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WRITING TASK 2: POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT+ OPINION ESSAY (TECHNOLOGY)
Some people use technology to take advice for their medical problems rather than seeing a doctor. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
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12 Replies
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Technology has revolutionized the entire world and people often rely on it for medical consultation; however, recent research suggests that depending upon unverified information, without qualified opinion, can be detrimental. People usually resort to self-medication, justifying themselves to be jack of all trade, thereby endangering their life. I strongly discourage such self-inflicting negative attitude in the society.
Among all, the most popular method to gather such details, is with the help of Internet, which can be accessed from every corner of the world, thereby, providing crucial contradicting data at fingertips of the masses. For example, an illiterate person sitting in remote village of a third world country, can acquire the information provided by a distantly located doctor, without realizing the consequences of methods crucial to process that particular information. In addition, harnessing medical advice without proper consultation should be strongly averted.
Although, this technological revolution, has not only helped us in enabling reach of therapies to far off places, but has also catered to the range of paramedics promptly, in the need of an hour. For instance, when the whole mankind was confined to the perimeter of their shelters, during worldwide covid-19 restrictions, technology proved itself to be the only silver lining. In fact, doctors’ resort to tele-consultation, for treating their patients, without it, there could have been serious repercussions.
Furthermore, despite this digitization boon, people often resort to misleading information, easily acquired through popular social media platforms. I firmly believe that unregulated and accessible information, pertaining to an ailment, should be given under a physician only.
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INTRODUCTION: paraphrase without adding any extra information
write a thesis statement
BP 1: of the masses- for the masses
BP 2: in the need of an hour- unnecessary
CONCLUSION: use conclusion linkers and sum up main points
BAND SCORE: 3/6 Keep Writing!
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Some people prefer not to consult with doctors about medical problems that they suffer from, but rather opt for looking for reasonable solutions using technology such as the internet. In my opinion, if the online platform they use is trustworthy and correct, it could greatly improve the quality of medical care for the society.
First and foremost, is the genuity of the online platform. If the website is not written by professional healthcare workers, it could lead to devastating consequences. The person and site owners who published such articles are not held accountable for passing wrong information in such cases. Strictly enforcing laws to curbing such practices and also by using only trustworthy sites can help. These patients who rely on such wrong information are the ones who are affected. They may try to treat their condition with the wrong medication and find no improvement. This constitutes a negative effect of using the internet rather than consultations with professional doctors.
On the other hand, if the websites are genuine and the information is correct, people will benefit the most as it saves them time and money. Mild diseases can be treated without seeking professional advice by following the remedy and solutions for treating such diseases and from websites. This can save a lot of money from visiting the doctors who are mostly overloaded with patients. By treating such conditions at home, it would free up the precious and valuable time of doctors who can treat others who are in dire need of help. Moreover, the patient having knowledge and background about their illness can help the doctors to convince and explain to them the benefits of treating it more easily and also to make the right medical decisions.
To conclude, if the online search for information is trustworthy and genuine then mild medical problems can be cured by the people, and this is a positive development.
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INTRODUCTION: opt for looking for- rewrite more clearly
BP 1: curbing- curb
by using- using
BP 2: from visiting- rephrase
BAND SCORE: 3/6 Keep Writing!
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Nowadays, It seems that certain people avoid government accredited physicians to seek opinions for their medical issues instead they prefer online portals such as youTube portals, twitter, facebook and other emerging information technology websites. As far as I’m concerned, I totally disagree with this movement as it will lead to the drastic detrimental health impact in the society.
Firstly, I believed that our folks blindly believe the attractive false news propagation in the online broadcasting channels such as YouTube channels, in instagram, googleplus etc, without knowing its impact they follow the same, acquires sudden illness, thereby create complexities on theirselves, at last meet the doctors, give extra headaches to physicians as well. Generally, since many online portals know the tactics to attract some kind of people by giving false proposals, many persons got attracted towards their medical suggestions, liking it, getting drastically affected, at the end reaching the medical specialists. furthermore, this kind of activities show people’s ignorance and their inefficiency to judge the correct method of approach. For instance, I would say this same kind of incidence got happened in my house, when my mother followed the Facebook direction for treating her dermatitis issues, following their guidance, faced several side effects, finally went to doctor who took some extra effort to cure that problem. So, we should use our knowledge wisely to get rid of these activities.
Secondly, As many individuals seek more kinds of suggestions like fast relief form their medical illness, easy way of diagnosing method, they tend to search solutions in many online portals, getting their desired results which might be very harmful to them. After that, on following those suggestions , affected with additional diseases. I feel that at currently because of the people’s tendencies to move towards many short cut techniques to get the speedy recovery in addition to their mindset of easy recovering ways from their diseases without taking any risks, they show the great interest in searching the solution in live channels and other websites, ending up with negative impacts. For instance, I read one article in Indian Express which stated that one of the widespread fake institutions named SKB foundations whose headquarters located at NewDelhi, misleaded many individuals with their false promising statements to cure kidney kind of ailments, resulted in negative effects in them, finally Government banned that firm. This could be avoided, if they consulted the good physicians in advance.
