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essay is way too long, there is minimum requirement of 250 words only, any word over that is waste of precious time. Intro is very long and not well structured, there is no clear thesis. remember excessive no of words will exhaust your lexical resource, the more you write, the less words you have as synonyms.
work on sentence formation/structure and appropriate usage of words. thrive in tourism isn’t the right collocation. instead, thriving tourism/boost in tourism could’ve been written.
there is no mention of central idea in BP1, which makes it difficult to figure that which side are you mentioning of having English as a global language
do not write advantages and disadvantages on same points/ideas, it is contradicting. In simple words, just come up with 2 advantages and 2 disadvanteges based on diffesent ideas.
“in your conclusion” u look digressed, it sounds off topic. and conslusion has to begin with phrase or word that expresses clearly that conslusion has begun. for instance: to conclude, finally, in conclusion, etc.
2.5/6
