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Introduction: paraphrase it clearly
is to train- is by training students
Agree To- agree with
This essay will- do not write this sentence as it doesn’t add anything extra instead write a clear thesis statement with main points
BP 1: old days: olden days
One of the main factors are- only include one main point
If you have more points write the main factors are
Routines- routine
Patterns- pattern
Factor- responsible for becoming obese
Exercises- exercise
For example- it is very common use other example linkers
example, Majority- example, majority
BP 2: prosper- strengthen
schooling- school days
exposed- habitual
in outdoor- outdoors
Physical activity hours- long hours of physical activity
knowledge- incorrect word choice- improved health
Conclusion- sum up main points more clearly
Band Score: 3/6 Keep writing!