So, we can conclude that persons getting the ideas from fast moving technologies to cure any kind of diseases other than seeking correct treatment from experienced healthcare professions always end up with demerits impacts in their health condition either suddenly or after some quite period of time. So, folks should take necessary steps to get treatment from medical professionals as far as possible.
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INTRODUCTION: paraphrase clearly without adding extra information
impact in- impact on
BP 1: believed- believe
in Instagram- on Instagram- take care of proper nouns
got happened- happened
don’t quote personal examples
BP 2: harmful to- harmful for
at currently- currently
the speedy- speedy
the great- a great
in live- on live
impacts- impact
the good- a good
CONCLUSION: demerits impacts- rephrase
BAND SCORE: 2.5/6 Keep Writing! Work on your grammar.
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Nowadays, people are using technology as a solution for their medical problems instead of visiting the doctors. In my opinion, it is a very negative development as it can lead to some really serious problems at present or even in the future. People often take the help of internet to cure their illness but they don’t realize what impact it can have in the near future.
At times we search for some medical issue online and end up finding reading about something really serious which makes us more vulnerable to the situation. Although, internet has given us the access to so many new things, it has changed our lives in a great manner. People now can get an appointment online for which they used to stand in long queues and wait but somewhere the access to information about medical issues is negatively impacting our society. For example, having a problem of tonsillitis doesn’t only depict that it is due to eating extreme cold or extreme hot food, sometimes the reason is the underlying history of tonsillitis of the person. There might be many reasons for the ailment but to know the exact reason and treatment for the same, visiting a doctor is really very important.
On one hand taking the help of internet for medical assistance is having a disastrous effect on the society but on the other hand somewhere even the doctors and the hospitals are equally responsible for this situation. We often see doctors prescribing for some unnecessary medical tests and hospitals charging a huge amount of fees and somewhere this has forced the society to take help of the technology rather than visiting the doctor.
In conclusion, So, in order to avoid this exploitation from the hospitals and the doctors people end up using the internet as a solution for their medical problems. This attitude is unhealthy for them as they put themselves in a vulnerable situation and end up paying an enormous amount to get treated well in a hospital in the end.
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BP 2: the technology- technology
CONCLUSION: summarise the main points without adding extra information
BAND SCORE: 4/6 Keep Writing!
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It has been noticed that few people these days have started relying on online solutions for their medical issues. In my opinion it is not advisable to be completely dependent on technology for the health issues.
It is very crucial to take care of your health related issues very seriously however treating some medical condition through technology can be life threatening. Internet these days is full of unverified information on different portals. Some portals have just gathered the information on the rising health issues and dropped on their portal but it the causes and the symptoms for any disease may warry from person to person.
We can use internet for selecting the best doctor in the town by checking the reviews on the internet. We can compare the services offered by the hospitals and the therapist. Social media has emerged as one of the best information center during this pandemic for checking availability of medical resources such as beds, oxygen supply and the other medical supplies.
So in a nutshell i would like to conclude the technology is still the best place to find out the contacts or references for medical supplies, and also to find out other medical services. The technology is a boon for accessing any information at any point of time from anywhere but internet can not replace doctors, the medical conditions can not be treated by technology, we will have to consult doctors the medium to reach that doctor could be online but the treatment will be given by doctor only.
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BP 1: Some portals: rewrite more clearly
BP 2: the other- other
– avoid we
CONCLUSION: summarise main points
BAND SCORE: 3/6 Keep Writing!
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As technology is evolving to leaps and bounds, solution for many problems are a click away. This has given a radial approach towards most of the traditional and conventional practices, one among the most is, surfing for the medical related queries and proponent to ones own prescription for the persisting problems. I strongly condemn this as a negative development, as this strategy has a detrimental effect on individual’s health, this essay further discusses on this aspect with suitable examples and forming a conclusion.
To embark on, Access for Information and references provided online has huge impact on the todays society. This helps in research of main complex studies and questions very easy, moreover, this helps in educating people on required courses, without spending exorbitant amounts to institutions. Additionally, this will help in increasing the literacy rate. For instance, there are many websites which provide free online courses without or with very minimal lucrative benefits, this ultimately makes the knowledge more affordable and flexible to all sections of the people.
Considering the downside of this, is the data or information existing online are reliable? there are many websites with entails fake information, which is done to attract the viewer to open the link for subscriptions and other monetary benefits. For instance, there was research which testified that, huge number youngsters browse online for the medical related queries and misinterpret the minor inflammations to an deadly diseases, as a results try to end their lives out of anxiety. One should understand that, medical data available online cannot be taken as reference at any point, where each and every individual body adaptability and sustenance is very different and might not work or reflect the same as other.
From the aforesaid statements, technology makes life complex and tedious for survival at times, especially related to medical references which have detrimental impacts. In my opinion, medical related aspects need to be addressed by specialized personals to avoid untoward consequences.
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@anureetsekhon
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