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AdministratorJuly 21, 2021 at 3:30 PM1350 Network PointsActivity Points 5960
The perception of number of people is big fat salaries provides (no s) more satisfaction over the job satisfaction. I am(I) strongly condemn about this thought.
First of all, money is not everything in our life. Yes, you can buy anything with the(not needed) money but (you are) unable to buy self satisfaction. If you are not happy with your job that you are doing, it means that you are not performing well & effective work utilization is less. The attitude is not beneficial for individual as well as to the employer. The same argument has been proved by national labor organizations. According to this organization, productivity of the worker is directly proportional to the mental satisfactions of the worker associated with job.
High salaries can give you happiness only once in the month on your salary day but rest of 29 days are like punishment. It has only short term benefits. I have seen number (of) these kind(s) of people whose bank balance are good but always feel tensed and compromised with his (their)conscience. This job frustration definitely tend to have negative impact on the family.
In my conclusion, Job satisfaction plays positive & important role in the life of the individual. This always has prolonged benefits over short term benefits.
Look at the grammatical errors pointed out. These are very simple errors that you should not be committing. The introduction and conclusion paragraph for decent enough. First body paragraph also maintained the structure but the second body paragraph did not do justice to your reasoning. You need to try and keep the length of both body paragraphs similar. The second body paragraph did not start with a cohesive device. You can work to make the sentence is more complex and include a few good vocabulary words there.