms.
However, the government can take proactive measures to avert a financial crisis by generating employment opportunities. Governments can simplify the process of setting up new companies and also support them in ease of doing business, which in turn will result in the generation of more employment opportunities. In addition, the government can enact minimum wages and strict migration policies by asking them to serve the nation or to work in local companies for at least a minimum of years after pursuing their education. The minimum wage policy will provide a morale boost for workers to work in their native countries since it will entice them to work here if they are not finding any big deviation in the pay scale between their countries and rich nations.
In conclusion, the Migration of skilled labour to richer nations due to lucrative wages and promising careers results in brain drain and shortage of skilled people. Consequently, it wreaks havoc country’s economy. It can be alleviated by providing incentives and subsidies in addition to streamlining the process of ease of doing business, which results in generating more job opportunities.
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repetitive usage of words
Sentence structure needs to be improved, grammatical range is missing.
Keep writing!!
Band: 3/6
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@fal thanks for the feedback..it would be good if you can highlight some sentences which have issues with sentence structure and examples on grammatical range. so that it would be helpful for it to identify and work on it.
Thanks for that.
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There is an increase in the migration of working professionals from their poor countries to rich countries. This essay discusses (as a result, there are) the problems such as the shortage of skilled professionals, along with that it has an adverse impact on the country’s economy. (, but) These problems can be averted by taking proper measures to generate employment opportunities and by enacting strict migration policies. – combining the sentences with appropriate conjunctions , and avoid the usage of memorized sentences like “this essay discusses”
The addition of dependent clauses, conditional sentences, combination of compound and complex sentences would embellish the writing even better. Rest is fine.
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In recent times, highly skilled workers are migrating to richer nations owing to various reasons. This movement will aggravate problems such as skill scarcity and economic loss to their native country. Providing better infrastructure and offering scholarships to pursue higher studies for advancement in their career are some ways to retain the talent.
Firstly, the main problem is due to brain drain in poor countries in the areas such as research, medicine and education. This will deteriorate the country’s economy and the living conditions for individuals. Furthermore, owing to a lack of skilled professionals, their citizens struggle to get a higher level of education and health services. For instance, a recent study in Norway proved that scientists were not able to conclude research on an emerging virus on account of a shortage of virologists in their country. Secondly, the skilled workforce were also paid lesser salaries compared to their counterparts in developed nations. Hence, this also made them to look for highly paid jobs in wealthier nations. Therefore Government should act immediately to address this problem at the earliest to overcome the shortage of skilled people in key areas.
One possible solution is to provide good wages and scholarships to skilled workers in their respective fields. For instance, interns and junior professionals can be provided training for advancement in their careers along with highly paid job offers from reputed institutions. This will inspire them to serve for their native country and also be beneficial for the citizens of the country in terms of services. Another possible solution is to provide better infrastructure in order to pursue their higher studies in their respective fields by networking with international bodies.
In conclusion, if given the financial support and living conditions to the skilled professionals, they would not immigrate to the more economically developed nations.
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Therefore(,) Government should act immediately to
at certain places instead of framing short sentences repeatedly, you could have used punctuation.
do include dependent clauses.
Keep writing!!
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Foreign companies gives much opportunities to working professionals such as doctors and teachers.These days,there has been a trend of migration of people from their home country to a more developed nation as they value their skill well.The movement of working professionals has lead to many problems like brain drain,like professionals leaving their parents alone.There can be a few solutions to it like giving better opportunities,good wages,good quality of life.
The relocating of experts from one destination to another has many consequences like leaving their parents alone,brain drain.For example,in the time of COVID-19 the professionals who had left their families alone had faced a very tough time as in the case of medical emergency no one was with them to take care of them.Futhermore,there were also some instances when their childrens didn’t attended their parents funeral as they were very far from them and it was impossible to reach their home country due to lockdown imposed in the wake of covid restrictions.
To overcome this problem there a a few solutions to it. Firstly,their home companies should value their skills well and moreover they should pay them good wages so that they don’t have to shift to a new place.For example,If a person sitting in his home town gets good quality of life,good work balance why will he think of moving to a new place.Secondly,goverment should make good policies for foreign companies so they can start their business in each and every country so that less people have to left their country for working.
To recapitulate,goverment should make some laws for companies to give fix salaries to professionals according to their education and also good work balance life to stop the trend of relocating of working professionals from their home country.
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Foreign companies gives (give) much opportunities
repetitive usage of words (working professionals, home country, good work balance, ..). Need to work on lexical resources.
short sentences in entire essay hence, lacks variety and range
when their childrens (children) didn’t attended (attend) their parents (parents’) funeral
good work (life) balance
people have to left (leave) their country for working.
