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introduction requires lot of work, it must have a proper structure – you paraphrase the question, following which your opinion and then your points to support reasons for that.
pivotal word is not apropriately used. rather vital, imperative, key role would fit better in this sentence.
pls remember the topic, there is nothing relavant to topic question in the essay. you lose masks for task response for that. Plan your essay properly before beginning to write it. you lose marks for coherence if it lacks structure.
each body paragraph ought to have two central ideas with one supporting idea each, if one central idea, then it should have two supporting indeas.
then finish with conclusion with each central idea paraphrased, ending with your opinion
please refrain from using real life examples, rather try supporting the central idea with your reasons.
don’t be personal. as an honest tax payer is wrong for addressing
you can’t agree and disagree in one essay, its contradicting your owwn self.
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