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Writing Task 2 (Competition vs Cooperation)
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe
that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe
that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
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7 Replies
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Few individuals think that a sense of competition in youngsters should be encouraged, while others feel that children who are taught to work in groups rather than doing it alone become more useful human beings. Though both has got some plus and minus.
According to me, kids should be encouraged to compete with their friends or classmates to improve their talents. It is a kind of motivation that is done by their parents or teachers to increase their spirit of learning.
Through motivation, children can learn to work hard and develop themselves to complete their task independently. It gives them the joy of winning and in case if they lose, they will find the way to improve themselves in future. Obviously, students can learn from their mistakes that they have done in the past. Usually two children studying in the same house will try to compete with each other irrespective of their class they study. Parents used to encourage their spirit by awarding them some gifts for their success in school examination.
Few people think that rather than competing among peers, doing things in groups and learning to co-operate with others will make the children grow as useful adults. They can learn from their peer group and they also improve their inter-personal skills. Working with peers will give them multiple ideas and they can think creatively as well. Kid won’t be getting superiority complex too. They enjoy their time with peers and learn from them side by side.
Sometimes, if they don’t have any competitor then they will show lack of interest in their studies. So, I would like to conclude here that kids can be encouraged to compete with their age group to succeed in their goals.
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Few individuals think that a sense of competition in youngsters should be encouraged, while others feel that children who are taught to work in groups rather than doing it alone become more useful human beings.According to me, if kids are encouraged to compete with their(peers) this will be a motivation for them to achieve more.This essay will throw some light on its merits of
Competition makes children learn to work hard and develop themselves to complete their tasks independently. It gives them the joy of winning, and if they lose, they will find a way to improve themselves in the future. Obviously, students can learn from their mistakes that they have done(made) in the past. Usually, two children studying in the same house will try to compete with each other, irrespective of the class they are in. Parents used to encourage their spirit by awarding them some gifts for their success in school examinations.
Few people think that rather than competing among peers, doing things in groups and learning to co-operate with others will make children grow into useful adults. They can learn from their peer group and also improve their interpersonal skills. Working with peers will give them multiple ideas, and they can think creatively as well. Kids won’t be getting superiority complex too. They enjoy their time with their peers and learn from them side by side.
Sometimes, if they don’t have any competitors, they will show a lack of interest in their studies. So, I would like to conclude here that kids can be encouraged to compete with their age group to succeed in their goals.
Feedback:
-Words in Bold and in brackets are corrections.
-Introduction should be complete and in one paragraph.
-Conclusion is an overall summary , avoid using ‘ sometimes’ when you are starting with the conclusion paragraph.
-Need to work on synonyms and other vocab words .
-Cohesive devices/connectors are missing.
-Examples should be included in BParagraphs.
Bands – 3/6
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Few people believe that competitiveness among kids should be promoted while others feel that youngsters should coordinate with each other to become a successful person. It is agreed that collaboration is more important which creates positivity among children. This essay firstly discuss about benefits of collaboration, followed by the impact due to competition and finally the conclusion.
Collaboration among students creates an optimized environment because they can get a lot of ideas from others. Co-operating with each other makes easier for them to learn new things quickly. For example, if a child knows only few things about a particular topic they can easily learn few more things from their peer. Teamwork completes a task faster and gives the best output.
Competition contributes more to the self improvement of the individual and increases negativity in the younger generation. Here the people with more confidence are able to move faster than the people with low self esteem. Competitiveness leads to fear, stress, anxiety and communication gap among children. In this kind of environment they won’t be able to expand their network.
In conclusion, collaboration is far better than the competition. In order to have a useful and growing career, it is recommended to encourage collaboration among children.
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Few people believe that competitiveness among kids should be promoted, while others feel that youngsters should coordinate with each other to become a successful person. It is agreed that collaboration is more important which creates positivity among children. This essay firstly discuss about(discusses the) benefits of collaboration, followed by the impact due to(of) competition and finally the conclusion.