There is need to work on tenses as well.
Keep writing!!
Band: 2.5/6
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Nowadays a significant quantity of people having professional skills ,such as doctors and teachers ,are passionate to leave their own country and are shifting to developed nations in search of greener pastures. This situation of migration of so many professionals is causing problems for both developed and developing countries.in this essay I will discuss what are the problems arising due to such migration and what are possible remedies to overcome such situation.
Fisrtly,due to huge number of professional migrants to developed countries triggers scenario of unemployment and over competition for professionals who are natives to developed countries.For instance,a mammoth number of IT professionals from India left India and reached US for high emoluments and better working conditions.This situation has caused lot of anger and rebel in native citizens as they have limited job opportunities now.
secondly, the developing nations whose professionals with polished skill sets are going out ,face lack of skilled doctors, engineers and teachers. This causes lowering of quality and services of our education and medical system.
All causes and effects considered, in my opinion government should optimize the number of movements of professionals to other countries and create better opportunities of employment prospects and reward system so that the skilled professional feels more recognized and appreciated.
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Nowadays a significant quantity of people having professional skills ,such as doctors and teachers ,are passionate to leave their own country and are shifting to developed nations in search of greener pastures. This situation of migration of so many professionals is causing problems for both developed and developing countries.in this essay I will discuss what are the problems arising due to such migration and what are possible remedies to overcome such situation.
The foremost problems caused by increasing number of professionals displacing are unemployment, overcompetetion,in developed countries and lowering of quality of education and medical system in developing countries. Due to huge number of professional migrants to developed countries, it triggers scenario of unemployment and over competition for professionals who are natives to developed countries.For instance,a mammoth number of IT professionals from India left India and reached US for high emoluments and better working conditions. This situation has caused lot of anger and rebel in native citizens as they have limited job opportunities now. Furthermore, the developing nations whose professionals with polished skill sets are going out ,face lack of skilled doctors, engineers and teachers. This causes lowering of quality and services of our education and medical system.
Possible solutions to these problems would be that government should optimize the number of movements of professionals to other countries and create better opportunities of employment prospects and reward system so that the skilled professional feels more recognized and appreciated. if the quantum of professionals going out is regulated ,it will not seriously hurt the employment scenario in developed countries. Furthermore, better opportunities for professionals in own country will give them hope to get better recognition and reward thereby discouraging them to move out.
To conclude,more and more migration of skilled manpower from developing countries to developed countries poses serious problems.regulating the movement of such people and rewarding and recognizing them in their own country could be a possible solution.
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Nowadays, moving abroad for carer progression is becoming more common among teachers and health care workers in underdeveloped countries. This essay will discuss the causes that have been brought by this trend and also explain the solutions to change this situation.
To begin with, there are several problems faced by underdeveloped countries due to educational and health care staffs brain drain. Firstly, It has caused a lack of professionals in the health industries as result patients do not get the attention on time that is needed by experienced doctors. For example, there are always job openings for trained doctors in poor countries. Secondly, It is difficult to find qualified and fully pledged teachers because most of them move to wealthy countries to upskill them for economical benefits hence students from needier countries are deprived of the quality of education by experienced tutors. For instance, My friend’s son is attending the weekly English online classes thought by a trained Australian teacher. Therefore, less developed countries will not be able to offer their citizens good education and health care in return, which will hinder their ability to compete on a global scale and it might lead to a devastating situation in emergent nations.
However, there are a lot of measures that can be taken to control and gradually arrest these issues. Primarily government should increase the wages and provide free training for health and education sector workers in return, they can also be asked to sign a bond for certain years to remain the employment to benefit the particular industry and also service users. In addition to that, particular industries should come up with new ideas to enhance professional workers’ skills by providing paid occupational training and survey should be conducted at least once a year to fix any issue and improve their well-being. To illustrate, providing life insurance to health and educational workers and to their families to encourage more people to remain at work and also younger adults to join the workforce. so by taking the following actions poorer countries can retain the professionals and also can benefit both.
To conclude, It is clearly evident that problems due to migration includes a dearth of talents and less dedicated skilled workers in the home country, while, the suggestion to reverse this trend is to increase their salary and make the professional courses free and provide more beneficial perks to keep them in the country.
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50 Mins,
Due to globalization, growing numbers of professionals are intended to work in developed nation rather then their own developing countries and make them evolved. Which ultimately hurt the growth of already struggling nation due to lack of skilled workforce and loss of revenue generation by specialist services. However, few measures in socio-economic upgrades could rescue those depriving nations to loss their experts.
