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BP 1- Rephrase this line with however
BP 2- stay away- incorrect collocation- write: refrain from committing more crimes
prevent them taking- prevent them from taking
towards crime- not required
use synonyms of committing crimes where possible
Conclusion- while coming out- substitute once they have served their punishment
eventually, be decreased- eventually decrease
Note: You have done a good job but this essay requires a little bit of fine tuning
Band Score- 4/6
