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  • Anureet

    July 28, 2021 at 3:13 PM

    INTRODUCTION- people, believe- punctuation mistake- remove comma

    contributing to- that contribute to

    I believe that- In my opinion- clearly shows your opinion

    BP1: supplies- condition

    For an instance, For instance

    guy-highly informal- person

    high economy- high economic growth

    have- has

    BP2: healthiness- health and society

    deriving happiness- that spreads happiness

    lead go- lead

    Conclusion- begin it with the conclusion linker

    vitals- vital elements

    directed to- towards

    BAND SCORE: 3/6

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