To begin with, Outward immigration creates scarcity of expert professionals in already struggling deprived countries for growth. Consequently, it may negatively affect major development of country in science and technology where specialists are required in these services. Moreover, it could affect the overall revenue generation, which could be collected by exporting the specialist services by country to boost their economy. For instance, India needs more software developer to fulfill the Digital Mission of Indian Government but due to high immigration of engineers towards western nations, relevant projects are struggling to be completed. Hence, it is a direct loss of investment and revenue due to the skilled workforce leaving the nation.
Further, to coup up with the situation government of developing nation should take few socio-economic measures like professionals should be treated with respect and few professional organizations should be formed through which experts could be rewarded and recognized for their contribution towards nation. Moreover, government and organization should ensure to provide better pay, facilities and working condition comparable with developed countries. For instance, when Singapore was facing the brain-drain situation in engineering field in 90s, then government start a national reward and recognition program to motivate their engineers which increased the retention by 50%. So, effort by government and organization can help to retain professionals.
All in all, holding back their people who are moving towards developed nation is a bit tricky, as professional moved to those countries for a better work-life. But with the help of some balanced approach towards betterment of pay, social security benefits, facilities, appreciation, and motivation it could be reduced significantly.
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developed nation(s) rather then (than) their own developing
evolved. (Period is not required as the sentence is in continuation and connected by which)Which ultimately hurt the growth
nations to loss (lose)
software developer(s)
to coup up with (to cope with)
then government start (started) a national reward
effort(s)
All in all, (To conclude,)
developed nation is a (“a) is redundant here) bit tricky,
professional moved (move/moving) to those countries
Feedback: Certainly, there is an effort to make complex sentences, but I would like to see more variety of subordinating conjunction , not just “which” . Great range of Cohesive devices are there like In addition to, furthermore, adding to this … need not to be “moreover” all the time.
Keep writing!!!
Band: 4/6
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Kindly upload in pdf format with sequence of pages.
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These days, a high number of skilled professionals are migrating from their motherlands to economically developing nations. These essay will suggest that the biggest problems caused by this phenomenon are scarcity of skilled workers in the developing countries and fear and insecurity among the residents of the developed countries, then argue that attractive salary packages and better health and job security can be the most viable solutions of this problem.
The foremost problem caused by the brain drain is the shortage of skilled workers in the developing counties, which is causing a delay in order to progress these countries. People are born and raised in the poorer countries, but when is the time to give back they are leaving their motherland. Indian villages are still suffering for doctors and poor medical facilities where every year huge number of doctors are graduated from here. Furthermore, this causes a serious fear and insecurity for the people of developing nations as many skilled highly professional workers migrated to their countries which results in job insecurity.
However, some specific measures can help out to solve this burning issue like providing better job and social security. As the jobs in developing nations are mostly dependent on the developed countries, sometimes massive lay-off happens. Developing countries need to produce their own products which will create more job openings, and they no need to depend on other rich countries. In addition to this, the salary structures and the working hours of the employees also should be revised to make it more employee friendly environment.
To conclude, more and more migration of skilled manpower from developing countries to developed countries are causing serious problems but if few measures and changes can be done in developing countries, these can be controlled.
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economically developing (developed) nations
These (This) essay
which is causing a delay in (the growth of these countries) order to progress these countries.
but when is the time (the time comes) to give back
repeated usage of words ( insecurity, skilled,
(and thus, there will be no need )they no need to depend on other rich countries.
employees (should also be revised) also should be revised to make it more employee (supportive working culture) friendly environment.- need to avoid repetitive usage of words.
more and more migration of skilled manpower from developing countries to developed countries are (is) causing serious problems
Feedback : Need to work on lexical resources
Band: 3.5/6
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It is observed that masses tend to migrate out of their motherland for upskilling their knowledge, and in search of better opportunities. Due to this, multiple problems have emerged and solutions to it must be found as well as implemented.
To begin with, developing countries, especially South Asia, are a major source of skilled professional’s migration to developed countries. As a result, all the latest inventions and innovations in scientific as well as information technology fields now belong to these developed nations. Moreover, this has caused a brain- drain situation along with least inhouse technological progress thereby, stealing nation’s opportunity to prosper. Furthermore, nation’s economy is affected as the tax revenue from these persons is lost which in turn fuels hindrance of development of infrastructure for research. Consequently, developing countries prolong to stay behind in overall development.
