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  • Anureet

    July 26, 2021 at 11:57 AM

    Introduction: paraphrase it clearly

    is to train- is by training students

    Agree To- agree with

    This essay will- do not write this sentence as it doesn’t add anything extra instead write a clear thesis statement with main points

    BP 1: old days: olden days

    One of the main factors are- only include one main point

    If you have more points write the main factors are

    Routines- routine

    Patterns- pattern

    Factor- responsible for becoming obese

    Exercises- exercise

    For example- it is very common use other example linkers

    example, Majority- example, majority

    BP 2: prosper- strengthen

    schooling- school days

    exposed- habitual

    in outdoor- outdoors

    Physical activity hours- long hours of physical activity

    knowledge- incorrect word choice- improved health

    Conclusion- sum up main points more clearly

    Band Score: 3/6 Keep writing!

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