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Many people think earning high is necessary for a good lifestyle rather than work pleasure. I strongly disagree with (the statement that) peace of work has less priority than high package job.
First of all, we can’t buy everything with money like good health and happiness, where you work with no weight on you is a better place to work happily like what you want to do(this sentence is not framed properly). It helps you and your organization, where if you are working for a big company for a huge amount, (you always) have stress on you to complete the task in time. For example, sometimes you have to work even on weekends or holidays because your payroll is high and the manager is expecting a lot from you. But in the case of those who work what they like, finish job in time and enjoy their free time.
Secondly, accompanying family and friends in leisure are very prime(not suitable word). If you have time, only (then) you can spend with them, in profitable work, you have less time because you have to work hard to achieve the given task. On the other hand, people can complete the task very quickly because of their passion for work and will often enjoy their free time with family and friends.
To conclude, People have to choose their job (according to)what they like and what they can do instead of high packages jobs. Yes, a good salary is important to live better, but it is not always the same sometimes you have to realize (whether)is it your cup of tea or not.
Feedback:
Commendable work for the structure and thought process. However quite a few grammatical errors are noted and some of the sentences do not make sense. You need to work upon your sentence structure to arrange your ideas better. You miss a few words in the sentences quite often you need to revise your writing once you’re through with it. Try to use a few more good vocabulary words to fulfil the criteria of lexical resources and also only use the words that you are comfortable with. You made a mistake by using the word prime where it was not supposed to be used.