Collaboration among students creates an optimized environment because they can get a lot of ideas from each other. Co-operating with each other makes it easier for them to learn new things quickly. For example, if a child knows only few things about a particular topic, they can easily learn a few more things from their peers. Teamwork completes a task faster and gives the best output.
Competition contributes more to the self improvement of the individual and increases negativity in the younger generation. Here, people with more confidence are able to move faster than people with low self esteem. Competitiveness leads to fear, stress, anxiety and communication gap among children. In this kind of environment, they won’t be able to expand their network.
In conclusion, collaboration is far better than competition. It is recommended to encourage collaboration among children in order to have a useful and growing career.
Feedback:
Words in Bold and in brackets are corrections.
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Essay does not match the word limit. Your word limit is 205.
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Grammatical errors. Do not use The with ‘people’.
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Need to work on Grammatical range and use more connectors
Band Score – 2.5 / 6
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There are people who believe a growing children should have a sense of competition, others believe teaching children cooperation is more important as it allows them to function well in their life. In my opinion, I believe children should focus on cooperation so that they serve society. In this essay I will provide Both the view points and logical conclusion.
People emphasising on competition because they see it as a source of upgradation of knowledge and growth. As When an individual is Competing against the other person, they work on their weakness and analyse the strengths of competitor. For instance, in competition people develop skills which they couldn’t developed when they had no competition.
However, other view that cooperation is key to peace of mind and self-awareness. When a child learns to work in teams, all of them grow together. Also, there is no mental stress. For example, studies have shown those who are working with people are emotionally intelligent as result they contribute to uplift society.
In conclusion, people keep on working themselves in competition, whereas, those who cooperate lead a more peaceful life. However, mental health should be top priority and same should be taught to children so that they lead healthy life.
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There are people who believe growing children should have a sense of competition. Others believe teaching children cooperation is more important as it allows them to function well in their lives. In my opinion, I believe children should focus on cooperation so that they can serve society. In this essay, I will provide both the view points and a logical conclusion.
People place emphasis on competition because they see it as a source of upgradation of knowledge and growth. When an individual is competing against another person, they work on their weaknesses and analyse the strengths of the competitor. For instance, in competition, people develop skills that they couldn’t develop when they had no competition.
However, other views suggest that cooperation is key to peace of mind and self-awareness. When a child learns to work in a team, all of them grow together. Also, there is no mental stress. For example, studies have shown those who are working with people are emotionally intelligent and it contributes to the overall development of society.
In conclusion, people keep on working in competition, whereas those who cooperate lead a more peaceful life. However, mental health should be top priority and the same should be taught to children so that they lead healthy lives.
Feedback:
-Words in Bold and in brackets are corrections.
-Incorrehent ideas
-Need to work on synonyms and other vocab words .
-Essay does not match the word limit. Your word limit is 205.
– Grammatical errors like capital and small letters.
Band score – 2.5/6
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Few persons mostly believe that children should be more competitive, they might be achieving something rather than cooperative with adult. Probably the children don’t have the level of maturity to judge themselves, so they must mingle with some folks to enhance some thing better. In this essay mainly discuss about competition or coordinate of children which more beneficial.
Competition is basic version of children who can score better than others, but thing is children are being selfish because when they are coordinating with someone, they feel that there were donating the valuable thing to others.
Coordinating with someone obviously internally the children are in trance that there were in completion between them. But children should be cooperative with adults, because the adults when they are giving guidance to children, just they are avoiding the difficulties which are faced that moment and delivering the ambitious things. But most of parents they believe children should gain as much as compared to others.
Many of the times cooperative is better as compared to competition. Competition is just a matter of scoring some time higher compared to others, that can be achieve drastically by keep on studying something for plenty of times. But cooperation or coordination are most beneficial to children can choose right way to start with any break points .
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