In order to tackle these issues, the foremost solution is to strengthen the economic policies along with labour laws. Firstly, to retain the migrated labour, the country can spend hefty amount on developing the infrastructure required for research like setting up numerous labs with latest equipment. Although some expatriates would not come again permanently, but a collaborative approach of exchanging the education and enhancing the skills of own’s masses through their knowledge could prove to be beneficial to improve the shortage of skilled people. Furthermore, if possible, lucrative job positions should be made available to reattract these professionals especially for scientists, professors and doctors.
In conclusion, skilled professionals who have emigrated in search of better opportunities are recoverable assets who can play a part in developing opportunities at home. However, recovery requires the opening of diverse and creative conduits.
Time taken:- 41 min ..
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major source of skilled professional’s (professionals and they are migrating ) migration to developed countries.
with (the) least inhouse technological progress
Good attempt with good usage of lexical resources
Keep writing!!
Band: 4.5/6
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imgrate (immigrate)
which were (are) developed countries
their home countries faced (face)
in their home countries (there is ) lot of competition
careerier (Career)
There is no need to explain reasons in introduction
doctors and teachers have not got (don’t get) extra facility
to (in) the United States of America
To (In) conclusion
Feedback : This essay is not answering the question (what problems this trend is causing) . There is need to work on all the four parameters. Basic sentence formation definitely needs to be consider.
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from there (their) own
the correct usage is “Not only…..but also”
sunder pichai (Sunder Pichai)- proper noun
to deal with this (,)
appeating (appealing)
one of the example(s)
almost all the sentences in B.P 2, are monotonous in structure (must)
Would like to see more dependent clauses / complex structures.
Good effort with lexical resources.
Band: 3.5/6
Keep writing !!
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In nowadays, a large number of officials such as doctors and teachers are migrated to other countries due to the lack of resources and poor salary. This essay will portray about the biggest problems caused by leaving your homeland are effects on economy, lack of better education and healthcare facilities. To begin with, developing countries like south asian countries and african countries most of the migrants are unwilingy to leave their motherland for a better quality of life. In India, it seems like people are shifted to other countries due to the lack of resources as well as for better salary especially in doctors and teachers. The system of India is creaked due to the large amount of scams etc. It is believed that a large number of scams affect the economoy and increase the inflation rate. Due to inflation rate, the medical equipments who are purchased by other countries are become too costly to buy as well as in educational institution, teachers have to suffer to maintain thei budget to run his family. To tackle this condition, the indian govt have to point out the mistakes which are made by them. They have to work more on cyber security system to catch scamsters like Lalit modi, Vijay malayya etc. I think each and every indian does not forget their culture and moral values which is an identifiation for their. However, Indian govt has to make a better plan or strategy to secure the life of people. To conclude, it is cleared that system of India is a major defect which affects the growth rate in development. Hence, the doctors and teachers are in undercompulsion to leave their motherland.
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paragraphing should be done properly
Introduction is not highlighting about solutions
south asian (South Asian) countries and african (African) countries
migrants are unwilingy to (willingly ) leave their motherland
better salary especially in (“in” is redundant) doctors and teachers.
economoy (economy)
equipments who (which) are purchased by other
to run his (their) family
which is an identifiation (identification) for their.(?)
First body paragraph talks about causes while the question is about “effects”, hence B.P 1 is off the track .
Kindly be cautious with the points mentioned above.
Band : 2.5/6
Keep writing!!
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The professionals are increasing day by day such as the doctors, engineers and other professional, they are willingly to leave their own country to move in the developed countries. Why because the lack of social life, salary structure, work life balance and rising inflation to reduce the quality of the services in the poor countries but still governments are intervening to make the policies like taxation, education and salary structure can help the domestic talent to retain in the country.
Firstly the doctors and teachers are key skill in the every country, and they are known as a GOD in the nations because these two professions are the lifesaving or giving life to all ages people, but in the poor courtiers their talent has not been recognised or they have not been paid as per their skill, so in that case the skilled professional want to move in the developed courtiers like USA, Germany, UK and many more, these nations really recognise their talent and well paid off. For instance in India ,we are producing the huge number of the doctors and teacher so the competition is very high to get the job in this country, and also having large population and salary structure also not as per their talent.
Furthermore having the degree still facing problems to get good job in these country because their financial conditions are not good to pay required salary. However the if skilled professionals are leaving the native country to move different nation , which will help to other nation by giving the taxes in their nations which will lead to generate economic growth in their country rather than the native country. In addition to this, becoming the skilful in own the country but this knowledge will be fledged in the other countries.
To conclude that the dealing with these situation government needs to cope with their salary and recognition so that talent can flourish in domestically rather than the migrate to the other nations, the government should give the relaxation in taxes and improve the quality of services and balance work life. Which will help to the professionals to stay back in their native country.
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